Step 3: Dive In.

Kinda going gung-ho on TTC# 2 a bit. I figured if I ordered a ridiculous number of opts and hpts that Murphy's law would have it that I wouldn't need to use many of them. I thought 60 opts and 30 hpts (as a bundle option) was respectable for such an attempt.

Opts, hpts and sperm pills, Oh my!

And since there were soooo many of each, and it's been a while since I've POAS, I took one of each.

Eerrr Eerrrrtt!

Anyone else surprised by this? I wasn't, but man, did it feel satisfying to do that again. I won't lie an say I wasn't hoping a 2nd line would appear on that hpt (blue one).

At this point, I'd actually be happy with a darker 2nd line on the opts. I'm not sure if it's the nursing, which is just in the morning and before bedtime, or if my body is just more screwed up now than it was before Em, but things are not happening. I'm at cd44 today. I had a bout of semi-fertile CM from cd15-19 (pre-Em "normal") and then nothing. Then again at cd34-37, with 2 days of EWish CM, even. And still nothing. Not once has those opts come close to being positive. Sigh...

I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I'm feeling on the fence about weaning fully, but to be honest, since cutting down on the number or times and amount she nurses, I don't think I'm really producing all that much milk. Plus, she's *finally* sleeping through the night and even going to bed pretty easily 9 times out of 10 these days (only took 17m). The girls just aren't filling the nursing bras anymore, even when feeling full-ish. I'm kind of sad to be losing them. Going from a 34A to a 34 full C was awesome! I'm choosing to ignore the 3wks where they were like DD mountains on my chest when my milk came in because that was just awkward. Now, I'm not quite back to my 34A, but my well-worn bummy bras that are probably equivalent to a 32B are fitting pretty great these days. I was really hoping to keep some of the boob growth, but doesn't look like it's in the cards.

But back to my lack of cycle. I can not, for my sanity's sake, keep having month and a half long or longer cycles. I don't know how women deal with this regularly. I know my 28-29d cycles pre-baby were not even close to textbook, but I knew roughly what to expect and could plan for the next month/cycle. Now, I'm completely lost and don't have any clue about what to expect or as it's currently going, not to expect. Maybe I should put a call into the RE? Not sure what he'll be able to do about it, though until I'm not longer breastfeeding.

Has anyone else had longer cycles post baby? Did they regulate eventually?

But to keep this post from being all ho-hum and Debby-Downer, here is some adorable Em!

Baseline to sideline

I had my baseline u/s this morning, more around 9:30a than 9a as they were super busy this morning. No bloodwork. Just me and Senor Wando.

The u/s technician was great. She obviously knows her stuff. In fact, she asked if I was actually cd2, which I am, as my uterine lining is a textbook cd2. Which I think is great. She's also the 2nd medical professional to compliment my uterus. The other was my Ob/Gyn at my IUD placement.

My left ovary was normal, with ~10 antral follicles waiting to start the race to ovulation. It's strange to think that one of those could end up being a baby!

My right ovary... Well, that can just be called my right cyst for the cycle. I have a very large cyst that hasn't resolved itself. I shouldn't worry about it, though. It should go away on its own. But! I can't take any stims this cycle. See ya next cycle, Femara. I also have to go in on my next ~cd3 for another baseline u/s to make sure it is gone by then. Not sure what we'll do if it isn't.

IF I some how manage to actually get pregnant this cycle, the tech told me that I shouldn't worry about the cyst negatively impacting it in any way.

It does explain a few things for me. That Big Ol' Cyst is why I've had the localized cramping/pinching on my right side. And I think I just had a Super Egg! that exploded out on cd14 and decimated my ovary this last cycle, thus explaining the early O. That's at least how I'm going to keep thinking things happened anyways. Still not sure why only a 10d LP with the meds and supps... Also, don't cyst generally delay your period?

PS- I apologize for anyone that had actually hoped my earlier post was true and not my lame attempt to make fun of the usual April Fool's joke that many (fertile) women make. To be honest, I was really, really hoping that the u/s tech would inform me with wonder and disbelief that I was indeed, totally pregnant and the bleeding is a weird fluke. I had this thought 3 different times this morning. Alas, I am not.

"I'm pregnant."

I know that is a super lame April fool's joke. (It is unfortunately a favorite of many fertile women of child-bearing age). However, this year, I could totally play the bitter infertile and post that or tell people that. When they get all excited and such, I can scream "Not!" and dive into how my body actually played that joke on me a few days early and that right now, I'm in the midst of my full-on, raging period. Hahaha! "April Fool's!"

I did call and schedule a follow-up consult with the RE to see we want to try anything new or make any minor changes in my protocol. Not much more we can do as my craptastic insurance won't cover anything but testing, but maybe we can change dosing or meds or delivery forms?

He also emailed me to say I should do some baseline testing this cycle.  I just got off the phone with the office and I'll be going in today (9am actually) for my "cd3/baseline" u/s and probably bloodwork. On cd2. It's going to be a party! These types of procedures and u/s always make me super self conscious. It's bad enough I have to get intimate with Senor Wando, but it ain't no picnic down there on top of that. It's almost enough to make me want to "vajazzle" or do some "clitter" to make it up to the u/s tech! (Links not necessarily safe for work).

I'll update ya'll on everyhing after I find things out and see how things go. Happy Friday and hope you don't get any horrible April Fool's day gags!