I don't know how I feel about it this year...
This morning on the radio, driving in the parking deck at work, a commercial almost had me sobbing behind the wheel. One of the local fertility clinics runs commercials, more frequently it seems, surrounding family-themed holidays. Currently, this one is about wanting to change your name. To "Mom." In that instance, all the pain and longing I felt while TTC and dealing with IF came flooding back. At the same time, I was overcome with sadness for those still feeling those same emotions everyday. And how beyond blessed I am to be able to have that title now, myself.
I'm overjoyed that I'm actually* a Mother for it this year. But maybe I have my expectations of how significant this day actually is too high. Maybe, like my views on Valentine's, it's just a commercially over-rated day to celebrate something that should be celebrated everyday. All I know is that I'm expecting this May 13th to be unlike any I've ever had.
That being said, I don't feel that this upcoming holiday only belongs to maternal parental units. I truly feel that one becomes a mother when they accept a child into their heart. It has nothing to do with pushing one out your wazoo. The moment you decide to share your life with a child, you are a Mom. To some, this may happen at the child's birth. Some, when they get that gender or 1st ultrasound. Others at that 2nd line. And I think for most reading this post, it happened the instant you decided to TTC.
It may be almost a week early, but I want to wish all you women a happy Mother's day. You are a wonderful mother to you child, be it in your arms, belly, heart or dreams.
*As defined by other people.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Monday, May 7, 2012
Sunday, May 8, 2011
The Power of Definitions
Mother - [muhth-er]
"What Is a Mother? A mother is someone to shelter and guide us,
To love us, whatever we do,
With a warm understanding and infinite patience,
And wonderful gentleness, too.
How often a mother means swift reassurance
In soothing our small, childish fears,
How tenderly mothers watch over their children
And treasure them all through the years!
The heart of a mother is full of forgiveness
For any mistake, big or small,
And generous always in helping her family
Whose needs she has placed above all.
A mother can utter a word of compassion
And make all our cares fall away,
She can brighten a home with the sound of her laughter
And make life delightful and gay.
A mother possesses incredible wisdom
And wonderful insight and skill -
In each human heart is that one special corner
Which only a mother can fill!
- Katherine Nelson Davis "
To me, a mother is someone who cares and loves for another living thing. A person who nurtures, supports, comforts, and tends to others. One can "mother" a pet, a husband, a friend, a business, an idea, a passion. A child does not have to have passed through your vaginal canal for a woman to give birth to something.
To be a mother, there doesn't have to a human child in your arms or in your body. If the love for a child is in your heart, you are a mother.
I am wishing everyone a Happy Mother's day. Whether with us currently, too briefly, or still waiting to be conceived, we all have children in our heart. And that is where true mothers lie.
And while on the topic of definitions, what is "infertile"? The Boy got me thinking on this the other day. Can I technically be considered infertile? I've managed to get pregnant twice in 4m, and both prior to the 1yr TTC mark.
No where does it say that infertility is the inability to get and/or stay pregnant, with or without medical intervention. It is usually determined by age and length of time. No where does it talk about reproductive disorders equating to infertility, such that conditions X, Y, or Z will complicate or prevent conception and pregnancy.
Neither I nor the Boy meet the "accepted" definition of infertility, even through we both have our own individual issues in the baby-making/keeping department. If we hadn't been proactive, I doubt either pregnancy would have occurred. We'd still be here, 11m later not sure why things haven't happened. Wasting month after month, not knowing we had 0.01% chance of any success each cycle.
Am I actually "infertile"? I don't know, but I can identify with the IF community far more than with the general TTC or pregnant population. I have the same fears, concerns, and hopes as all of you. I lack the comfort, innocence, and naivety of conception and pregnancy that the large majority of women get to experience. I may be pregnant today, but tomorrow still looms large and imposing. There is still 8m between now and the possibility of bringing a child home. So much can happen in the blink of an eye, let alone 8m. I can't even begin to think of myself as fertile until I'm holding that baby in my arms, safe at home...
1. a female who has given birth to offspring
2. one's female parent.
3. a mother-in-law, stepmother, or adoptive mother.
That is the dictionary's definition of a mother. It that the only correct answer? Does a "mother" have to have a human child to meet this definition?
"What Is a Mother? A mother is someone to shelter and guide us,
To love us, whatever we do,
With a warm understanding and infinite patience,
And wonderful gentleness, too.
How often a mother means swift reassurance
In soothing our small, childish fears,
How tenderly mothers watch over their children
And treasure them all through the years!
The heart of a mother is full of forgiveness
For any mistake, big or small,
And generous always in helping her family
Whose needs she has placed above all.
A mother can utter a word of compassion
And make all our cares fall away,
She can brighten a home with the sound of her laughter
And make life delightful and gay.
A mother possesses incredible wisdom
And wonderful insight and skill -
In each human heart is that one special corner
Which only a mother can fill!
- Katherine Nelson Davis "
To me, a mother is someone who cares and loves for another living thing. A person who nurtures, supports, comforts, and tends to others. One can "mother" a pet, a husband, a friend, a business, an idea, a passion. A child does not have to have passed through your vaginal canal for a woman to give birth to something.
To be a mother, there doesn't have to a human child in your arms or in your body. If the love for a child is in your heart, you are a mother.
I am wishing everyone a Happy Mother's day. Whether with us currently, too briefly, or still waiting to be conceived, we all have children in our heart. And that is where true mothers lie.
*****************
And while on the topic of definitions, what is "infertile"? The Boy got me thinking on this the other day. Can I technically be considered infertile? I've managed to get pregnant twice in 4m, and both prior to the 1yr TTC mark.
No where does it say that infertility is the inability to get and/or stay pregnant, with or without medical intervention. It is usually determined by age and length of time. No where does it talk about reproductive disorders equating to infertility, such that conditions X, Y, or Z will complicate or prevent conception and pregnancy.
Neither I nor the Boy meet the "accepted" definition of infertility, even through we both have our own individual issues in the baby-making/keeping department. If we hadn't been proactive, I doubt either pregnancy would have occurred. We'd still be here, 11m later not sure why things haven't happened. Wasting month after month, not knowing we had 0.01% chance of any success each cycle.
Am I actually "infertile"? I don't know, but I can identify with the IF community far more than with the general TTC or pregnant population. I have the same fears, concerns, and hopes as all of you. I lack the comfort, innocence, and naivety of conception and pregnancy that the large majority of women get to experience. I may be pregnant today, but tomorrow still looms large and imposing. There is still 8m between now and the possibility of bringing a child home. So much can happen in the blink of an eye, let alone 8m. I can't even begin to think of myself as fertile until I'm holding that baby in my arms, safe at home...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)