Ok, so it's been a week since my shower. A very busy, sleep-deprived kind of week.
So, overall, I'd have to say the shower wasn't all that bad. Awkward and uncomfortable at times, but not too horrible. There were points were I felt kinda lost and useless, standing/sitting around while other people were playing the games and getting ready, etc.
My SIL and friend really out did themselves, though. It was a good bit "theme-y" but at least the theme was fall/pumpkins and not something obnoxious like diaper pins/rattles, etc. I don't personally have any photos as I was a bit occupied putting on my smiley face and pretending that this is just a commonplace pregnancy and I don't have a care in the world. All the relatives over 35 that attended insisted on belly rubbings though. Definitely some of the awkward times there.
The food was really good and was predominantly made by the friend-that-helped-decorate's boyfriend. Yum! I just mostly grazed. The anxiety kinda killed my appetite. I experienced most of the food as leftovers that SIL insisted we take home. Left-overs included about 1lb of meatballs, a pint of spinach dip, a quart of chicken and grape salad, 1 dozen cupcakes (mostly carrot cake, but a few chocolate ones too), brownie "cake" pops, misc candies and some pretzels.
Games weren't too horrible. There was the obligatory "How big is my belly" game, a diaper raffle, and "guess the mystery baby items". I prefaced the belly sizing game with the fact that I won't hold it against anyone if they make their length of "belly tape" crazy long. I'm not huge and I know it. I'm comfortable with my size so a silly piece of plastic that is 5ft long isn't going to send me into hysterics, hiding in the bathroom. Two people tied for the game though. My super-fertile friend from work with the practically 1yo little girl who is my cloth diaper mentor and my friend E who is (still) TTC and recently started going to the RE practice that we saw. I really wanted E to get the prize b/c Fertile Friend won the diaper raffle. Unfortunately, SIL had a guess the number tie-breaker instead. It was fair, but I really wanted E to have won! I got to keep all the baby items from the Mystery game which I not too surprisingly got all of them correct when we did the answers.
Then it was presents time. Holy freaking Cow! I have never opened that many gifts at any one point in my entire life before. Not even for our wedding! It was like a never ending pile of gifts and cards and tissue paper! We got some awesome stuff from our registry. Lots of practical items (which I love!). We even had a few crafty friends and families make us some things like a bib, onesie, pants/sweater outfit and blanket. I almost cried at those, but was able to hold it together. My MIL even brought the travel system she purchased for use, assembled and all. She out did herself b/c she even got it in the color I truly fell in love with, but couldn't find a link for anywhere but the maker's website. Sneaky husband apparently had a hand in that.
And then it was time that things were wrapping up. Holy crap again! It had been 3.5hrs! All in all, there were about 20 people there (10 of which were relatives). I didn't expect so many people to show up at all! As the Boy said, "Guess people actually really like me" (or they just really like things baby related). It was awesome having the Boy there the whole time, even if he wasn't actively participating or spending time with many people.
I can't remember if it was that evening or the next day, but I sent E a message to let her know how greatly I appreciated her attending and how much it meant to me. She said she had a great time and loved it. She is a better woman than I because I know how hard and sucky showers are when you keep getting met with disappointment in your own baby-endeavors. On top of that, she has just started her period a few days earlier. Bless her heart, she has such a better outlook on things than I did at that point. I keep thinking about it, and when the time comes (hopefully soon), I think I will offer to throw E a shower...
So grand summation of the baby shower - Not bad and almost enjoyable, but makes me really glad I only had 1 big shower and not several of medium showers (like my 2w-behind me friend whose 4th shower is this afternoon). Sure, you'd get more things that way, but that is sooo not my cup or tea! I just enjoyed having all my family and friends there supporting us and being excited for us. It also kinda lit a fire under my bum to get things cranking away in preps for baby. We had started painting the nursery, but last weekend upped the gears a bit. As I type this, the room has 2 coats of the 2 primary colors, and I'm about to start on one of the accent stripes. Also, I've gone through some of the items we've received previously and sorted/organized them as well. We still have quite a ways to go... 7w should be plenty of time for that, right? Especially with Thanksgiving and Christmas tucked in there...
List of things left to do for nursery:
Buy/decorate baby dresser
Assemble crib once my parents drop it off
Get a chair of some sort
Hang new light fixture and curtains
Make previously said curtains
Wash and put away all baby clothes, etc
Organize all other baby items (diapers, bottles, etc)
For my next post, I think I'm going to show you guys all what things I've been keeping myself busy with these last few weeks/months (and how none of them are completed). Maybe I'll even have a pic or 2 of the nursery, painted at least. Not sure if I'll be able to get that up before Thursday, in which case I want to say "Happy Thanksgiving" to all of you in the US! Those of you not in the States or not celebrating Thanksgiving, I still invite you to stuff your faces full of delicious foods and lounge around as much as possible!
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Random Run-down #2
I think I'm going to start doing these "Run-downs" periodically when lots of little things go on, but nothing worth a huge, full post on their own.
Monday - I felt a true, unmistakable, genuine baby movement after dinner. Since then, they've only gotten more noticeable. I can pinpoint the common times of day that the little bugger is most likely awake and practicing it's baby-fu (mid-morning and after dinner are the most active times). It's a pretty incredible feeling. Also, completely weird and mildly disturbing at the same time. It's crazy.
Tuesday - My youngest sister "moved in" and will be staying with us for a bit. She's relocating from the town she went to college in to this area and needed a temporary lay-over. Almost 1 week in and so far so good. We haven't had the best track record/experience with letting family (BIL) and friends stay with us, but here's hoping things continue to go well. Plus, she likes to cook and bake. Oh and totally loves the dogs (Hello! In-town pet sitter!).
Wednesday - found out from my mom that my dad was laid off from his job. He'd been with the company for 15yr. They needed to cut some expenditures and the more senior supervisor (not managers mind you) seemed to have taken the brunt of the pink slips. While that completely and totally sucks, it means he can find a new job (hopefully soon) that he likes better. My parents will be fine financially as he gets a week paid for each year he worked and all his stored up PTO. Their only real worry right now is health insurance. The only exciting bit from this all is that there may be a chance of them moving to this area as well!! I would be pretty stoked about that!
Thursday - Wellness appt for the pups! They are "prime" examples of happy, healthy pooches! "Great dogs." I've apparently done a great job with them as they are "so well behaved and look fantastic!" Our almost 6yr lab mix, Mazzy, has only the tiniest hits of tarter on her teeth and the only health problems they have are Cricket's joint issues and Mazzy's chronic ear infections. They are such great dogs that they "volunteered" to participate in a study at the Vet school. I felt kinda bad for them as it required vaginal swabs, but they were champs like always. I totally felt for them though.
Friday - Not so great work day. Was straight up lied to by the newest co-worker. I had to clean out a waterbath and scrub it because it was completely gross and smelly. Apparently, it was all clear the day before when she put our stuff in it. That and I've noticed how much time she spends talking without working, talks on her phone, does non-work related stuff on the computer (which we are "prohibited" from doing), and just all-around wasting time. She's pissing me off.
Saturday - The Boy finally was able to feel The Baby move/kick! Each time he's tried, it stops or he only notices my GI movement. His reaction was classic. Que eyebrow quirk, a smirk and a bit of a giggle/chuckle. I was practically in tears, I was so touched, and he's only mildly amused. Oh well. We went ot the $1.50 theater and saw Pir,ates of the Cari.bbean 4. Good movie. Plus, I stayed awake through it all, didn't have to leave to pee, and was comfortable in the theater without a jacket on.
We ended our evening with a pseudo-birthday grill out at a friend's house. It was great to see them all again. As they were Boy's friends that I inherited, he was in charge of telling them all. Oops. It was still a bit of a surprise to quite a number of them. the fact that I'm almost 18w was pretty much a surprise to everyone though! The food was absolutely delicious! Chips and mango salsa. Veggies and dip. Cheese (with the mango salsa). Black bean and corn salad. Caprese soaking in balsamic. Grilled jerked chicken. Mac & cheese (by yours truly). Homemade Pina Colada ice cream! Pecan cinnamon swirls. All 3 of us thoroughly enjoyed it!
I'm not looking forward to my dental appt on Tuesday morning. I'll have to inform them I'm pregnant and answer the hygienist's barrage of questions. With instruments and a spit sucker in my mouth. I hope they don't yell at me for not flossing...
Then, Thursday is the big day. THE Anatomy Scan. With a perinatologist. I really hope all the baby's structures are just as they should be, and its little heart is perfect. I'm also hoping that the little one is modest and won't have all the "goods" in full display. We shall see. I can't wait!
Monday - I felt a true, unmistakable, genuine baby movement after dinner. Since then, they've only gotten more noticeable. I can pinpoint the common times of day that the little bugger is most likely awake and practicing it's baby-fu (mid-morning and after dinner are the most active times). It's a pretty incredible feeling. Also, completely weird and mildly disturbing at the same time. It's crazy.
Tuesday - My youngest sister "moved in" and will be staying with us for a bit. She's relocating from the town she went to college in to this area and needed a temporary lay-over. Almost 1 week in and so far so good. We haven't had the best track record/experience with letting family (BIL) and friends stay with us, but here's hoping things continue to go well. Plus, she likes to cook and bake. Oh and totally loves the dogs (Hello! In-town pet sitter!).
