Another Strike Out

A swing, and a miss!

Started yesterday after light spotting all morning. Of course, I just thought (hoped) implantation bleeding. AF made sure I knew she meant business this morning!

The stats for this cycle are pretty much the same as last, except O was at cd17 instead of 20, making this cycle only 24d long. As an attempt to keep things positive, one good thing about a short LP is you don't have to wait 2 full weeks for the disappointment!

This is the last cycle I have a script for Letro.zole. After this, I have to go back to the RE for a re-consult. Not entirely sure how that's going to go. Most likely, he'll say I need to fully, FULLY wean. I just don't know if I can do it... She just nurses for comfort, really, and just in the morning. As if TTC#2 wasn't hard enough.

Here's a cute picture of a 21m big girl who is finally letting us do her hair and keeping it in!

My 1yr Blog-iversary

Wow.

I am 2 days late to my own 1 yr celebration (?) of my blog. What a slacker! I guess that's bound to happen when you live your life in 2hr blocks- the days all blur together!

If you had told me when I started this blog a year ago, that I'd be typing my 1st blog-iversary with my very own baby in my lap, I probably would have laughed in your face. Or maybe cried because that couldn't be true. I'm not sure which. And yet, that is exactly where I am. Crazy.

A lot more has changed in the past year than just my parental status. While not all good things, they all played a part in where and who I am today. Here are a few of the highlights:

- The Boy and I have grown closer than we were ever before. Stronger as a couple and more in love with one another. One of the few things I can be thankful for infertility.

- The miscarriage. Definitely a low point, but it opened my eyes to so much and was truly an experience that I came though the other side stronger, more compassionate and far more appreciative than I was.

- I learned to just let things happen. Take things day by day. Not plan and structure everything. While it didn't apply to my whole life, for the 1 or 2 aspects that it did cover, I was able to really enjoy the little things.

- Not sure if it''s been because of the hormones in the fertility meds and pregnancy, but my depression and anxiety are under the best control they've been for ages!

- I've become comfortable enough with our struggle to become parents that I talk with practically anyone about it, just with less details unless it's someone closer. I want people to know that we had to fight to get where we are, and maybe, it might help someone that is going through IF to know they aren't alone and it is something that can be talked about.

- I discovered a place with more support and understanding than I could have imagined. The ALI community may be full of such sad stories and hard choices, the women (and men) that make it up are incredibly strong, courageous, and caring.

Happy 1st birthday, Two's company. Three's a family! I'm beyond happy that I worked up the courage last January to write and publish those 1st posts. I hope you all have at least enjoyed some of my posts and thoughts and possibly found something to help make the journey a little bit easier, if only for a few moments.

Thanks for reading!

I've been a bad, bad blogger...

Good thing it's not against the law to not update your blog. Otherwise, I'd bee looking at some serious time in the hole.

I'm not sure exactly why, but I've just not been feeling the internet lately. I haven't had the obsessive urge to check my emails (yes, plural) or stalk FB or pin things like a fiend on Pinterest. I just haven't been that into the World Wide Web...

I can't say that I've been using all the time away from the computer on productive things, but some of it was. We've (I'm including myself even though I had limited involvement) demo'd our old cruddy, warped, and peeling back deck. I was on nail-flattening and water duty as I can't exactly swing the sledge hammer and such. The site has been prepped, rudimentary leveling and some basic measurements and placement of things. This weekend, after 2 marathon construction days, the upper level was erected and boarded, and the bottom level had the supports placed/sunk in and the framework done. There is just some bits of supporting left to do and then placing the boards.

I have to admit that I weaseled my way into doing some of the manual labor, despite some protests from a few of the helpers. I know my limitations, but I just can't stand by on the sidelines while everyone is sweating and grunting working on my project. I stuck with drilling mostly. I did some of the small board placements, plank cutting, and helped in some dirt leveling and stamping and block sinking.

Other than that though, I've just been sitting around, eating, sleeping, and just hanging out. Oh, and writing up a paper/manuscript for work. Blah. there just isn't a ton going on that is exciting, and I haven't had to motivation to write anything other than the paper (and most of the time, not even that...). I have been reading other blogs, but haven't really been commenting. For that I'm sorry! Like I said, I've been bad. Bad about blogging and bad about commenting. I hope everyone know that I'm secretly stalking your lives and cheering for you!