10 Weeks

Yup.

That's the length of this cycle. CD 72 today. I've had a tiny bit of spotting yesterday and today on the tp. And then there is the cramps and uncomfortable midsection. I sure hope that means this marathon of anovulation is ending.

I had my yearly exam on Monday. The NP was also disappointed that my body isn't cooperating. Once things do start going, she says that I can drop in anytime to have my progesterone levels checked after Ov.

Nursing and my weight are the likely suspects. Even though the amount of nursing and milk have decreased, she thinks the stimulation is still just enough to suppress my cycle. Also, even though I'm pretty much where I was pre-PG weight-wise, I should gain the 10lbs that I've been recommended to do for the last 5-7yrs. It hasn't worked well before and I don't hold out much hope this time. I know it sounds like a horrible plight. I know so many woman that wouldn't hesitate to say "I wish I had that problem." But those women aren't likely TTC and having issues ovulating...

Apparently, I'm not "progesterone-deficient" as I previously though but produce insufficient estrogen. This would explain why I had later ovulation than average, low or non-existent sex drive often. It doesn't explain why I had awesome EWCM for days before ovulation or great uterine lining. It's not like I actually expect my body to have conditions that are normal or typical at this point, but it would be nic eif it would at least be screw up in a consistent manner.

Blah. I'm hoping this blog has more cheerful posts soon. Between the cycle that never ends, work crap, home/husband/finance crap, and the weaning and hormonal changes, I'm seriously experiencing a major chase of the Blues. I need some good news and soon.

Nada

CD63.

THIRD round of semi-fertile CM.

Opt and hpt are still negative, but at least yesterday the line on the opt was at half the darkness of the control line. It's better than barely there, right?

I have an appt with my favorite nurse-practitioner on Monday morning. Other than the usual poking and prodding of the annual exam,  this will be my main concern/complaint. I'll see what she thinks and go from there. It will save me the $75 to see the RE for another consult/appt since women well visits are now covered by insurance (my plan didn't renew until July rather than January like most).

This blows.

Em has had several days where she's nursed just in the morning. No discomfort on my boobs' part going 24hrs or more without her nursing. Back into my pre-PG bras with some room to spare. She's also been going back and forth from side to side several times when nursing, so I know I'm making next to nothing these days.

Come on body! Get yourself together and work for a change...

Step 3: Dive In.

Kinda going gung-ho on TTC# 2 a bit. I figured if I ordered a ridiculous number of opts and hpts that Murphy's law would have it that I wouldn't need to use many of them. I thought 60 opts and 30 hpts (as a bundle option) was respectable for such an attempt.

Opts, hpts and sperm pills, Oh my!

And since there were soooo many of each, and it's been a while since I've POAS, I took one of each.

Eerrr Eerrrrtt!

Anyone else surprised by this? I wasn't, but man, did it feel satisfying to do that again. I won't lie an say I wasn't hoping a 2nd line would appear on that hpt (blue one).

At this point, I'd actually be happy with a darker 2nd line on the opts. I'm not sure if it's the nursing, which is just in the morning and before bedtime, or if my body is just more screwed up now than it was before Em, but things are not happening. I'm at cd44 today. I had a bout of semi-fertile CM from cd15-19 (pre-Em "normal") and then nothing. Then again at cd34-37, with 2 days of EWish CM, even. And still nothing. Not once has those opts come close to being positive. Sigh...

I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I'm feeling on the fence about weaning fully, but to be honest, since cutting down on the number or times and amount she nurses, I don't think I'm really producing all that much milk. Plus, she's *finally* sleeping through the night and even going to bed pretty easily 9 times out of 10 these days (only took 17m). The girls just aren't filling the nursing bras anymore, even when feeling full-ish. I'm kind of sad to be losing them. Going from a 34A to a 34 full C was awesome! I'm choosing to ignore the 3wks where they were like DD mountains on my chest when my milk came in because that was just awkward. Now, I'm not quite back to my 34A, but my well-worn bummy bras that are probably equivalent to a 32B are fitting pretty great these days. I was really hoping to keep some of the boob growth, but doesn't look like it's in the cards.

But back to my lack of cycle. I can not, for my sanity's sake, keep having month and a half long or longer cycles. I don't know how women deal with this regularly. I know my 28-29d cycles pre-baby were not even close to textbook, but I knew roughly what to expect and could plan for the next month/cycle. Now, I'm completely lost and don't have any clue about what to expect or as it's currently going, not to expect. Maybe I should put a call into the RE? Not sure what he'll be able to do about it, though until I'm not longer breastfeeding.

Has anyone else had longer cycles post baby? Did they regulate eventually?

But to keep this post from being all ho-hum and Debby-Downer, here is some adorable Em!