Wednesday - found out from my mom that my dad was laid off from his job. He'd been with the company for 15yr. They needed to cut some expenditures and the more senior supervisor (not managers mind you) seemed to have taken the brunt of the pink slips. While that completely and totally sucks, it means he can find a new job (hopefully soon) that he likes better. My parents will be fine financially as he gets a week paid for each year he worked and all his stored up PTO. Their only real worry right now is health insurance. The only exciting bit from this all is that there may be a chance of them moving to this area as well!! I would be pretty stoked about that!
Thursday - Wellness appt for the pups! They are "prime" examples of happy, healthy pooches! "Great dogs." I've apparently done a great job with them as they are "so well behaved and look fantastic!" Our almost 6yr lab mix, Mazzy, has only the tiniest hits of tarter on her teeth and the only health problems they have are Cricket's joint issues and Mazzy's chronic ear infections. They are such great dogs that they "volunteered" to participate in a study at the Vet school. I felt kinda bad for them as it required vaginal swabs, but they were champs like always. I totally felt for them though.
Friday - Not so great work day. Was straight up lied to by the newest co-worker. I had to clean out a waterbath and scrub it because it was completely gross and smelly. Apparently, it was all clear the day before when she put our stuff in it. That and I've noticed how much time she spends talking without working, talks on her phone, does non-work related stuff on the computer (which we are "prohibited" from doing), and just all-around wasting time. She's pissing me off.
Saturday - The Boy finally was able to feel The Baby move/kick! Each time he's tried, it stops or he only notices my GI movement. His reaction was classic. Que eyebrow quirk, a smirk and a bit of a giggle/chuckle. I was practically in tears, I was so touched, and he's only mildly amused. Oh well. We went ot the $1.50 theater and saw Pir,ates of the Cari.bbean 4. Good movie. Plus, I stayed awake through it all, didn't have to leave to pee, and was comfortable in the theater without a jacket on.
We ended our evening with a pseudo-birthday grill out at a friend's house. It was great to see them all again. As they were Boy's friends that I inherited, he was in charge of telling them all. Oops. It was still a bit of a surprise to quite a number of them. the fact that I'm almost 18w was pretty much a surprise to everyone though! The food was absolutely delicious! Chips and mango salsa. Veggies and dip. Cheese (with the mango salsa). Black bean and corn salad. Caprese soaking in balsamic. Grilled jerked chicken. Mac & cheese (by yours truly). Homemade Pina Colada ice cream! Pecan cinnamon swirls. All 3 of us thoroughly enjoyed it!
I'm not looking forward to my dental appt on Tuesday morning. I'll have to inform them I'm pregnant and answer the hygienist's barrage of questions. With instruments and a spit sucker in my mouth. I hope they don't yell at me for not flossing...
Then, Thursday is the big day. THE Anatomy Scan. With a perinatologist. I really hope all the baby's structures are just as they should be, and its little heart is perfect. I'm also hoping that the little one is modest and won't have all the "goods" in full display. We shall see. I can't wait!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Spilling the Beans, all over the floor
I did it.
I took the plunge and announce this pregnancy to the work folks. I went back and forth on the best way to do it. Email? In person for each person? Just randomly bring it up? Just show up wearing clothes that show off my barely-there belly? Just keep waiting until it is obvious to everyone?
The email thing wouldn't work because, well, everything sent/received through work email is publicly accessible. I'd feel weird knowing some random person is aware of my pregnancy and I don't even know they exist. I really almost went with the wait until even a blind person could tell I was pregnant, but these people are also friends. That would be a bit hurtful to me if I was them.
Then, technology epiphany. The one time social networking is beneficial in sharing news discreetly. Enter the FB private message. I lumped them all together in a message, so everyone would be told theoretically at the same time. It went like this - "I figured it was about time to fill you all in if you haven't already figured things out. Boy and I are happy to announce that we are expecting. We haven't gone fully public with this news just yet, so I would greatly appreciate it if no one posts anything about it just yet on my wall (or mention things at work in the presence of others)." Simple, straight-forward, and drives home the fact that I don't want everyone and their mother being told about it.
I wrote that up yesterday morning and enter the next dilemma. Do I send it now before work or wait until it's the weekend, and I don't have to see anyone until Monday? After agonizing over the when for about 5min, I just hit send. I pulled up my Big Girl Underwear (tm), just freaking sent it and headed off to start the work day.
I'm not even in the lab for 10min when one of the grad students run up to me and exclaims how excited and happy she is for us, how great the news is, "Congrats", and gives me a big hug.
In front of the other PI in the lab, who I was going to tell in person later that day.
Que me being utterly flabbergasted and caught unawares. I could barely mutter a "thanks". I could see and feel the PI watching and wondering what the heck was going on there. So, awkward convo #1. I had to go over and tell her right then or avoid her until later. She has suspicions it was something like that since my earlier chat about having a "medical issue" and needing lots of Dr appts. Thankfully, she's British and things like that aren't asked until the info is volunteered. She was very happy for us and understanding about things.
Next came the 2 other Research assistants in the lab that obviously hadn't checked FB that morning. To prevent another super awkward situation like the last one, I told them 1 at a time. Apparently, they both also had suspicions. I'm not sure how the new girl picked up on my behavior changes as they started pretty much when she did. It was uncomfortable telling people in person to say the least. I don't really like discussing things like that, especially not in a professional environment. So I pretty much said just that and how I don't need any special treatment or considerations in my abilities at this time. If there is something I don't feel safe or comfortable doing, I will let someone know and delegate that task to another lab member.
It was a bit funny, though, as some of them thought that my new shirts and sweater that I got back around the same time as I found out were "indicators" of my condition. Completely coincidental. I just needed new shirts and the sweater was to replace my aging hoodies, which were old and a bit informal for my new title in the lab.
It was nice to not have to play things off as something else or avoid answering questions. Now, I can chug my apple juice without curious stares or hide in the back corner of the lab waiting for a bout of nausea to pass. I did get some criticism on waiting so long. Most were shocked to learn that I am almost 15w. They were thinking a lot earlier on than that!
Awkward convo#2 was done over text message. One of the grad students was out of town but wanted to congratulate me. She "knew" something was up and had a "hunch" it was that I'm pregnant. Somehow, she knew it has been a rough year for us. That somehow, I'm 99.99% sure, is the now ex-co-worker that was on maternity leave, after accidentally getting pregnant with her boyfriend and not realizing it for a month or 2, before leaving the lab. She was the only one that knew we were undergoing treatment and about the miscarriage. Otherwise, this year has been really good to us. Oh well. People talk. A lot. It actually reassured me that waiting was the right decision. At least now, I'm getting comfortable in my status, so if word spreads, I'll be better able to handle it now than before.
As for other good, but not super close friends: the Boy was in-charge of his friends since college. He sent them text messages. They were surprised but happy for us. Of course, they joked about him being a dad and how I was a brave, brave woman to bear his offspring. Another group of friends will be informed this evening when we attend a cookout/bonfire hosted by our friends that are just a week or 2 behind me in her pregnancy. The surprise, not-trying-not-preventing ones that told us on my Bday. It should be interesting.
Here's hoping this doesn't mean I'll be getting bombarded by baby-talk from all directions. I don't want to become just what is going on in my abdomen in all facets of my life. Sigh. The word is out, and there is no going back now.
I took the plunge and announce this pregnancy to the work folks. I went back and forth on the best way to do it. Email? In person for each person? Just randomly bring it up? Just show up wearing clothes that show off my barely-there belly? Just keep waiting until it is obvious to everyone?
The email thing wouldn't work because, well, everything sent/received through work email is publicly accessible. I'd feel weird knowing some random person is aware of my pregnancy and I don't even know they exist. I really almost went with the wait until even a blind person could tell I was pregnant, but these people are also friends. That would be a bit hurtful to me if I was them.
Then, technology epiphany. The one time social networking is beneficial in sharing news discreetly. Enter the FB private message. I lumped them all together in a message, so everyone would be told theoretically at the same time. It went like this - "I figured it was about time to fill you all in if you haven't already figured things out. Boy and I are happy to announce that we are expecting. We haven't gone fully public with this news just yet, so I would greatly appreciate it if no one posts anything about it just yet on my wall (or mention things at work in the presence of others)." Simple, straight-forward, and drives home the fact that I don't want everyone and their mother being told about it.
I wrote that up yesterday morning and enter the next dilemma. Do I send it now before work or wait until it's the weekend, and I don't have to see anyone until Monday? After agonizing over the when for about 5min, I just hit send. I pulled up my Big Girl Underwear (tm), just freaking sent it and headed off to start the work day.
I'm not even in the lab for 10min when one of the grad students run up to me and exclaims how excited and happy she is for us, how great the news is, "Congrats", and gives me a big hug.
In front of the other PI in the lab, who I was going to tell in person later that day.
Que me being utterly flabbergasted and caught unawares. I could barely mutter a "thanks". I could see and feel the PI watching and wondering what the heck was going on there. So, awkward convo #1. I had to go over and tell her right then or avoid her until later. She has suspicions it was something like that since my earlier chat about having a "medical issue" and needing lots of Dr appts. Thankfully, she's British and things like that aren't asked until the info is volunteered. She was very happy for us and understanding about things.
