I'm so very excited for all the possibilities and potential that 2012 holds! 2011 has been an O-K year, but definitely filled with too many ups and downs to simply classify it as a good year or bad year.
Not entirely sure how we'll be ringing in the new year just yet. If you had asked me last week, it would have been possibly hanging with a few friends. Now, plans are kinda in limbo.
On Christmas and earlier in the week, I lost that glamorous mucus plug. Then at my 38w check up on Thursday, the Dr told me that I was already 2cm dilated. While I know that doesn't mean baby is imminent, he said I was ahead of the curve for 1st timers. So I've spent Thursday and Friday checking the TP with renewed vigor for some tinges of blood that would further show progress is being made. The irony is not lost on me though. I spent the last 30-some-odd weeks in fear of anything remotely reddish in color showing up. Now? Bring it.
Everyone keeps chatting me up about labor and baby's arrival. My mom and FIL were betting on the 30th. MIL says a NYE or NY day baby would be awesome. And since all the females on my side of the family have gone into labor prior to their due date, I've been entertaining the notion of meeting baby sooner, rather than later. I'm not sure why I think that trend will continue with me. The fertile/accidental pregnancy(ies) thing sure didn't. What makes me think that anything else reproductively will go the same?
I have to admit, I'm dying to meet my baby. I'd love to go into labor any day, hour or minute now. I'm not really doing anything to rush baby before it's ready, but if the kiddo decides it is time to come out, I'm totally cool with that! But for now, I just feel like I'm stuck in another waiting game. Everyone telling me I could go at any minute and how cool this day or that would be isn't helping either. The Boy is over me being pregnant. He wants our little munchkin to be here 5 minutes ago. Nothing is really helping in making the time go by quicker or distracting me with all that coming my way. It's almost worse than the 2ww. This wait, I have to make sure that the essentials are close at hand should we need to rush to the hospital. Can't/don't really want to go too far from home or the hospital, ya know, just in case. That and I don't really have the energy or range of movement to do all too much anyways.
I've also discovered my newest fear. It's pretty ridiculous, but I'm very much afraid of it. I'm petrified that I won't know I'm in labor, and I'll end up having the kid in the toilet thinking I just had to use the restroom or something. I've been having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions, but since they aren't painful or stop me in my tracks, I haven't been really paying attention to them. What if they are real, honest to goodness labor contractions? What if my incessant need to pee is actually my amniotic fluid leaking out slowly? Everyone says I'll know when the real show is on the road, but what if I don't?
At least if I was in the 2ww, I could justify a drink (pregnancy not likely, and no shared blood flow either way). That and I could fit into something cute and go out for the night. This NYE looks to be shaping up for 1 of 2 outcomes- either I'm sitting at home in pj pants and a shirt that doesn't meet the waistband or I'm wearing a hospital gown trying to push out a baby. Neither is as glamorous as a big night out on the town, drinking and partying, but I'm sure ya'll can all guess which one I'd rather it be!!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
The BIG Drop
I'm not referring to my holiday season lack of decorating, card mailing and present buying.
I'm not even referencing the NYE ball drop.
Nope.
I'm talking about my belly. It's lowering more and more each day. I am actually, honestly, and undeniably waddling these days. I need help up off the couch or chairs most of the time. If I squat down to look or pick anything up, someone had best be next to me to pull me up! That, or I have to fall to my butt, get on my hands and knees, and pull myself up using nearby, stable objects. And just an FYI (and probably TMI too), a mucus plug is like EWCM on crack and steroids! Plus, it isn't accompanied by the urge to pounce the husband, much to both our dismay.
It took almost the whole 9 months, but I'm at the point where I can't help but complain. My back is killing me. My boobs feel like lead weights on my chest half the time. My ankles and feet are swollen more often then not. I have to visit the restroom far to frequently for my personal comfort. Sleep is elusive. I have 2 bottoms and 3 shirts that kinda, sorta fit and cover the burgeoning belly and are decently comfortable. Oh, and the on-again-off-again nausea has returned. I don't think I even need to mention the pendulum that is my emotions. Did I mention the lightening punches to my cervix?
Still, even given all the physical discomforts, the hormonal roller-coaster of my mental state, and the fact that I'm barreling ever faster to my due date, I'm still overjoyed and immensely grateful to be pregnant. To have the opportunity to have these things to complain about, mostly just to the Boy. 90% of people I know or those strangers that find out I'm 38w continually mention how I must be beyond ready to get this baby out of me. That I should be begging to go into labor ASAP. Honestly, I'm not. Sure, I mean I'm uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean I still don't relish having my baby staying in until (s)he is ready, growing strong and staying healthy in the mean time.
