Counting Down to 2012 (oh, and baby, maybe?)

I'm so very excited for all the possibilities and potential that 2012 holds! 2011 has been an O-K year, but definitely filled with too many ups and downs to simply classify it as a good year or bad year.

Not entirely sure how we'll be ringing in the new year just yet. If you had asked me last week, it would have been possibly hanging with a few friends. Now, plans are kinda in limbo.

On Christmas and earlier in the week, I lost that glamorous mucus plug. Then at my 38w check up on Thursday, the Dr told me that I was already 2cm dilated. While I know that doesn't mean baby is imminent, he said I was ahead of the curve for 1st timers. So I've spent Thursday and Friday checking the TP with renewed vigor for some tinges of blood that would further show progress is being made. The irony is not lost on me though. I spent the last 30-some-odd weeks in fear of anything remotely reddish in color showing up. Now? Bring it.

Everyone keeps chatting me up about labor and baby's arrival. My mom and FIL were betting on the 30th. MIL says a NYE or NY day baby would be awesome. And since all the females on my side of the family have gone into labor prior to their due date, I've been entertaining the notion of meeting baby sooner, rather than later. I'm not sure why I think that trend will continue with me. The fertile/accidental pregnancy(ies) thing sure didn't. What makes me think that anything else reproductively will go the same?

I have to admit, I'm dying to meet my baby. I'd love to go into labor any day, hour or minute now. I'm not really doing anything to rush baby before it's ready, but if the kiddo decides it is time to come out, I'm totally cool with that! But for now, I just feel like I'm stuck in another waiting game. Everyone telling me I could go at any minute and how cool this day or that would be isn't helping either. The Boy is over me being pregnant. He wants our little munchkin to be here 5 minutes ago. Nothing is really helping in making the time go by quicker or distracting me with all that coming my way. It's almost worse than the 2ww. This wait, I have to make sure that the essentials are close at hand should we need to rush to the hospital. Can't/don't really want to go too far from home or the hospital, ya know, just in case. That and I don't really have the energy or range of movement to do all too much anyways.

I've also discovered my newest fear. It's pretty ridiculous, but I'm very much afraid of it. I'm petrified that I won't know I'm in labor, and I'll end up having the kid in the toilet thinking I just had to use the restroom or something. I've been having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions, but since they aren't painful or stop me in my tracks, I haven't been really paying attention to them. What if they are real, honest to goodness labor contractions? What if my incessant need to pee is actually my amniotic fluid leaking out slowly? Everyone says I'll know when the real show is on the road, but what if I don't?

At least if I was in the 2ww, I could justify a drink (pregnancy not likely, and no shared blood flow either way). That and I could fit into something cute and go out for the night. This NYE looks to be shaping up for 1 of 2 outcomes- either I'm sitting at home in pj pants and a shirt that doesn't meet the waistband or I'm wearing a hospital gown trying to push out a baby. Neither is as glamorous as a big night out on the town, drinking and partying, but I'm sure ya'll can all guess which one I'd rather it be!!

A whole new meaning for "pregnancy brain!"

I came across this awesome photo on a demotivational poster site. I hunted up an actual pic that I could share with ya'll... I still can't get over the similarity!

Maybe are girl parts are a residual, primitive brain? Maybe it is also the center of an infertile's "aggression" to smug fertile/pregnant women? Either way it is really funny!

Faster than a Speeding Sperm

I came across this article a few weeks ago and have been meaning to share it with all you ladies.

If you thought the Uterus pinata was great, you will LOVE this!

Introducing the Sperm Cycle!

The latest in Sperm transport

How fantastic is that! In the head is a cooler to hold the frozen sperm being transported.

Now that's keeping a cool head!

It's not all fun and games for this bike, but I still think it is hilarious! I don't know what I'd do if I saw this thing being pedaled around my city! I wonder if the fertility center it is based out of is shaped like an egg...

Baseline to sideline

I had my baseline u/s this morning, more around 9:30a than 9a as they were super busy this morning. No bloodwork. Just me and Senor Wando.

The u/s technician was great. She obviously knows her stuff. In fact, she asked if I was actually cd2, which I am, as my uterine lining is a textbook cd2. Which I think is great. She's also the 2nd medical professional to compliment my uterus. The other was my Ob/Gyn at my IUD placement.

My left ovary was normal, with ~10 antral follicles waiting to start the race to ovulation. It's strange to think that one of those could end up being a baby!

My right ovary... Well, that can just be called my right cyst for the cycle. I have a very large cyst that hasn't resolved itself. I shouldn't worry about it, though. It should go away on its own. But! I can't take any stims this cycle. See ya next cycle, Femara. I also have to go in on my next ~cd3 for another baseline u/s to make sure it is gone by then. Not sure what we'll do if it isn't.

IF I some how manage to actually get pregnant this cycle, the tech told me that I shouldn't worry about the cyst negatively impacting it in any way.

It does explain a few things for me. That Big Ol' Cyst is why I've had the localized cramping/pinching on my right side. And I think I just had a Super Egg! that exploded out on cd14 and decimated my ovary this last cycle, thus explaining the early O. That's at least how I'm going to keep thinking things happened anyways. Still not sure why only a 10d LP with the meds and supps... Also, don't cyst generally delay your period?

PS- I apologize for anyone that had actually hoped my earlier post was true and not my lame attempt to make fun of the usual April Fool's joke that many (fertile) women make. To be honest, I was really, really hoping that the u/s tech would inform me with wonder and disbelief that I was indeed, totally pregnant and the bleeding is a weird fluke. I had this thought 3 different times this morning. Alas, I am not.

"I'm pregnant."

I know that is a super lame April fool's joke. (It is unfortunately a favorite of many fertile women of child-bearing age). However, this year, I could totally play the bitter infertile and post that or tell people that. When they get all excited and such, I can scream "Not!" and dive into how my body actually played that joke on me a few days early and that right now, I'm in the midst of my full-on, raging period. Hahaha! "April Fool's!"

I did call and schedule a follow-up consult with the RE to see we want to try anything new or make any minor changes in my protocol. Not much more we can do as my craptastic insurance won't cover anything but testing, but maybe we can change dosing or meds or delivery forms?

He also emailed me to say I should do some baseline testing this cycle.  I just got off the phone with the office and I'll be going in today (9am actually) for my "cd3/baseline" u/s and probably bloodwork. On cd2. It's going to be a party! These types of procedures and u/s always make me super self conscious. It's bad enough I have to get intimate with Senor Wando, but it ain't no picnic down there on top of that. It's almost enough to make me want to "vajazzle" or do some "clitter" to make it up to the u/s tech! (Links not necessarily safe for work).

I'll update ya'll on everyhing after I find things out and see how things go. Happy Friday and hope you don't get any horrible April Fool's day gags!