Next came the 2 other Research assistants in the lab that obviously hadn't checked FB that morning. To prevent another super awkward situation like the last one, I told them 1 at a time. Apparently, they both also had suspicions. I'm not sure how the new girl picked up on my behavior changes as they started pretty much when she did. It was uncomfortable telling people in person to say the least. I don't really like discussing things like that, especially not in a professional environment. So I pretty much said just that and how I don't need any special treatment or considerations in my abilities at this time. If there is something I don't feel safe or comfortable doing, I will let someone know and delegate that task to another lab member.
It was a bit funny, though, as some of them thought that my new shirts and sweater that I got back around the same time as I found out were "indicators" of my condition. Completely coincidental. I just needed new shirts and the sweater was to replace my aging hoodies, which were old and a bit informal for my new title in the lab.
It was nice to not have to play things off as something else or avoid answering questions. Now, I can chug my apple juice without curious stares or hide in the back corner of the lab waiting for a bout of nausea to pass. I did get some criticism on waiting so long. Most were shocked to learn that I am almost 15w. They were thinking a lot earlier on than that!
Awkward convo#2 was done over text message. One of the grad students was out of town but wanted to congratulate me. She "knew" something was up and had a "hunch" it was that I'm pregnant. Somehow, she knew it has been a rough year for us. That somehow, I'm 99.99% sure, is the now ex-co-worker that was on maternity leave, after accidentally getting pregnant with her boyfriend and not realizing it for a month or 2, before leaving the lab. She was the only one that knew we were undergoing treatment and about the miscarriage. Otherwise, this year has been really good to us. Oh well. People talk. A lot. It actually reassured me that waiting was the right decision. At least now, I'm getting comfortable in my status, so if word spreads, I'll be better able to handle it now than before.
As for other good, but not super close friends: the Boy was in-charge of his friends since college. He sent them text messages. They were surprised but happy for us. Of course, they joked about him being a dad and how I was a brave, brave woman to bear his offspring. Another group of friends will be informed this evening when we attend a cookout/bonfire hosted by our friends that are just a week or 2 behind me in her pregnancy. The surprise, not-trying-not-preventing ones that told us on my Bday. It should be interesting.
Here's hoping this doesn't mean I'll be getting bombarded by baby-talk from all directions. I don't want to become just what is going on in my abdomen in all facets of my life. Sigh. The word is out, and there is no going back now.
Monday, July 11, 2011
A Rant to the Masses
I realized over this weekend the whole range of reasons why I've not really gone "public" about my pregnancy. There are definitely several different reasons, and some of them I know you ladies, PG or on your way there, would agree with wholeheartedly.
In the beginning, one of the main reasons was fear. I was afraid to tell people. I didn't want to put the word out and have to retract it all again in a week or two if things crashed this 2nd time around. It was fear and worry that I might somehow jinx it. I know that is absolutely ridiculous, but I probably would have done all sorts of "good luck" charms and positive incantations if it meant I'd be bringing home a real, live baby at the end. Now that I'm in the for-real 2nd trimester regardless of the website I check, the fear, while not completely gone, is greatly diminished. Several good scans, the constant heartbeat on the doppler, nothing at this moment is giving me any reason to think this shouldn't work out in the end. (Here's hoping!!) I'm starting to feel a bit more relaxed about things in general.
Second, it's not really my thing to be the center of attention or to call attention to myself. I don't like LOTS of fuss to be made over me. You tell anyone really good news and there is bound to be a big to-do about it. When that news involves babies - forget about it being a low-key thing! There are very few people that can just leave it at a "Congratulations!" Most want about 1,000 specific details about the when's, where's, who's and how's. Not my style in the least.
But the biggest reason I've not been spreading the news like butter on toast? I don't want to talk about pregnancy, being pregnant, or babies everyday, all day. Crazy, I know, but it's not the only thing going on in my life right now. Sure, it is probably the most exciting, but there isn't much to update each and every week. Yup, still pregnant. Yup, still feeling sick. Nope, no real "baby bump" just yet. No, we haven't picked out names. I don't have any inklings about it being a boy or girl or purple, 3-eyed, tree slug.
Parents. Other family members. Friends. Anyone that I've told so far. If I spend any decent about of time around any of them, about 80% of the conversation is centered around my uterus and what will hopefully be coming out of it in January. I don't like talking about myself that much to begin with (see my Second up there). I REALLY don't like talking about my bodily functions and private parts with everyone and anyone. I'm alright with sharing this info and parts with the medical profession. It's expected and kinda required. I do not need to nor want to discuss these with people I actually know and see on a regular basis. And I can not forget about all the advice and suggestions and reliving of other people's pregnancies or their sister's husband's cousin's labor story!! Apparently, people think that being pregnant means you not only want to disclose every little thing your own body is doing, but you are just dying to hear about theirs and anyone elses! But at the same time, I can't seem to let them down or disappoint them, so I nod, listen, and reply with some tidbits. Just the usual, generic pregnancy info.
"Gee, my boobs ARE bigger. Thanks for noticing!"
"How crazy is it to think that the baby is the size of some random item from the produce section and moving around in my growing uterus!?"
"Excuse me. Pregnant lady going to the bathroom for the 4th time this afternoon." And to get away from people to have a few moments of peace and quiet. No fetus-talk. No belly rubbings. Just me, my thoughts, a bit of urine and some CM. It ain't pretty, but it's better company than the pregnancy-crazed masses that seem to surround me.
**ps- I haven't really been posting, but I've been keeping up with everyone I was following! I've been having commenting issues and a dying laptop issue to contend with, so I can't always comment or reply to the things I want to! Just know that I'm cheering for you all - be it for good news, that long-awaited BFP, or continued success in your own pregnancy (don't feel pressured to tell me what fruit your baby is this week though!).
In the beginning, one of the main reasons was fear. I was afraid to tell people. I didn't want to put the word out and have to retract it all again in a week or two if things crashed this 2nd time around. It was fear and worry that I might somehow jinx it. I know that is absolutely ridiculous, but I probably would have done all sorts of "good luck" charms and positive incantations if it meant I'd be bringing home a real, live baby at the end. Now that I'm in the for-real 2nd trimester regardless of the website I check, the fear, while not completely gone, is greatly diminished. Several good scans, the constant heartbeat on the doppler, nothing at this moment is giving me any reason to think this shouldn't work out in the end. (Here's hoping!!) I'm starting to feel a bit more relaxed about things in general.
Second, it's not really my thing to be the center of attention or to call attention to myself. I don't like LOTS of fuss to be made over me. You tell anyone really good news and there is bound to be a big to-do about it. When that news involves babies - forget about it being a low-key thing! There are very few people that can just leave it at a "Congratulations!" Most want about 1,000 specific details about the when's, where's, who's and how's. Not my style in the least.
But the biggest reason I've not been spreading the news like butter on toast? I don't want to talk about pregnancy, being pregnant, or babies everyday, all day. Crazy, I know, but it's not the only thing going on in my life right now. Sure, it is probably the most exciting, but there isn't much to update each and every week. Yup, still pregnant. Yup, still feeling sick. Nope, no real "baby bump" just yet. No, we haven't picked out names. I don't have any inklings about it being a boy or girl or purple, 3-eyed, tree slug.
Parents. Other family members. Friends. Anyone that I've told so far. If I spend any decent about of time around any of them, about 80% of the conversation is centered around my uterus and what will hopefully be coming out of it in January. I don't like talking about myself that much to begin with (see my Second up there). I REALLY don't like talking about my bodily functions and private parts with everyone and anyone. I'm alright with sharing this info and parts with the medical profession. It's expected and kinda required. I do not need to nor want to discuss these with people I actually know and see on a regular basis. And I can not forget about all the advice and suggestions and reliving of other people's pregnancies or their sister's husband's cousin's labor story!! Apparently, people think that being pregnant means you not only want to disclose every little thing your own body is doing, but you are just dying to hear about theirs and anyone elses! But at the same time, I can't seem to let them down or disappoint them, so I nod, listen, and reply with some tidbits. Just the usual, generic pregnancy info.
"Gee, my boobs ARE bigger. Thanks for noticing!"
"How crazy is it to think that the baby is the size of some random item from the produce section and moving around in my growing uterus!?"
"Excuse me. Pregnant lady going to the bathroom for the 4th time this afternoon." And to get away from people to have a few moments of peace and quiet. No fetus-talk. No belly rubbings. Just me, my thoughts, a bit of urine and some CM. It ain't pretty, but it's better company than the pregnancy-crazed masses that seem to surround me.
**ps- I haven't really been posting, but I've been keeping up with everyone I was following! I've been having commenting issues and a dying laptop issue to contend with, so I can't always comment or reply to the things I want to! Just know that I'm cheering for you all - be it for good news, that long-awaited BFP, or continued success in your own pregnancy (don't feel pressured to tell me what fruit your baby is this week though!).
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The Reveal (#2)
Alright, I guess it is time to suck things up for a bit and fill everyone in on the news sharing weekend at my parents. I'm just a week late on it. Oh well. Here it is, from the beginning:
I was initially going to head up to my parent's house on Friday morning and just spend the day. This was before I was informed about the get-together the Boy was planning that same evening for my birthday. I had to reschedule with my mom, but she was happier about it because coming up on Sunday meant I was staying overnight and leaving Monday afternoon/early evening. And yes, it would just be me as the Boy had to work Sunday and Monday. It worked out better that I go alone because it meant he would be able to watch Cricket at home rather than us finding someone else to petsit.