Besides, I've gotten pretty good at being pregnant (or at least I think so). I know what I'm doing, mostly, and things have been going pretty well. This next part? I'm not 100% sure about it. Are we truly ready to be completely responsible for another human being? Babies, from what I hear, are a lot different from puppies and kittens, at least in the beginning. While I can't wait to be a mom, will I be a good one? Will my child be happy to have me as a parent years down the road? How can I make sure that I don't screw this kid up for life? Compared to all those thoughts and worries, labor doesn't even remotely frighten me.
Hopefully, before the end of the week, I can work up the courage to finish packing my labor and hospital bags...
I'm not even referencing the NYE ball drop.
Nope.
I'm talking about my belly. It's lowering more and more each day. I am actually, honestly, and undeniably waddling these days. I need help up off the couch or chairs most of the time. If I squat down to look or pick anything up, someone had best be next to me to pull me up! That, or I have to fall to my butt, get on my hands and knees, and pull myself up using nearby, stable objects. And just an FYI (and probably TMI too), a mucus plug is like EWCM on crack and steroids! Plus, it isn't accompanied by the urge to pounce the husband, much to both our dismay.
It took almost the whole 9 months, but I'm at the point where I can't help but complain. My back is killing me. My boobs feel like lead weights on my chest half the time. My ankles and feet are swollen more often then not. I have to visit the restroom far to frequently for my personal comfort. Sleep is elusive. I have 2 bottoms and 3 shirts that kinda, sorta fit and cover the burgeoning belly and are decently comfortable. Oh, and the on-again-off-again nausea has returned. I don't think I even need to mention the pendulum that is my emotions. Did I mention the lightening punches to my cervix?
Still, even given all the physical discomforts, the hormonal roller-coaster of my mental state, and the fact that I'm barreling ever faster to my due date, I'm still overjoyed and immensely grateful to be pregnant. To have the opportunity to have these things to complain about, mostly just to the Boy. 90% of people I know or those strangers that find out I'm 38w continually mention how I must be beyond ready to get this baby out of me. That I should be begging to go into labor ASAP. Honestly, I'm not. Sure, I mean I'm uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean I still don't relish having my baby staying in until (s)he is ready, growing strong and staying healthy in the mean time.
Besides, I've gotten pretty good at being pregnant (or at least I think so). I know what I'm doing, mostly, and things have been going pretty well. This next part? I'm not 100% sure about it. Are we truly ready to be completely responsible for another human being? Babies, from what I hear, are a lot different from puppies and kittens, at least in the beginning. While I can't wait to be a mom, will I be a good one? Will my child be happy to have me as a parent years down the road? How can I make sure that I don't screw this kid up for life? Compared to all those thoughts and worries, labor doesn't even remotely frighten me.
Hopefully, before the end of the week, I can work up the courage to finish packing my labor and hospital bags...
Friday, December 23, 2011
Paging Dr. WTF!
I wonder if doctors have to take etiquette classes in med school. From my experience, I doubt it. It definitely needs to be a requirement though. Special session: Infertile Etiquette.
Yesterday, during my routine (and now weekly) Ob check-up, after the Q&A session and hearing the heartbeat, the Doc checks my fundal height. Out of the blue, "Excuse me a moment" and out the door he goes. I can hear him talking with a nurse out in the hall for several minutes. He re-enters. Without any apology or explanation- "Will you be around tomorrow? I'd like to schedule you for an ultrasound."
The panic alarm goes off in my brain. I don't think anything is really wrong, but I always go to the worse case scenario in my head. The fact that this just came out of left field caught me off guard as well. The last thing a Dr should do is make a pregnant lady worry about the health of her baby. It should never be done to someone who has gone through infertility.
Apparently, I'm measuring small for date. I've been so pretty much the whole time. It seems like the last few weeks it has been drastic enough for them to be concerned that their may be some growth restriction or something else possibly going on with baby. He even said "We don't want to be surprised and caught unprepared for a 4-4.5lb baby." Do they always have to bring on the bad options and save the only good option for last? "It could just be that everything is fine, and you are just smaller."
I was never expecting a big baby. Heck, I wasn't even 6lbs at birth. My mom's biggest baby was 6.5lbs. The boy was an 8 pounder, but he's not a very large guy. I've always been small and petite. I would be astounded if baby was to be >8lbs!
Why couldn't the Dr just say "It's most likely that you're measuring small because you and your husband are smaller people, but just to make sure that there isn't anything more serious going on, I'd like to get you in for an ultrasound in the next few days."? Would that be so difficult?
