tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2778623786456216039.post1470394452345156052..comments2023-08-16T11:54:55.727-04:00Comments on Two's Company. Three's a Family.: Insight or insecurity?Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03357280337675044927noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2778623786456216039.post-50667706884360328542011-03-23T11:06:06.462-04:002011-03-23T11:06:06.462-04:00:(... you know I'm here for you. Always. I k...:(... you know I'm here for you. Always. I know I haven't gone through everything you've gone through but I hear ya on the timing, the stress, the constantly being bitter everytime someone announces a pregnancy or has a baby. Just know that when we DO have our little miracles happen, and you KNOW it will ;) that ours will be so much more worth it and be the greatest experiences of our lives! :)Sheenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03075373113243246734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2778623786456216039.post-48205869798645021542011-03-20T15:27:49.076-04:002011-03-20T15:27:49.076-04:00I know it sounds pessimistic, and I don't mean...I know it sounds pessimistic, and I don't mean it to be, but the first year of infertility is by far the worse. I think it is because you start with so much expectation that every month is just devastating. Even with failed IUIs and now (probably) IVF nothing has been as bad as that first year.<br /><br />Just take care, and hopefully you won't be in this limbo for much longer.Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07336643483655255680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2778623786456216039.post-44863395208242420142011-03-19T14:36:48.677-04:002011-03-19T14:36:48.677-04:00I've been going through similar struggles. Aft...I've been going through similar struggles. After my second MC I had a total meltdown, which eventually led to anti-anxiety and anti depression meds (yay xanax!). <br />But they are, unfortunately, only a bridge to help you get through the rough patches, and I know there are a lot of those. <br />If there's anything I learned in the last six months though, is that especially during those rough patches, I have to remember to be good to myself. If you're anything like me, your withdrawal from your friends, and inability to share comes from a bit of a self-destructive streak. "I'm not good enough to share my problems" or "I don't want to burden anyone with them". <br />I taught myself to stop it. To take care of myself. To realize that I do deserve to be heard, and to be comforted. Of all of the crap that I've been through in the past year, this was the hardest fought battle. My mantra has been this:<br />Regardless of when and how I become a mommy, I want to be a good mommy. And a happy, healthy mommy is the best gift I can give my future children. <br />Be good to yourself!<br />*hugs*MommyOdysseyhttp://mommyodyssey.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2778623786456216039.post-10894408063316338272011-03-19T09:29:56.086-04:002011-03-19T09:29:56.086-04:00I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I kn...I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I know exactly how you feel. Depression had started creeping in even 6 months into TTC, got worse around the 1-1/2 mark and then got really worse the last 6-9 months. That's when I knew I had to do more than blogging and my support group. I went out and got a counselor that Re.solve had on their resources, someone who specializes in infertility issues. It wasn't cheap but I knew it was worth it. I went for 2 months and then my husband and I took a trip, which really, really helped. <br /><br />I had realized that we had put our lives on hold for too long and that I had lost my sense of who I really was before all the baby stuff became all-consuming. <br /><br />Stuff still bothers me but in general, I'm much more at peace and I really think the infertility counseling helped A LOT. <br /><br />(((hugs)))myinfertilitywoeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00537466634453988773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2778623786456216039.post-43729231089037115792011-03-19T09:16:36.422-04:002011-03-19T09:16:36.422-04:00I've been (am?) where you are emotionally. Wh...I've been (am?) where you are emotionally. When I started this journey, I remember going to my first support group meeting and watching in horror as a woman told her story of going through infertility treaments for over three years and having had four miscarriages. She was absolutley broken in spirit and I thought "I could never get through all of that. And I will never let myself feel that sad." Fast forward almost three years...here I am still trying. At the last support group meeting I went to, I was the veteran...telling my story of disappointments and crying most of the way through my tale. I had become THAT person. It's so sad. But I think it is also reality. I use a xanax (or two) now and then and see an individual counselor and a marriage counselor. That, and staying busy with infertility friends (really busy...oh, and blogging...is all that keeps me putting one foot in front of the other. I wish, after all this time, I had better advice, but I don't. What I can say is that I think you are an awesome person and that pessimist or not, you are going to come through this with a positive outcome. Just keep treading water until then.Princess Wahna Bea Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13525236950612612052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2778623786456216039.post-21088037968983212162011-03-18T21:16:24.564-04:002011-03-18T21:16:24.564-04:00This is all familiar. IF can tear down a woman (a...This is all familiar. IF can tear down a woman (and man) quickly. I too have pulled away from people, me more because I don't want anyone IRL to see me sad and more so see me 'fail'. This is a tough road and I remember being where you are a few years ago not every imagining being here or surviving this long; but I have. I dont want to be in the place I am, but I am and I keep surviving...one day at a time. <br /><br />Email me if you need anything!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2778623786456216039.post-6340157941223270642011-03-18T17:01:52.669-04:002011-03-18T17:01:52.669-04:00I used to think I was really strong person before ...I used to think I was really strong person before IF but now I am weak. You can't control anything in IF which makes it so damn hard. All you can do is make sure your relationship is happy and hold onto faith and hope because that's all we have. I do recommend fertility counselors who specialize in this and trying to maintain a life outside of this and definitely never give up. We are all walking the same path and here to help!Chonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11078580707826544482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2778623786456216039.post-15424432894481445462011-03-18T16:13:46.694-04:002011-03-18T16:13:46.694-04:00Oh sweetie - I feel ya. So much! I have definite...Oh sweetie - I feel ya. So much! I have definitely struggled with a lot of the same things that you have over the years. From growing up awkward and teased, to feeling devastated upon starting to TTC and failing. I wish I could give you a hug and be a friend to you IRL, because we have a lot in common. I found the first year of TTC much harder than the second. Well, the second year was more of a rollercoaster because it involved treatments, pregnancies and losses, but it also involved pure joy (pregnancies). And I found it easier to focus on the DOING something - treatments, appointments, research, etc. rather than just trying and trying and trying. The first year, I was simply depressed. And that is why about nine months into it, I found a therapist that specializes in infertility - she went through it herself. And she is definitely a lifesaver. <br /><br />Keep hanging in there, and use this blog, your friends, your counselor, as outlets for your feelings. It really helps. And if you want to talk on the phone (I'd love to!), email me - I'll give you my number. Hugs!Alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07524692943966582775noreply@blogger.com