Maz and I load up in my car and start the 1.5hr trek. I have my emergency kit of bags and paper towels and my little snack pack of nausea-abating foods. We survived the drive only down half a bottle of ginger ale, a couple packs of captain wafer crackers and 2 packs of sweettarts. Woohoo! Once all the dogs have settled down after the hellos and I've unloaded our things upstairs, Mom and I can finally spend some time catching up.
I bring in her "belated Mother's day" present and she hands me a birthday card. I practically had to beg her to open her gift for 20min before she did. She read the card, in which I had written "Keep your calendar open for January 2012. Love, Me, Boy, and baby." She was puzzled a bit until she saw "baby", looked at me and asked "Really?!". When I nodded, she tossed up the card and gave me a huge hug! Actually, several hugs. I had to prompt her to open the actual gift - 2 onesies with the u/s pic sandwiched between. One had a line of pointy teeth underneath "Little monster" (an inside joke/term of endearment for babies) and the other with a "Hi, my name is Trouble" badge on it. She loved them! When she went to show my dad, who had just woken up (works night shift), he kinda just nodded and gave a "that's nice dear" and "they're a bit small for you don't you think?" before shuffling away to have his coffee.
Two of my 3 sisters with kids in tow came over that evening for my belated birthday dinner, and my mom did the reveal the same as she did for my dad. My older sister was super stoked while my just younger sister seemed a bit unimpressed. My oldest nephew who is at the lovely age of 14 laughed saying I was going to get fat. My 2nd favorite reaction(s) came from my 3yo nephew and 2yo niece (younger sister's). They were told Aunt me was having a baby and just asked "where baby?" to which I replied "in my belly." Periodically that evening, they'd point to my stomach and shout "Baby!"
The majority of both days were spent playing with the little kids and all 3 dogs, talking with my sisters, and hanging with my parents. I'm not sure what it was, but both days the little kids were all about playing with me and even wanted me to sit with them at the kiddie table for dinner. There were a few "close calls" with the nausea, the worst being when my mom took me out to lunch on Sunday. I just couldn't finish my lunch after collecting myself in the ladies' room.
Overall, I think things were too busy to focus much on the nausea and fatigue when you have 3 large dogs, 3 kids under 4y, and about 8 adults buzzing all around you. Plus, there was food laying out almost all day on Monday for the Memorial day cookout we were having. Olives, sweet pickles, and broccoli smothered in onion dip hit the spot until the meal was served. I could really only stomach the potato salad, rolls, and pastrami/pepperoni in the pasta salad.
There was 1 really awkward part, though. After my dad had shaken his groggies, we were talking as he was finishing his 2nd cup of coffee. He muttered "Grandpa, huh..." a few times and then dropped his bombshell - "That means the 2 of ya'll had to have... Ewww!" While it was completely in jest, how do you respond to that!? I mean it is obvious that we had to have had some form of sexual contact for this to happen, but how do you admit that to your dad!? I don't remember what I answered with, but I know I stuttered and stumble over some response.
All in all, a nice, family-filled, busy 2 days. I could totally have used a day to recover from the entire birthday weekend before work on Tuesday, though. I sent the most recent u/s pics from Thursday to both parents, called the youngest sister (she's super excited!), tried to call my grandparents, and Boy called his other 2 brothers. Both moms are anxiously awaiting my permission for them to tell everyone and anyone about their newest grandchild on the way. I've given them them the green light to tell other family members (so I don't have to call the whole world), but I have forbidden any FB sharing. I know they are happy and excited, but I just can't stomach the thought of it being broadcast out on the internet for all to see. I'm scared to tell other friends and pretty much anyone other than immediate family at this point. Once it's out there, it can't be taken back. I am not strong enough to tell the world if anything unfortunate were to happen.
I was initially going to head up to my parent's house on Friday morning and just spend the day. This was before I was informed about the get-together the Boy was planning that same evening for my birthday. I had to reschedule with my mom, but she was happier about it because coming up on Sunday meant I was staying overnight and leaving Monday afternoon/early evening. And yes, it would just be me as the Boy had to work Sunday and Monday. It worked out better that I go alone because it meant he would be able to watch Cricket at home rather than us finding someone else to petsit.
Maz and I load up in my car and start the 1.5hr trek. I have my emergency kit of bags and paper towels and my little snack pack of nausea-abating foods. We survived the drive only down half a bottle of ginger ale, a couple packs of captain wafer crackers and 2 packs of sweettarts. Woohoo! Once all the dogs have settled down after the hellos and I've unloaded our things upstairs, Mom and I can finally spend some time catching up.
I bring in her "belated Mother's day" present and she hands me a birthday card. I practically had to beg her to open her gift for 20min before she did. She read the card, in which I had written "Keep your calendar open for January 2012. Love, Me, Boy, and baby." She was puzzled a bit until she saw "baby", looked at me and asked "Really?!". When I nodded, she tossed up the card and gave me a huge hug! Actually, several hugs. I had to prompt her to open the actual gift - 2 onesies with the u/s pic sandwiched between. One had a line of pointy teeth underneath "Little monster" (an inside joke/term of endearment for babies) and the other with a "Hi, my name is Trouble" badge on it. She loved them! When she went to show my dad, who had just woken up (works night shift), he kinda just nodded and gave a "that's nice dear" and "they're a bit small for you don't you think?" before shuffling away to have his coffee.
Two of my 3 sisters with kids in tow came over that evening for my belated birthday dinner, and my mom did the reveal the same as she did for my dad. My older sister was super stoked while my just younger sister seemed a bit unimpressed. My oldest nephew who is at the lovely age of 14 laughed saying I was going to get fat. My 2nd favorite reaction(s) came from my 3yo nephew and 2yo niece (younger sister's). They were told Aunt me was having a baby and just asked "where baby?" to which I replied "in my belly." Periodically that evening, they'd point to my stomach and shout "Baby!"
The majority of both days were spent playing with the little kids and all 3 dogs, talking with my sisters, and hanging with my parents. I'm not sure what it was, but both days the little kids were all about playing with me and even wanted me to sit with them at the kiddie table for dinner. There were a few "close calls" with the nausea, the worst being when my mom took me out to lunch on Sunday. I just couldn't finish my lunch after collecting myself in the ladies' room.
Overall, I think things were too busy to focus much on the nausea and fatigue when you have 3 large dogs, 3 kids under 4y, and about 8 adults buzzing all around you. Plus, there was food laying out almost all day on Monday for the Memorial day cookout we were having. Olives, sweet pickles, and broccoli smothered in onion dip hit the spot until the meal was served. I could really only stomach the potato salad, rolls, and pastrami/pepperoni in the pasta salad.
There was 1 really awkward part, though. After my dad had shaken his groggies, we were talking as he was finishing his 2nd cup of coffee. He muttered "Grandpa, huh..." a few times and then dropped his bombshell - "That means the 2 of ya'll had to have... Ewww!" While it was completely in jest, how do you respond to that!? I mean it is obvious that we had to have had some form of sexual contact for this to happen, but how do you admit that to your dad!? I don't remember what I answered with, but I know I stuttered and stumble over some response.
All in all, a nice, family-filled, busy 2 days. I could totally have used a day to recover from the entire birthday weekend before work on Tuesday, though. I sent the most recent u/s pics from Thursday to both parents, called the youngest sister (she's super excited!), tried to call my grandparents, and Boy called his other 2 brothers. Both moms are anxiously awaiting my permission for them to tell everyone and anyone about their newest grandchild on the way. I've given them them the green light to tell other family members (so I don't have to call the whole world), but I have forbidden any FB sharing. I know they are happy and excited, but I just can't stomach the thought of it being broadcast out on the internet for all to see. I'm scared to tell other friends and pretty much anyone other than immediate family at this point. Once it's out there, it can't be taken back. I am not strong enough to tell the world if anything unfortunate were to happen.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Birthday Blitz
It's been a great couple of days here. I can honestly say that this has been the best birthday! Happy 28th to me! Here's a quick recap:
Wednesday- a coworker brought in some homemade chocolate cheesecake for me and the lab to enjoy before I left on vacation leave. It was super tasty! I also received the official notice letter of my promotion and raise. A pretty awesome present if you ask me!
Thursday - While I didn't get to really sleep in, I got a sweet, early morning "happy birthday" from the Boy. Then, at 9:45a, we were off to my 1st ever pre-natal appt. My Ob office has an online portal that you can go to and fill out paperwork preemptively to your appt. I had done this, but not all my forms went through apparently After finishing those, I got to pee in a cup for a culture and whatever else they'll be doing with it. Then onto vital checks. My heart rate was normal, blood pressure was lower than usual at 90/54 (normally ~95-100/65-75). I lost a few pounds, but the nurse didn't seem concerned. Then, the nurse got through the history, etc and scheduling and payment/fees stuff. it was fun going over my symptoms with the nurse and the "what to/not to eats" and what I should and shouldn't do at this point.
I could have had another u/s for dating purposes, but I let it slip that I had the one on the 17th at the RE's. Guess I'm just going to have to wait for next weeks! Following all these formalities, I was dropped off at the lab for some blood draw. I LOVE the lab tech at the Ob's!! Every time I've been there, she has been nothing but attentive, kind, caring, and very personable and invested in the patients! This time was no different! She wished me a happy birthday and talked with me about her difficult and long road to her now 15mo son (while taking the required 8 vials of blood). She even gave me a hug before I left the draw room and wished me luck with this pregnancy.
I pretty much spend the rest of the day cleaning house a bit and napping. A great, low key birthday in my book.