In the end, baby is measuring fine. A bit smaller at 36w4d rather than 37w3d, but in the 37th percentile off measurements. The u/s tech said baby is probably about 6-6.5lbs (ish) and my fluid levels are good. "I know he just wanted to make sure, but I'm not surprised that everything is fine. You're not very big yourself. It should be nice not to deliver a 9lb baby though!" The techs always amaze me. They can so easily find what they are looking for in there. I could barely tell what was what this time as it was all jumbled and squashed up together.
Long story short: Dr. made a "could go into labor any day now" infertile pregnant lady thing something might have gone wrong since the last u/s at 24w. I seriously kept going back to the thought that I've made it all this way for something to go wrong at the end?All it would have taken to prevent that is a change in wording!
At least now we have some small peace of mind over the holidays that things are good. Baby and I are healthy and doing well. Hopefully, the trend continues onto delivery and well beyond...
Yesterday, during my routine (and now weekly) Ob check-up, after the Q&A session and hearing the heartbeat, the Doc checks my fundal height. Out of the blue, "Excuse me a moment" and out the door he goes. I can hear him talking with a nurse out in the hall for several minutes. He re-enters. Without any apology or explanation- "Will you be around tomorrow? I'd like to schedule you for an ultrasound."
The panic alarm goes off in my brain. I don't think anything is really wrong, but I always go to the worse case scenario in my head. The fact that this just came out of left field caught me off guard as well. The last thing a Dr should do is make a pregnant lady worry about the health of her baby. It should never be done to someone who has gone through infertility.
Apparently, I'm measuring small for date. I've been so pretty much the whole time. It seems like the last few weeks it has been drastic enough for them to be concerned that their may be some growth restriction or something else possibly going on with baby. He even said "We don't want to be surprised and caught unprepared for a 4-4.5lb baby." Do they always have to bring on the bad options and save the only good option for last? "It could just be that everything is fine, and you are just smaller."
I was never expecting a big baby. Heck, I wasn't even 6lbs at birth. My mom's biggest baby was 6.5lbs. The boy was an 8 pounder, but he's not a very large guy. I've always been small and petite. I would be astounded if baby was to be >8lbs!
Why couldn't the Dr just say "It's most likely that you're measuring small because you and your husband are smaller people, but just to make sure that there isn't anything more serious going on, I'd like to get you in for an ultrasound in the next few days."? Would that be so difficult?
In the end, baby is measuring fine. A bit smaller at 36w4d rather than 37w3d, but in the 37th percentile off measurements. The u/s tech said baby is probably about 6-6.5lbs (ish) and my fluid levels are good. "I know he just wanted to make sure, but I'm not surprised that everything is fine. You're not very big yourself. It should be nice not to deliver a 9lb baby though!" The techs always amaze me. They can so easily find what they are looking for in there. I could barely tell what was what this time as it was all jumbled and squashed up together.
Long story short: Dr. made a "could go into labor any day now" infertile pregnant lady thing something might have gone wrong since the last u/s at 24w. I seriously kept going back to the thought that I've made it all this way for something to go wrong at the end?All it would have taken to prevent that is a change in wording!
At least now we have some small peace of mind over the holidays that things are good. Baby and I are healthy and doing well. Hopefully, the trend continues onto delivery and well beyond...
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
I've missed the Holiday Hooplah bus.
3 (or 4 depending on how you look at it) days until Christmas. Here's what I've completed for the holiday:
Put up 2 wreaths in the windows and a bow on the front door.
Decorated the chandelier tree I showed last post.
Hung holiday cards and stockings from the mantle
The end.
Writing and sending out Christmas cards is just not going to happen this year. Heck, Christmas is on Sunday, and I've accomplished exactly ZERO gift shopping. Zilch. Nada.
Thankfully, family and friends have given me the "preggo pass" on some of these things, but that does nothing to ease my guilt of coming off as Scrooge or the Grinch. Christmas just snuck up on me this year, it seems.
Some of my guilt and self-shaming is alleviated has been countered by me not asking for anything for Christmas. There is nothing really that I want that people can get me. I'm truly just thankful to have family that I can spend it with since my folks moved down here (which means my other sisters will be visiting here). Previously, it would have just been the Boy and I sitting on the couch with Christmas Spaghetti or the like. It's apparently not highly recommended to be traveling a few hours from the hospital at almost 38w pregnant. Go figure. Also, his parents will be coming up to visit on Tuesday, so that will be great as well.
All I'd really like for the holidays is to spend time with family. Now, if some one was able to wrap it up and put a bow on it, I'd love assurance that baby will arrive safely, and we'll both be happy and healthy at the end of it all. But since that doesn't fit well in any box, I'll just take family time.
Here is hoping everyone out there have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Awesome Kwanza, and Jolly Festivus! May your days be Merry and Bright and you get all that you want under the tree, menorah, etc. I'd put a baby under them if it was in my power!!
Put up 2 wreaths in the windows and a bow on the front door.
Decorated the chandelier tree I showed last post.
Hung holiday cards and stockings from the mantle
The end.
Writing and sending out Christmas cards is just not going to happen this year. Heck, Christmas is on Sunday, and I've accomplished exactly ZERO gift shopping. Zilch. Nada.
Thankfully, family and friends have given me the "preggo pass" on some of these things, but that does nothing to ease my guilt of coming off as Scrooge or the Grinch. Christmas just snuck up on me this year, it seems.
Some of my guilt and self-shaming is alleviated has been countered by me not asking for anything for Christmas. There is nothing really that I want that people can get me. I'm truly just thankful to have family that I can spend it with since my folks moved down here (which means my other sisters will be visiting here). Previously, it would have just been the Boy and I sitting on the couch with Christmas Spaghetti or the like. It's apparently not highly recommended to be traveling a few hours from the hospital at almost 38w pregnant. Go figure. Also, his parents will be coming up to visit on Tuesday, so that will be great as well.
All I'd really like for the holidays is to spend time with family. Now, if some one was able to wrap it up and put a bow on it, I'd love assurance that baby will arrive safely, and we'll both be happy and healthy at the end of it all. But since that doesn't fit well in any box, I'll just take family time.
Here is hoping everyone out there have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Awesome Kwanza, and Jolly Festivus! May your days be Merry and Bright and you get all that you want under the tree, menorah, etc. I'd put a baby under them if it was in my power!!
Friday, December 9, 2011
Busy Bee Sampler
Woohoo! Another post! And only 2.5wk between them... Oh well...
I figured that rather than a long, text-filled post, I'd join the photo bandwagon for a change and show you guys some of the things that I've been filling my time with these last few months, weeks, etc. You know, as proof that I haven't just been sitting on my (expanding) butt on the couch the whole time.
**WARNING: there are several baby and pregnancy related pics below. I've tried to group them as best I can if you need to skip on past them. I totally understand.**
Oh and when I am on my kiester on the couch (Boy calls it my "fort"), I'm doing 1 of 2 things:
1) Internet-y things. Primarily, email, blogs, Face.book and P.interest. Lots and lots of pinning! (There is far to much good food and amazing crafts on that site!!) Oh and hunting for some awesome craigs.list finds for the nursery, etc.
2) Experiencing things like this:
Yeah... it's like a college dorm room in there - very little space but lots of partying! We've reached the "Countdown" stage. Just 1 month to go (ish) and hopefully the last 1.5yr+ will all have been worth it!
And if anyone is wondering, my weight gain reached about 30lbs total now. I've never been one to really gain or lose weight in any real amount, but to have put on 30lbs in pretty much 4-5m blows me away! To think, I was doubting that I could gain it when the Docs 1st told me. I don't mind the amount, and I'm sure it has all gone to my boobs, butt, hips, and of course belly. For being 8m pregnant, I'm feeling pretty good 90% of the time. Here's hoping that keeps through the holidays!
I figured that rather than a long, text-filled post, I'd join the photo bandwagon for a change and show you guys some of the things that I've been filling my time with these last few months, weeks, etc. You know, as proof that I haven't just been sitting on my (expanding) butt on the couch the whole time.
**WARNING: there are several baby and pregnancy related pics below. I've tried to group them as best I can if you need to skip on past them. I totally understand.**
 |
| Our still un-completed deck that was started in September. Eventually, one day, we'll finish staining it, put up the last few rail spindles and do the benches... |
 |
| Sparse Christmas decorations. Just a little bit for that holiday feel, without all the work of a full on tree and exterior lighting. |
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| Lots and lots of painting involved. And even more moving things from one room to another and back again! Eventually, that will become an actual, usable closet and room! |
 |
| I've written so many as you can see. That whole stack is blank... |
Oh and when I am on my kiester on the couch (Boy calls it my "fort"), I'm doing 1 of 2 things:
1) Internet-y things. Primarily, email, blogs, Face.book and P.interest. Lots and lots of pinning! (There is far to much good food and amazing crafts on that site!!) Oh and hunting for some awesome craigs.list finds for the nursery, etc.
 |
| This has probably been my best find/deal ever! $50 and in great condition- original caning and finish. |
2) Experiencing things like this:
 |
| The closest I'm going to come to posting a "bump" pic on here. Enjoy my "beauty mark", scar, and wonderful linea negra! |
And if anyone is wondering, my weight gain reached about 30lbs total now. I've never been one to really gain or lose weight in any real amount, but to have put on 30lbs in pretty much 4-5m blows me away! To think, I was doubting that I could gain it when the Docs 1st told me. I don't mind the amount, and I'm sure it has all gone to my boobs, butt, hips, and of course belly. For being 8m pregnant, I'm feeling pretty good 90% of the time. Here's hoping that keeps through the holidays!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Post-shower Thought Dump
Ok, so it's been a week since my shower. A very busy, sleep-deprived kind of week.