Friday - Still didn't get to sleep in and a bit rougher morning, but ended up having lunch with a friend/former coworker who is visiting from out of town for the weekend. It was so nice out so we ate out on the patio of the restaurant. She asked how things have been going in the baby-making dept, and I couldn't lie when she straight out asked if I was pregnant. She was ecstatic for us! We caught up on her life, school, and her love-life. It was nice and again low-key.
After another nap, we started to get things ready for the cookout birthday get-together dinner. Not as many people as we thought were able to make it. It was primarily our friends that watched Cricket the other weekend, B/SIL, her son, and the new baby, and my friend E who I'm fertility mentoring. SIL was a baby-hog, according to the Boy, and didn't let anyone else hold the baby the whole time for one reason or another. We found out that our other friends are also expecting; she's a few weeks behind me. They knew when we picked up Cricket and that explains their odd, surprised reaction- she wanted to say "Me too!" but they weren't quite there yet. Of course, they weren't actually trying, but they weren't preventing either. It's great to have a friend close by to go through pregnancy with these next 7-8m.
E came a bit later and an awkward situation came up. BIL was taking with his step-son about his "new cousin" that will be coming soon. This is exactly what I was worried would happen when telling people. Not them telling other people; them accidentally letting things slip out. I did my best to try to non-nonchalantly get E to join me outside so we could talk. The last thing I wanted was for my news to be blurted out and possibly make her uncomfortable or hurt her. As soon as we were outside, she asked "Who is pregnant? Is it you?" Again, I can't lie when asked directly by people that know what we've been going through and actually care. She was very happy and excited. I'm hoping it was all genuine. I would hate for her to have to put on the fake happy for me. We chatted after everyone else left about how things were going with them. Her Dr gave her a Rx for clomid, and her husband agreed to do a SA if nothing happens this last "natural" cycle. I'm really hopeful that things happen for them super soon. I unfortunately had to send her home with the delicious smelling wine she brought us.
Also, my fantastic husband made, all on his own, his 1st ever cake just for my birthday. It was absolutely delicious!! Great job, babe!
Wednesday- a coworker brought in some homemade chocolate cheesecake for me and the lab to enjoy before I left on vacation leave. It was super tasty! I also received the official notice letter of my promotion and raise. A pretty awesome present if you ask me!
Thursday - While I didn't get to really sleep in, I got a sweet, early morning "happy birthday" from the Boy. Then, at 9:45a, we were off to my 1st ever pre-natal appt. My Ob office has an online portal that you can go to and fill out paperwork preemptively to your appt. I had done this, but not all my forms went through apparently After finishing those, I got to pee in a cup for a culture and whatever else they'll be doing with it. Then onto vital checks. My heart rate was normal, blood pressure was lower than usual at 90/54 (normally ~95-100/65-75). I lost a few pounds, but the nurse didn't seem concerned. Then, the nurse got through the history, etc and scheduling and payment/fees stuff. it was fun going over my symptoms with the nurse and the "what to/not to eats" and what I should and shouldn't do at this point.
I could have had another u/s for dating purposes, but I let it slip that I had the one on the 17th at the RE's. Guess I'm just going to have to wait for next weeks! Following all these formalities, I was dropped off at the lab for some blood draw. I LOVE the lab tech at the Ob's!! Every time I've been there, she has been nothing but attentive, kind, caring, and very personable and invested in the patients! This time was no different! She wished me a happy birthday and talked with me about her difficult and long road to her now 15mo son (while taking the required 8 vials of blood). She even gave me a hug before I left the draw room and wished me luck with this pregnancy.
I pretty much spend the rest of the day cleaning house a bit and napping. A great, low key birthday in my book.
Friday - Still didn't get to sleep in and a bit rougher morning, but ended up having lunch with a friend/former coworker who is visiting from out of town for the weekend. It was so nice out so we ate out on the patio of the restaurant. She asked how things have been going in the baby-making dept, and I couldn't lie when she straight out asked if I was pregnant. She was ecstatic for us! We caught up on her life, school, and her love-life. It was nice and again low-key.
After another nap, we started to get things ready for the cookout birthday get-together dinner. Not as many people as we thought were able to make it. It was primarily our friends that watched Cricket the other weekend, B/SIL, her son, and the new baby, and my friend E who I'm fertility mentoring. SIL was a baby-hog, according to the Boy, and didn't let anyone else hold the baby the whole time for one reason or another. We found out that our other friends are also expecting; she's a few weeks behind me. They knew when we picked up Cricket and that explains their odd, surprised reaction- she wanted to say "Me too!" but they weren't quite there yet. Of course, they weren't actually trying, but they weren't preventing either. It's great to have a friend close by to go through pregnancy with these next 7-8m.
E came a bit later and an awkward situation came up. BIL was taking with his step-son about his "new cousin" that will be coming soon. This is exactly what I was worried would happen when telling people. Not them telling other people; them accidentally letting things slip out. I did my best to try to non-nonchalantly get E to join me outside so we could talk. The last thing I wanted was for my news to be blurted out and possibly make her uncomfortable or hurt her. As soon as we were outside, she asked "Who is pregnant? Is it you?" Again, I can't lie when asked directly by people that know what we've been going through and actually care. She was very happy and excited. I'm hoping it was all genuine. I would hate for her to have to put on the fake happy for me. We chatted after everyone else left about how things were going with them. Her Dr gave her a Rx for clomid, and her husband agreed to do a SA if nothing happens this last "natural" cycle. I'm really hopeful that things happen for them super soon. I unfortunately had to send her home with the delicious smelling wine she brought us.
Also, my fantastic husband made, all on his own, his 1st ever cake just for my birthday. It was absolutely delicious!! Great job, babe!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
A far too pregnancy-centric post
Happy belated ICLW! I've been a very bad blogger/commenter this go round. There has definitely been a lot going on here, but that really shouldn't be an excuse!
What a whirlwind weekend it was! The reveal to his parents was great! Telling his grandma was good. On a trip to hit the beach for a bit with the PG-friend, filled her in about it. Grandma spilled the beans before we could when his sister and niece came over later on Sunday. PG-SIL and BIL were in disbelief and then excited. The friends watching our Cricket patient for the weekend were surprised, shocked, but happy. Things were good. There were several people that know that we hadn't planned on telling, but thanks to family members, the word was out.
It does seem like the theme for reactions was shock and disbelief at first! Good to know we weren't the only ones dumb-founded! There was far more pregnancy talk than I had expected with the family. I'm not sure why, but I didn't think it would monopolize the conversations all weekend. I guess women that have had kids/been pregnant really like to get all the details about other's pregnancies and symptoms and fill them in on theirs?
Speaking of symptoms, the main ones I'm having are bloating (the jeans have already been unbuttoned!), extreme fatigue to the point that a fell asleep in-the-middle of a conversation, and full-on morning-noon-night sickness. I try not to complain about that one, but it is really hard when nothing makes you feel better and you're at the verge of throwing up, but just not quite there. My foods of choice that don't having me wanting to hurl are the less desirable food groups - fried, greasy, cheesy, salty. I'm sustaining on tacos, enchiladas, tortilla chips, McD hashbrowns, apple juice and attempts with ginger ale.
I have tried all the "tricks" that people have told me - eat before getting out of bed, saltines, ginger ale, always have something on your stomach, protein, starches, what meds to take and when- but all to no real improvement. I don't think it is bad enough to the point to need a Rx for something (yet). I'm just looking for some simple things that can help ease it. I have been informed about a few items that I think are worth checking out - Queasy/Preg drops, sour candies, and pedialyte. Any of you ladies out there have any other good suggestions?!? I'll be asking my Ob about it at my appt on Thursday. I have no problem if I just have to deal with it, but would love it if there was something to ease it a bit. I'm not looking to completely cure it or prevent it, just to bring it down a few notches.
Because I've been feeling so ill, and it is obviously starting to impact my job a bit, I came clean to my boss as well. I didn't want anyone thinking that I'm slacking off when I disappear for stretches of time or just sit at my desk sipping juice or when I come in late or leave early. He was very happy for us, asked if I've told anyone else in the lab (I haven't) and kinda gave me some pointers about what I should and shouldn't do in the lab (which I already knew). He did have to break some confidentiality and fill me in that one of the lab members has Hep B, but he did it with the best intentions. He knows I'd be the 1st person there helping if they got sick or hurt, and he didn't want me to expose "us" to the hazard. He also recommended I give the other PI in the lab a heads up about my delays and breaks, not to tell her I'm pregnant (unless I want to, which I don't) but just to let her know for time/record keeping purposes that I have stuff going on "medically" as he put it.
In other exciting and happy news- I'm an aunt again for the 13th time. PG-SIL went into labor just hours after we left their place on Sunday night, 2 days over her due date. She had feared having to do another cesearian but had given up that the baby was going to decide to come on her own. Surprise! After visiting the 3 of them yesterday evening, her "daydream" of giving birth naturally wasn't quite the glamorous experience she thought it would be. Apparently, contractions can be really painful, labor can be extremely exhausting, and there is lots of bodily fluids involved. Who knew?!? But everyone is doing well, is healthy, happy, and very tired.
Now, I'm just eagerly awaiting my appt on Thursday and the dinner/get together that the Boy is planning to celebrate my birthday (on Friday, the day after). An then on to telling my family this coming weekend. I need to figure out how we'll be cluing them in!