So, overall, I'd have to say the shower wasn't all that bad. Awkward and uncomfortable at times, but not too horrible. There were points were I felt kinda lost and useless, standing/sitting around while other people were playing the games and getting ready, etc.
My SIL and friend really out did themselves, though. It was a good bit "theme-y" but at least the theme was fall/pumpkins and not something obnoxious like diaper pins/rattles, etc. I don't personally have any photos as I was a bit occupied putting on my smiley face and pretending that this is just a commonplace pregnancy and I don't have a care in the world. All the relatives over 35 that attended insisted on belly rubbings though. Definitely some of the awkward times there.
The food was really good and was predominantly made by the friend-that-helped-decorate's boyfriend. Yum! I just mostly grazed. The anxiety kinda killed my appetite. I experienced most of the food as leftovers that SIL insisted we take home. Left-overs included about 1lb of meatballs, a pint of spinach dip, a quart of chicken and grape salad, 1 dozen cupcakes (mostly carrot cake, but a few chocolate ones too), brownie "cake" pops, misc candies and some pretzels.
Games weren't too horrible. There was the obligatory "How big is my belly" game, a diaper raffle, and "guess the mystery baby items". I prefaced the belly sizing game with the fact that I won't hold it against anyone if they make their length of "belly tape" crazy long. I'm not huge and I know it. I'm comfortable with my size so a silly piece of plastic that is 5ft long isn't going to send me into hysterics, hiding in the bathroom. Two people tied for the game though. My super-fertile friend from work with the practically 1yo little girl who is my cloth diaper mentor and my friend E who is (still) TTC and recently started going to the RE practice that we saw. I really wanted E to get the prize b/c Fertile Friend won the diaper raffle. Unfortunately, SIL had a guess the number tie-breaker instead. It was fair, but I really wanted E to have won! I got to keep all the baby items from the Mystery game which I not too surprisingly got all of them correct when we did the answers.
Then it was presents time. Holy freaking Cow! I have never opened that many gifts at any one point in my entire life before. Not even for our wedding! It was like a never ending pile of gifts and cards and tissue paper! We got some awesome stuff from our registry. Lots of practical items (which I love!). We even had a few crafty friends and families make us some things like a bib, onesie, pants/sweater outfit and blanket. I almost cried at those, but was able to hold it together. My MIL even brought the travel system she purchased for use, assembled and all. She out did herself b/c she even got it in the color I truly fell in love with, but couldn't find a link for anywhere but the maker's website. Sneaky husband apparently had a hand in that.
And then it was time that things were wrapping up. Holy crap again! It had been 3.5hrs! All in all, there were about 20 people there (10 of which were relatives). I didn't expect so many people to show up at all! As the Boy said, "Guess people actually really like me" (or they just really like things baby related). It was awesome having the Boy there the whole time, even if he wasn't actively participating or spending time with many people.
I can't remember if it was that evening or the next day, but I sent E a message to let her know how greatly I appreciated her attending and how much it meant to me. She said she had a great time and loved it. She is a better woman than I because I know how hard and sucky showers are when you keep getting met with disappointment in your own baby-endeavors. On top of that, she has just started her period a few days earlier. Bless her heart, she has such a better outlook on things than I did at that point. I keep thinking about it, and when the time comes (hopefully soon), I think I will offer to throw E a shower...
So grand summation of the baby shower - Not bad and almost enjoyable, but makes me really glad I only had 1 big shower and not several of medium showers (like my 2w-behind me friend whose 4th shower is this afternoon). Sure, you'd get more things that way, but that is sooo not my cup or tea! I just enjoyed having all my family and friends there supporting us and being excited for us. It also kinda lit a fire under my bum to get things cranking away in preps for baby. We had started painting the nursery, but last weekend upped the gears a bit. As I type this, the room has 2 coats of the 2 primary colors, and I'm about to start on one of the accent stripes. Also, I've gone through some of the items we've received previously and sorted/organized them as well. We still have quite a ways to go... 7w should be plenty of time for that, right? Especially with Thanksgiving and Christmas tucked in there...
List of things left to do for nursery:
Buy/decorate baby dresser
Assemble crib once my parents drop it off
Get a chair of some sort
Hang new light fixture and curtains
Make previously said curtains
Wash and put away all baby clothes, etc
Organize all other baby items (diapers, bottles, etc)
For my next post, I think I'm going to show you guys all what things I've been keeping myself busy with these last few weeks/months (and how none of them are completed). Maybe I'll even have a pic or 2 of the nursery, painted at least. Not sure if I'll be able to get that up before Thursday, in which case I want to say "Happy Thanksgiving" to all of you in the US! Those of you not in the States or not celebrating Thanksgiving, I still invite you to stuff your faces full of delicious foods and lounge around as much as possible!
So, overall, I'd have to say the shower wasn't all that bad. Awkward and uncomfortable at times, but not too horrible. There were points were I felt kinda lost and useless, standing/sitting around while other people were playing the games and getting ready, etc.
My SIL and friend really out did themselves, though. It was a good bit "theme-y" but at least the theme was fall/pumpkins and not something obnoxious like diaper pins/rattles, etc. I don't personally have any photos as I was a bit occupied putting on my smiley face and pretending that this is just a commonplace pregnancy and I don't have a care in the world. All the relatives over 35 that attended insisted on belly rubbings though. Definitely some of the awkward times there.
The food was really good and was predominantly made by the friend-that-helped-decorate's boyfriend. Yum! I just mostly grazed. The anxiety kinda killed my appetite. I experienced most of the food as leftovers that SIL insisted we take home. Left-overs included about 1lb of meatballs, a pint of spinach dip, a quart of chicken and grape salad, 1 dozen cupcakes (mostly carrot cake, but a few chocolate ones too), brownie "cake" pops, misc candies and some pretzels.
Games weren't too horrible. There was the obligatory "How big is my belly" game, a diaper raffle, and "guess the mystery baby items". I prefaced the belly sizing game with the fact that I won't hold it against anyone if they make their length of "belly tape" crazy long. I'm not huge and I know it. I'm comfortable with my size so a silly piece of plastic that is 5ft long isn't going to send me into hysterics, hiding in the bathroom. Two people tied for the game though. My super-fertile friend from work with the practically 1yo little girl who is my cloth diaper mentor and my friend E who is (still) TTC and recently started going to the RE practice that we saw. I really wanted E to get the prize b/c Fertile Friend won the diaper raffle. Unfortunately, SIL had a guess the number tie-breaker instead. It was fair, but I really wanted E to have won! I got to keep all the baby items from the Mystery game which I not too surprisingly got all of them correct when we did the answers.
Then it was presents time. Holy freaking Cow! I have never opened that many gifts at any one point in my entire life before. Not even for our wedding! It was like a never ending pile of gifts and cards and tissue paper! We got some awesome stuff from our registry. Lots of practical items (which I love!). We even had a few crafty friends and families make us some things like a bib, onesie, pants/sweater outfit and blanket. I almost cried at those, but was able to hold it together. My MIL even brought the travel system she purchased for use, assembled and all. She out did herself b/c she even got it in the color I truly fell in love with, but couldn't find a link for anywhere but the maker's website. Sneaky husband apparently had a hand in that.
And then it was time that things were wrapping up. Holy crap again! It had been 3.5hrs! All in all, there were about 20 people there (10 of which were relatives). I didn't expect so many people to show up at all! As the Boy said, "Guess people actually really like me" (or they just really like things baby related). It was awesome having the Boy there the whole time, even if he wasn't actively participating or spending time with many people.
I can't remember if it was that evening or the next day, but I sent E a message to let her know how greatly I appreciated her attending and how much it meant to me. She said she had a great time and loved it. She is a better woman than I because I know how hard and sucky showers are when you keep getting met with disappointment in your own baby-endeavors. On top of that, she has just started her period a few days earlier. Bless her heart, she has such a better outlook on things than I did at that point. I keep thinking about it, and when the time comes (hopefully soon), I think I will offer to throw E a shower...
So grand summation of the baby shower - Not bad and almost enjoyable, but makes me really glad I only had 1 big shower and not several of medium showers (like my 2w-behind me friend whose 4th shower is this afternoon). Sure, you'd get more things that way, but that is sooo not my cup or tea! I just enjoyed having all my family and friends there supporting us and being excited for us. It also kinda lit a fire under my bum to get things cranking away in preps for baby. We had started painting the nursery, but last weekend upped the gears a bit. As I type this, the room has 2 coats of the 2 primary colors, and I'm about to start on one of the accent stripes. Also, I've gone through some of the items we've received previously and sorted/organized them as well. We still have quite a ways to go... 7w should be plenty of time for that, right? Especially with Thanksgiving and Christmas tucked in there...