*************
What a whirlwind weekend it was! The reveal to his parents was great! Telling his grandma was good. On a trip to hit the beach for a bit with the PG-friend, filled her in about it. Grandma spilled the beans before we could when his sister and niece came over later on Sunday. PG-SIL and BIL were in disbelief and then excited. The friends watching our Cricket patient for the weekend were surprised, shocked, but happy. Things were good. There were several people that know that we hadn't planned on telling, but thanks to family members, the word was out.
It does seem like the theme for reactions was shock and disbelief at first! Good to know we weren't the only ones dumb-founded! There was far more pregnancy talk than I had expected with the family. I'm not sure why, but I didn't think it would monopolize the conversations all weekend. I guess women that have had kids/been pregnant really like to get all the details about other's pregnancies and symptoms and fill them in on theirs?
Speaking of symptoms, the main ones I'm having are bloating (the jeans have already been unbuttoned!), extreme fatigue to the point that a fell asleep in-the-middle of a conversation, and full-on morning-noon-night sickness. I try not to complain about that one, but it is really hard when nothing makes you feel better and you're at the verge of throwing up, but just not quite there. My foods of choice that don't having me wanting to hurl are the less desirable food groups - fried, greasy, cheesy, salty. I'm sustaining on tacos, enchiladas, tortilla chips, McD hashbrowns, apple juice and attempts with ginger ale.
I have tried all the "tricks" that people have told me - eat before getting out of bed, saltines, ginger ale, always have something on your stomach, protein, starches, what meds to take and when- but all to no real improvement. I don't think it is bad enough to the point to need a Rx for something (yet). I'm just looking for some simple things that can help ease it. I have been informed about a few items that I think are worth checking out - Queasy/Preg drops, sour candies, and pedialyte. Any of you ladies out there have any other good suggestions?!? I'll be asking my Ob about it at my appt on Thursday. I have no problem if I just have to deal with it, but would love it if there was something to ease it a bit. I'm not looking to completely cure it or prevent it, just to bring it down a few notches.
Because I've been feeling so ill, and it is obviously starting to impact my job a bit, I came clean to my boss as well. I didn't want anyone thinking that I'm slacking off when I disappear for stretches of time or just sit at my desk sipping juice or when I come in late or leave early. He was very happy for us, asked if I've told anyone else in the lab (I haven't) and kinda gave me some pointers about what I should and shouldn't do in the lab (which I already knew). He did have to break some confidentiality and fill me in that one of the lab members has Hep B, but he did it with the best intentions. He knows I'd be the 1st person there helping if they got sick or hurt, and he didn't want me to expose "us" to the hazard. He also recommended I give the other PI in the lab a heads up about my delays and breaks, not to tell her I'm pregnant (unless I want to, which I don't) but just to let her know for time/record keeping purposes that I have stuff going on "medically" as he put it.
In other exciting and happy news- I'm an aunt again for the 13th time. PG-SIL went into labor just hours after we left their place on Sunday night, 2 days over her due date. She had feared having to do another cesearian but had given up that the baby was going to decide to come on her own. Surprise! After visiting the 3 of them yesterday evening, her "daydream" of giving birth naturally wasn't quite the glamorous experience she thought it would be. Apparently, contractions can be really painful, labor can be extremely exhausting, and there is lots of bodily fluids involved. Who knew?!? But everyone is doing well, is healthy, happy, and very tired.
Now, I'm just eagerly awaiting my appt on Thursday and the dinner/get together that the Boy is planning to celebrate my birthday (on Friday, the day after). An then on to telling my family this coming weekend. I need to figure out how we'll be cluing them in!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Weekend Round-up
What a weekend!
Thank you everyone for you suggestions about meeting with my friend E. I decided to go and just see how things went. We decided to make it dinner as well so that was a bit of a releif.
We meet around 7pm after I dropped the Boy off at a friend's house for a bit of a "Guy's Night" as it was on the way. I grab a table and wait for her to arrive. I order a water and sip on it a bit while waiting... She arrives. We hug. She orders a water and a beer. "Do you want anything else to drink?" No thanks, I'm good with water for now. (Crisis averted!) So we start by jumping right into how long we've both been trying, etc. I felt awful for her after hearing they started trying the month before we did, but haven't been protecting since their wedding 4yrs ago, just withdrawing. I was shocked that they didn't have any "accidents" or "scares" in that whole time.
Her Dr won't do any testing until they've been "trying" for a year even though she knows that E is turning 34, has a history with hypothyroidism (crazy, right?) and hasn't used any form of birth control in almost 5yrs now. How absurd! She was just as sympathetic with our story. She asked lots of questions about the types of treatments we've done and what we might have to do, etc. She about jumped over the table from joy when I told her we miraculously had a positive test in January, only to miscarry. She squeezed my hand and offered condolences.She was just wonderful through it all! I almost wanted to come out and tell her that I've just found out I'm pregnant again, but honestly, I don't want to have to tell very many people if it doesn't work out again.
I lent her my copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" to help her with charting, which she just started doing a bit in December/January and pointed her towards Fertility Friend and a place to buy fertility supplements and tests cheap. We talked about how we've felt through these experiences and how the guys have reacted and dealt with things as well as some of the crazy things we've done or thought of doing.
It was so fantastic to just sit and talk with someone in person that completely got it! I also loved that I could impart all the IF knowledge and dispelled some misconceptions she thought were true. She has a follow-up with her Dr on May 16th. I told her to take a stand. Be her own advocate. It's been 11mo, she's approaching "advanced maternal age", and nothing as of yet. If she is ready to start testing, her Dr should be on board by now. I also suggested that she get her DH checked by his Dr. She was all for it, but not sure how eager he would be.
It was totally serendipitous that any of this happens as she rarely checks FB and just happened to do so the week I'm participating in NIAW?!
I also hung out with other friends last night for one of the girl's birthdays. Generally, that involves eating, watching movies and drinks. I was on a roll with my drink avoidance! When offered a drink - "I want to eat some food first." or "I'm good with water for now." When asked why I wasn't drinking - either "We have to get up early in the morning." or "I don't really feel like a drink right now."
I did happen to have a bit of spotting while at their place, before bed last night and a touch this morning. My heart sank initially, but it wasn't and isn't red, just kind of pinkish brown. I'm playing it off in my head as normal early pregnancy spotting and could just be because this is when I would be due for my period. I've decided to take things a bit easy today and not do any lifting or strenuous work, though. The Boy isn't super happy about me ditching out on my chores around the house, but he's understanding about it.
Continuing on my neurotic reassurance, I've been testing everyday. This morning's test is by far my favorite. Not only is it not first morning (Thanks dogs for the 6:45 wake-up call), but I didn't have to force myself to hold it to test (Thank you early morning nap!).
Some how I have to make sure I sleep tonight. I've been anxiously awaiting and obsessively thinking about Monday morning's beta draw all weekend. That and when my earliest u/s would be if it all looks good.
I also received my PIO yesterday. I had to run to the FedEx office 20min away to collect it because, of course, the delivery guy came the 1hr we were out grocery shopping. I'm psyching myself up for the shots and have been watching videos online about how to give them. I'm pretty excited about not taking the suppositories any more!
Thank you everyone for you suggestions about meeting with my friend E. I decided to go and just see how things went. We decided to make it dinner as well so that was a bit of a releif.
We meet around 7pm after I dropped the Boy off at a friend's house for a bit of a "Guy's Night" as it was on the way. I grab a table and wait for her to arrive. I order a water and sip on it a bit while waiting... She arrives. We hug. She orders a water and a beer. "Do you want anything else to drink?" No thanks, I'm good with water for now. (Crisis averted!) So we start by jumping right into how long we've both been trying, etc. I felt awful for her after hearing they started trying the month before we did, but haven't been protecting since their wedding 4yrs ago, just withdrawing. I was shocked that they didn't have any "accidents" or "scares" in that whole time.
Her Dr won't do any testing until they've been "trying" for a year even though she knows that E is turning 34, has a history with hypothyroidism (crazy, right?) and hasn't used any form of birth control in almost 5yrs now. How absurd! She was just as sympathetic with our story. She asked lots of questions about the types of treatments we've done and what we might have to do, etc. She about jumped over the table from joy when I told her we miraculously had a positive test in January, only to miscarry. She squeezed my hand and offered condolences.She was just wonderful through it all! I almost wanted to come out and tell her that I've just found out I'm pregnant again, but honestly, I don't want to have to tell very many people if it doesn't work out again.
I lent her my copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" to help her with charting, which she just started doing a bit in December/January and pointed her towards Fertility Friend and a place to buy fertility supplements and tests cheap. We talked about how we've felt through these experiences and how the guys have reacted and dealt with things as well as some of the crazy things we've done or thought of doing.
It was so fantastic to just sit and talk with someone in person that completely got it! I also loved that I could impart all the IF knowledge and dispelled some misconceptions she thought were true. She has a follow-up with her Dr on May 16th. I told her to take a stand. Be her own advocate. It's been 11mo, she's approaching "advanced maternal age", and nothing as of yet. If she is ready to start testing, her Dr should be on board by now. I also suggested that she get her DH checked by his Dr. She was all for it, but not sure how eager he would be.
It was totally serendipitous that any of this happens as she rarely checks FB and just happened to do so the week I'm participating in NIAW?!
I also hung out with other friends last night for one of the girl's birthdays. Generally, that involves eating, watching movies and drinks. I was on a roll with my drink avoidance! When offered a drink - "I want to eat some food first." or "I'm good with water for now." When asked why I wasn't drinking - either "We have to get up early in the morning." or "I don't really feel like a drink right now."
I did happen to have a bit of spotting while at their place, before bed last night and a touch this morning. My heart sank initially, but it wasn't and isn't red, just kind of pinkish brown. I'm playing it off in my head as normal early pregnancy spotting and could just be because this is when I would be due for my period. I've decided to take things a bit easy today and not do any lifting or strenuous work, though. The Boy isn't super happy about me ditching out on my chores around the house, but he's understanding about it.
Continuing on my neurotic reassurance, I've been testing everyday. This morning's test is by far my favorite. Not only is it not first morning (Thanks dogs for the 6:45 wake-up call), but I didn't have to force myself to hold it to test (Thank you early morning nap!).
Some how I have to make sure I sleep tonight. I've been anxiously awaiting and obsessively thinking about Monday morning's beta draw all weekend. That and when my earliest u/s would be if it all looks good.
I also received my PIO yesterday. I had to run to the FedEx office 20min away to collect it because, of course, the delivery guy came the 1hr we were out grocery shopping. I'm psyching myself up for the shots and have been watching videos online about how to give them. I'm pretty excited about not taking the suppositories any more!
Friday, April 29, 2011
42
If you are a dork like me, you know that is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
It is also my beta hCG level for today, 11dpo. P4 is at 17. If things double by the redraw on Monday, I'll be starting on PIO shots.
Not only am I a dork, I'm neurotic. I tested Wednesday morning, yesterday morning, and took a digital that the PG-SIL gave me last night. Just to make sure I wasn't wasting my time going in this morning, I also tested today. I've never seen a line this dark on any hpt I've ever taken.
Please let this work out...
I'm also scheduled to meet with the friend (E) who came out to me because of my FB infertility postings, tonight for dinner and drinks. I hadn't anticipated this happening when I made those arrangements. I'm not entirely sure how to handle the situation at this point...
I can't drink now, knowing that I'm PUPO. I don't feel comfortable telling her just yet, but I feel like I'd be lieing to her if I don't say something. I've never been in a situation like this.
It is also my beta hCG level for today, 11dpo. P4 is at 17. If things double by the redraw on Monday, I'll be starting on PIO shots.
Not only am I a dork, I'm neurotic. I tested Wednesday morning, yesterday morning, and took a digital that the PG-SIL gave me last night. Just to make sure I wasn't wasting my time going in this morning, I also tested today. I've never seen a line this dark on any hpt I've ever taken.
Please let this work out...
I'm also scheduled to meet with the friend (E) who came out to me because of my FB infertility postings, tonight for dinner and drinks. I hadn't anticipated this happening when I made those arrangements. I'm not entirely sure how to handle the situation at this point...
I can't drink now, knowing that I'm PUPO. I don't feel comfortable telling her just yet, but I feel like I'd be lieing to her if I don't say something. I've never been in a situation like this.
Monday, April 25, 2011
All choked up!
I am so moved and awe-struck to hear that my NIAW FB postings have inspired others to do similar! I am truly touched to have had such an impact on others and I hope that you are all rewarded with the same for your honesty and effort to spread awareness and education. I wish you all find the support and understanding of those close to you (and possibly even almost strangers - we all have those people as "friends")!
I'm only 2 status posts in to my NIAW schedule, but I already feel like I've accomplished my goal. I was able to let one person know that they aren't alone in this. That there is support and hope out there waiting for them. Other than that friend contacting me, the response has been fairly subdued. My mom likes and comments. A few friends do the same. Women that I'm FB friends from a TTC forum have shared and reposted the links.
It's not a huge wave, but even the littlest ripples can affect the whole pond. I'm making a difference. I'm awe-inspired by myself right now. If you had asked me even 6m ago if I thought I'd be posting IF stuff on FB and letting people know some of those personal details about our journey, after scoffing about dealing with infertility, I would have pulled back immediately and retorted with a "Yeah, Right!" or "I would never!" Yet here I am, sharing with all 127 Friends on FB that IF is real, it's difficult and overwhelming, but there is hope and support and friendship waiting for you to just reach out your hand to take it. I. AM. making a difference!
I'll be posting my Busted up Myth on Wednesday. Until then, I'll probably be chronicling my FB posts and the comments and reactions I receive. I haven't forgotten the Blog awards that some of you fine ladies have bestowed upon me! That's probably for tomorrow's post.
One last thing in closing here, which also related to the title - I have a rather familiar queasy pressure at the back of my throat today, lightheaded along with a bit of dizziness. My boobs are sore and achy, and I won't even mention my nip sensations... I'm 7dpo. I'm scared to read into these, given that my temp dropped from ~98.6F to 98.2F this morning. Maybe my homemade chicken stir-fry isn't agreeing with me?
I'm only 2 status posts in to my NIAW schedule, but I already feel like I've accomplished my goal. I was able to let one person know that they aren't alone in this. That there is support and hope out there waiting for them. Other than that friend contacting me, the response has been fairly subdued. My mom likes and comments. A few friends do the same. Women that I'm FB friends from a TTC forum have shared and reposted the links.
It's not a huge wave, but even the littlest ripples can affect the whole pond. I'm making a difference. I'm awe-inspired by myself right now. If you had asked me even 6m ago if I thought I'd be posting IF stuff on FB and letting people know some of those personal details about our journey, after scoffing about dealing with infertility, I would have pulled back immediately and retorted with a "Yeah, Right!" or "I would never!" Yet here I am, sharing with all 127 Friends on FB that IF is real, it's difficult and overwhelming, but there is hope and support and friendship waiting for you to just reach out your hand to take it. I. AM. making a difference!
I'll be posting my Busted up Myth on Wednesday. Until then, I'll probably be chronicling my FB posts and the comments and reactions I receive. I haven't forgotten the Blog awards that some of you fine ladies have bestowed upon me! That's probably for tomorrow's post.
One last thing in closing here, which also related to the title - I have a rather familiar queasy pressure at the back of my throat today, lightheaded along with a bit of dizziness. My boobs are sore and achy, and I won't even mention my nip sensations... I'm 7dpo. I'm scared to read into these, given that my temp dropped from ~98.6F to 98.2F this morning. Maybe my homemade chicken stir-fry isn't agreeing with me?
Sunday, April 24, 2011
NIAW posting update!
My FB post/status today was just some general info, etc on infertility via the CDC. Much to my surprise and amazement, a friend of ours sent me a message asking if my postings were because we were trying but having trouble, and that they have been trying as well and nothing so far at almost a year.
If nothing else, my goal with my postings has been achieved! She now knows she's not alone in this! I am very excited about connecting and getting closer to her because of this. Maybe I'll be able to pass on my IF experience and some tips/info/pointers to help them out. At the very least, I can be a shoulder of support for them as they continue on their baby-making journey.
One day into NIAW and I've already made a difference! My heart feels so full of hope right now. For them. For us.
If nothing else, my goal with my postings has been achieved! She now knows she's not alone in this! I am very excited about connecting and getting closer to her because of this. Maybe I'll be able to pass on my IF experience and some tips/info/pointers to help them out. At the very least, I can be a shoulder of support for them as they continue on their baby-making journey.
One day into NIAW and I've already made a difference! My heart feels so full of hope right now. For them. For us.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Confused
I'm happy and sad.
A friend and former student in the lab just filled us in that she's expecting. I'm very happy for her and her husband. She was probably my closest work friend.
Unfortunately and coincidentally, her due date was my due date. Cue the tears. I'd be 14wk right now. I hadn't thought about that for a few days until she mentioned how far along she is.
I decided to talk to her and get the details. Turns out she actually had a very early miscarriage (most likely a chemical pregnancy) a few months back. That pregnancy was a surprise, but made them realized they wanted to start their family. Cue more tears. I hate that she had to go through that as well. Especially as it was right after she moved from here to back north, starting a new job and buying a house. So many sources of stress, she didn't need a m/c on top of it all.
I'm sad for her. Sad for me. Happy for her. Sad for me. This is the 1st pregnancy announcement that I've had to deal with since my m/c. My emotions about it are so conflicted and I don't know which are the real ones and which are the ones I only think I should be feeling. I'm so confused...
A friend and former student in the lab just filled us in that she's expecting. I'm very happy for her and her husband. She was probably my closest work friend.
Unfortunately and coincidentally, her due date was my due date. Cue the tears. I'd be 14wk right now. I hadn't thought about that for a few days until she mentioned how far along she is.
I decided to talk to her and get the details. Turns out she actually had a very early miscarriage (most likely a chemical pregnancy) a few months back. That pregnancy was a surprise, but made them realized they wanted to start their family. Cue more tears. I hate that she had to go through that as well. Especially as it was right after she moved from here to back north, starting a new job and buying a house. So many sources of stress, she didn't need a m/c on top of it all.
I'm sad for her. Sad for me. Happy for her. Sad for me. This is the 1st pregnancy announcement that I've had to deal with since my m/c. My emotions about it are so conflicted and I don't know which are the real ones and which are the ones I only think I should be feeling. I'm so confused...
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Choppy waters
A little nautical reference if you will. I'm feeling a bit lost on the high seas in the midst of storms. Nothing is really moving in a desired direction. My little dingy is at the complete mercy of things I can't control or influence.