List of things left to do for nursery:
Buy/decorate baby dresser
Assemble crib once my parents drop it off
Get a chair of some sort
Hang new light fixture and curtains
Make previously said curtains
Wash and put away all baby clothes, etc
Organize all other baby items (diapers, bottles, etc)
For my next post, I think I'm going to show you guys all what things I've been keeping myself busy with these last few weeks/months (and how none of them are completed). Maybe I'll even have a pic or 2 of the nursery, painted at least. Not sure if I'll be able to get that up before Thursday, in which case I want to say "Happy Thanksgiving" to all of you in the US! Those of you not in the States or not celebrating Thanksgiving, I still invite you to stuff your faces full of delicious foods and lounge around as much as possible!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Pre-shower Thoughts
(Hey! A post 2 weeks in a row!)
So...
Yeah...
Tomorrow is the big day.
MY baby shower.
That just sounds so odd and crazy. Surreal and unreal. But that's what my Goo.gle calendar says and the little invitation on my cluttered "desk" in the kitchen leads me to believe. My mom and dad are on their way down here to spend today and tomorrow with us. According to my previously-PG SIL, 20 people have RSVP'd.
TWENTY. TWO. ZERO.
That seems like a ton of people to me! Sure 10 of them are just our family, but still... I guess people actually like me. That or they just like free food and talking babies. I think it's a coin toss there. We have already received a few gifts by mail for those that are unable to attend due to distance. It's kinda scary how much baby stuff is in our house right now and how much will be here by the end of tomorrow.
So I really want to explore my thoughts and feelings pre-shower and then compare them with post-shower. I feel very strange about it all. I'm a bit more apprehensive than I think most moms-to-be are about it. I hate being the center of attention and having a huge fuss and deal made over me. I don't know how comfortable I'll be talking about my pregnancy and baby plans etc with people. I'm far more relaxed to talk about our infertility than our current success for some odd reason. There's also the fact that practically everyone has advice and recommendations about these last few weeks and beyond. While I appreciate that they are trying to "help", I'm just taking things as they come. We don't so much have a plan as we have "preferences" (thanks to our birth class teach for that term!). Our journey this far has taught me that nothing is predictable, and you really can't plan life. It does what it wants for the most part and you just have to roll with the punches.
Also, I'm worried that lots of people are going to try to be touching my belly at the shower. This totally weirds me out, big time! I love touching my belly. I love the Boy touching it. I'm awkward with our parents touching it. I haven't had anyone else try to touch it, so I don't know how I'll respond. I really don't want to punch someone when/if they try to rub it. I think that would make me a horrible honoree.
The Boy keeps telling me just to think of it as we'll be getting lots of free stuff from people. True, but I feel odd when people give and buy things just for me. I keep trying to think of it more as them doing that for Baby and not me, which helps some. It is still weird for me to think that people are buying stuff and getting all excited for this giant lump in (on?) my abdomen. Plus, it brings me back to the belly-touching phobia.
My ideal shower would be more like a cook-out get-together. People just come over and hang out and talk about anything and everything. There are dudes and chicks, food and drinking and just general good times being had. There would be no "games" and no really decorations. No cutesy and froo-froo items or activities. Just chilling and "Oh yeah, I happen to be pregnant" in the background. While I didn't have my SIL label the shower as co-ed, guy are free to attend if they wanted. Shockingly, none of the male counterparts want to attend! If I had said co-ed, I think some of them may have been guilted into coming by their Sigs. I'm well aware that 99.99% of guys do NOT want to be at baby showers. And I totally understand why. They are the same reasons why I do NOT like being at baby showers! Far too many females talking about babies, being pregnant, getting pregnant, those looks of "Honey, don't you just want (another) one of those?" and "How cute is X, Y, Z!" Those things translates into "Blah blah blah blah blah" and "Warning! Danger! Danger, Will Robinson" to most guys.
Lastly, I think the shower brings up a huge fear, one I'm sure that most women that have battled infertility have. What if we get all this stuff and everyone is all excited and worked up, but there doesn't end up being a baby at the end? What if something happens between now and coming home from the hospital? What do you do with all the baby stuff that has filled your house and life? That and it is starting to make things far too real for me. It seems to no longer be "This is cute for a baby" and "Baby would like that". Things are morphing into "Baby will be using this" and "Baby will be wearing these" and "Baby needs this and that".
Sh!t is gettin' real, yo! We are both starting to get really excited about it all. I'm actually giddy about a few things. Plus, I'm starting to plan and get ahead of myself with things. Things like Maternity leave. We've been putting off most of the post-birth necessities like finding a Pediatrician and figuring out child-care for when I go back to work. Now, we are feeling the crunch to get these things done; the pressure of the limited amount of time until they are going to be needed. All that keeps making that big FEAR pop up in my head more and more.
I'm sure that these feelings are completely normal given everything to date, but it sucks. I'd really just love to be able to let myself get and stay excited. Stupid loss and IF! Well, Here's to the home stretch!!
** I wrote this all up yesterday, but forgot to hit post! Thank you auto-save!
So...
Yeah...
Tomorrow is the big day.
MY baby shower.
That just sounds so odd and crazy. Surreal and unreal. But that's what my Goo.gle calendar says and the little invitation on my cluttered "desk" in the kitchen leads me to believe. My mom and dad are on their way down here to spend today and tomorrow with us. According to my previously-PG SIL, 20 people have RSVP'd.
TWENTY. TWO. ZERO.
That seems like a ton of people to me! Sure 10 of them are just our family, but still... I guess people actually like me. That or they just like free food and talking babies. I think it's a coin toss there. We have already received a few gifts by mail for those that are unable to attend due to distance. It's kinda scary how much baby stuff is in our house right now and how much will be here by the end of tomorrow.
So I really want to explore my thoughts and feelings pre-shower and then compare them with post-shower. I feel very strange about it all. I'm a bit more apprehensive than I think most moms-to-be are about it. I hate being the center of attention and having a huge fuss and deal made over me. I don't know how comfortable I'll be talking about my pregnancy and baby plans etc with people. I'm far more relaxed to talk about our infertility than our current success for some odd reason. There's also the fact that practically everyone has advice and recommendations about these last few weeks and beyond. While I appreciate that they are trying to "help", I'm just taking things as they come. We don't so much have a plan as we have "preferences" (thanks to our birth class teach for that term!). Our journey this far has taught me that nothing is predictable, and you really can't plan life. It does what it wants for the most part and you just have to roll with the punches.
Also, I'm worried that lots of people are going to try to be touching my belly at the shower. This totally weirds me out, big time! I love touching my belly. I love the Boy touching it. I'm awkward with our parents touching it. I haven't had anyone else try to touch it, so I don't know how I'll respond. I really don't want to punch someone when/if they try to rub it. I think that would make me a horrible honoree.
The Boy keeps telling me just to think of it as we'll be getting lots of free stuff from people. True, but I feel odd when people give and buy things just for me. I keep trying to think of it more as them doing that for Baby and not me, which helps some. It is still weird for me to think that people are buying stuff and getting all excited for this giant lump in (on?) my abdomen. Plus, it brings me back to the belly-touching phobia.
My ideal shower would be more like a cook-out get-together. People just come over and hang out and talk about anything and everything. There are dudes and chicks, food and drinking and just general good times being had. There would be no "games" and no really decorations. No cutesy and froo-froo items or activities. Just chilling and "Oh yeah, I happen to be pregnant" in the background. While I didn't have my SIL label the shower as co-ed, guy are free to attend if they wanted. Shockingly, none of the male counterparts want to attend! If I had said co-ed, I think some of them may have been guilted into coming by their Sigs. I'm well aware that 99.99% of guys do NOT want to be at baby showers. And I totally understand why. They are the same reasons why I do NOT like being at baby showers! Far too many females talking about babies, being pregnant, getting pregnant, those looks of "Honey, don't you just want (another) one of those?" and "How cute is X, Y, Z!" Those things translates into "Blah blah blah blah blah" and "Warning! Danger! Danger, Will Robinson" to most guys.
Lastly, I think the shower brings up a huge fear, one I'm sure that most women that have battled infertility have. What if we get all this stuff and everyone is all excited and worked up, but there doesn't end up being a baby at the end? What if something happens between now and coming home from the hospital? What do you do with all the baby stuff that has filled your house and life? That and it is starting to make things far too real for me. It seems to no longer be "This is cute for a baby" and "Baby would like that". Things are morphing into "Baby will be using this" and "Baby will be wearing these" and "Baby needs this and that".
Sh!t is gettin' real, yo! We are both starting to get really excited about it all. I'm actually giddy about a few things. Plus, I'm starting to plan and get ahead of myself with things. Things like Maternity leave. We've been putting off most of the post-birth necessities like finding a Pediatrician and figuring out child-care for when I go back to work. Now, we are feeling the crunch to get these things done; the pressure of the limited amount of time until they are going to be needed. All that keeps making that big FEAR pop up in my head more and more.
I'm sure that these feelings are completely normal given everything to date, but it sucks. I'd really just love to be able to let myself get and stay excited. Stupid loss and IF! Well, Here's to the home stretch!!
** I wrote this all up yesterday, but forgot to hit post! Thank you auto-save!
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