The ovarian cyst is more than I had anticipated it would be. Dr. Google is absolutely right that the pain is amped up during menstruation. Ouch! I physically haven't felt like doing much of anything in fears of over-doing it and causing my angry friend to rupture. I like to think I'm a pretty tough cookie as I usually shoulder through most things, but I've had to resort to the painkillers to deal with my uncooperative body the last few days.
I'm quite a bit upset that I can't take my Femara this cycle. One more thing that is now out of my control. No telling when I'll end up ovulating this cycle. Yet, I'm secretly hoping that I'll hit the jackpot and be able to say that we ended up being one of those stories were after months of medical intervention, the cycle off from them is the cycle we conceived, all on our own and get to take home a baby from it. It's a long shot, but I have a tiny glimmer of hope that it could happen.
Outside my body, things are a bit tumultuous at work. The co-worker that returned from maternity leave a few weeks ago is making things a nightmare. The boss and her had an agreement that he would keep her on until after her maternity leave so she could have insurance for the birth, etc even though her funding has completely run out. He has bent over backwards trying to help her and keep her with an income during a very delicate time. She apparently isn't keeping her end of the deal. She won't resign, so he is left with 2 options: fire her and she gets no benefits or unemployment (and the rest of us have to take on her responsibilities) or keep paying her for the mandated 60d from termination notice and jeopardize the whole lab.
She can't really meet her job requirements anymore between her frequent (and necessary) breaks to go and pump, and her issues with child care. Between her and the baby's daddy, they make a pretty decent living and are well above the poverty line. But somehow, they are unable to pay for any form of child care and have to rely on when their families (who aren't local) can stay to watch him? At the same time, she can go and have her hair cut and dyed, he can buy a new laptop, they can go out to eat and buy new cloths and such? I just don't get it?! They had 9m to work out how to afford a child and then 8wks to figure out care.
It makes me so furious! I've had to struggle and work my butt of for the things they are taking for granted! You have to make sacrifices for the things that are important to you! In college, I had to work 30hrs on top of my full course load to put myself through my undergraduate degree. My parents couldn't really help much financially at the time. Hence, my >$35k in school loans. But since I had to work for it, I made sure to get all that I could out of it. I'm proud to say I was able to pay my own way and be able to come out with a 3.8 GPA while working almost full-time and taking difficult science courses. For grad school, the Boy and I lived off of less than $25k a year between him working full-time, my stipend and any extra money we could make on the side. We lived in a crap apartment, then townhouse, still managed to pay our bills, pay our large medical expense and still save a bit. We didn't go out and party much because we really couldn't afford it.
Now, sure we are making more money, but a good chunk of it goes towards medical related things as well as our chances for a baby. We are not only having to physically work for our child to bring home the money to pay for housing, food, etc., we are having to pay for the chance to even conceive each and every month. It's a lot less than some people have to pay for the same, but still, it's an additional financial responsibility we have. Our financial well-being and baby dreams are now being influenced by someone that won't even make some minor lifestyle changes to afford child care! Our chances at a planned and much wanted baby are in jeopardy because of someone that accidentally got pregnant and can't put the needs of the child or others before their own wants!
Between all this, I've just wanted to pout and cry this weekend. Just sit and wallow in my own despair and pessimism. I know part of it is just because of the gloom that accompanies my period each cycle, but the rest is genuine feeling of hopelessness in our situation. There isn't anyone I can truly talk to about this in person/real life as the only person we know that went through any form of "infertility struggle" is my PG-SIL and all she does when we talk is go on and on about their situation and doesn't really listen. It doesn't really help that she is 8m pregnant and that's all that she seems to be able to talk about. I can understand that, but it's obviously not something I really want to keep subjecting myself to, all things considered.
I hate feeling so lost and alone, sad and hopeless.
The ovarian cyst is more than I had anticipated it would be. Dr. Google is absolutely right that the pain is amped up during menstruation. Ouch! I physically haven't felt like doing much of anything in fears of over-doing it and causing my angry friend to rupture. I like to think I'm a pretty tough cookie as I usually shoulder through most things, but I've had to resort to the painkillers to deal with my uncooperative body the last few days.
I'm quite a bit upset that I can't take my Femara this cycle. One more thing that is now out of my control. No telling when I'll end up ovulating this cycle. Yet, I'm secretly hoping that I'll hit the jackpot and be able to say that we ended up being one of those stories were after months of medical intervention, the cycle off from them is the cycle we conceived, all on our own and get to take home a baby from it. It's a long shot, but I have a tiny glimmer of hope that it could happen.
Outside my body, things are a bit tumultuous at work. The co-worker that returned from maternity leave a few weeks ago is making things a nightmare. The boss and her had an agreement that he would keep her on until after her maternity leave so she could have insurance for the birth, etc even though her funding has completely run out. He has bent over backwards trying to help her and keep her with an income during a very delicate time. She apparently isn't keeping her end of the deal. She won't resign, so he is left with 2 options: fire her and she gets no benefits or unemployment (and the rest of us have to take on her responsibilities) or keep paying her for the mandated 60d from termination notice and jeopardize the whole lab.
She can't really meet her job requirements anymore between her frequent (and necessary) breaks to go and pump, and her issues with child care. Between her and the baby's daddy, they make a pretty decent living and are well above the poverty line. But somehow, they are unable to pay for any form of child care and have to rely on when their families (who aren't local) can stay to watch him? At the same time, she can go and have her hair cut and dyed, he can buy a new laptop, they can go out to eat and buy new cloths and such? I just don't get it?! They had 9m to work out how to afford a child and then 8wks to figure out care.
It makes me so furious! I've had to struggle and work my butt of for the things they are taking for granted! You have to make sacrifices for the things that are important to you! In college, I had to work 30hrs on top of my full course load to put myself through my undergraduate degree. My parents couldn't really help much financially at the time. Hence, my >$35k in school loans. But since I had to work for it, I made sure to get all that I could out of it. I'm proud to say I was able to pay my own way and be able to come out with a 3.8 GPA while working almost full-time and taking difficult science courses. For grad school, the Boy and I lived off of less than $25k a year between him working full-time, my stipend and any extra money we could make on the side. We lived in a crap apartment, then townhouse, still managed to pay our bills, pay our large medical expense and still save a bit. We didn't go out and party much because we really couldn't afford it.
Now, sure we are making more money, but a good chunk of it goes towards medical related things as well as our chances for a baby. We are not only having to physically work for our child to bring home the money to pay for housing, food, etc., we are having to pay for the chance to even conceive each and every month. It's a lot less than some people have to pay for the same, but still, it's an additional financial responsibility we have. Our financial well-being and baby dreams are now being influenced by someone that won't even make some minor lifestyle changes to afford child care! Our chances at a planned and much wanted baby are in jeopardy because of someone that accidentally got pregnant and can't put the needs of the child or others before their own wants!
Between all this, I've just wanted to pout and cry this weekend. Just sit and wallow in my own despair and pessimism. I know part of it is just because of the gloom that accompanies my period each cycle, but the rest is genuine feeling of hopelessness in our situation. There isn't anyone I can truly talk to about this in person/real life as the only person we know that went through any form of "infertility struggle" is my PG-SIL and all she does when we talk is go on and on about their situation and doesn't really listen. It doesn't really help that she is 8m pregnant and that's all that she seems to be able to talk about. I can understand that, but it's obviously not something I really want to keep subjecting myself to, all things considered.
I hate feeling so lost and alone, sad and hopeless.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
The Outing, revisited
While I was listening to some archived podcasts (is that the right word?) from the Fertility Focus Telesummit 2011, I was reading several various IF sites and blogs and it struck me. I'm slowly going to let myself come out to the world in general about our struggles to conceive.
We've now told family and friends. The parents. B & PG-SIL. I've messaged/emailed a close friend (the one I sent the baby sling to) and filled her in, now that she's moved onto her 2nd trimester. I've told a few work friends, but that's about it.
I posted that link to my FB page a while ago and got no responses. Well, let's see what I get now that I have joined the Resolve FB page/group and liked the Self article on Infertility Awareness. These are posted on my profile and my feed. I'm also contemplating a post in the near future fully outing myself as an Infertile and that baby-making isn't easy for everyone. It is very scary, nerve-wracking, relieving and empowering at that same time.
I've started off slowly and subtly, and I'd like to think here in the next few months, I'll have it out there in the open. Where all the world can see. Where it will no longer feel like a dirty, shameful little secret that has to be kept hidden. One little step at a time, but I'll get there.
I am the 1in 6 couples that has fertility issues. I am the 1 in 4 pregnancies that end in loss. I am tired of keeping it quiet.
We've now told family and friends. The parents. B & PG-SIL. I've messaged/emailed a close friend (the one I sent the baby sling to) and filled her in, now that she's moved onto her 2nd trimester. I've told a few work friends, but that's about it.
I posted that link to my FB page a while ago and got no responses. Well, let's see what I get now that I have joined the Resolve FB page/group and liked the Self article on Infertility Awareness. These are posted on my profile and my feed. I'm also contemplating a post in the near future fully outing myself as an Infertile and that baby-making isn't easy for everyone. It is very scary, nerve-wracking, relieving and empowering at that same time.
I've started off slowly and subtly, and I'd like to think here in the next few months, I'll have it out there in the open. Where all the world can see. Where it will no longer feel like a dirty, shameful little secret that has to be kept hidden. One little step at a time, but I'll get there.
I am the 1in 6 couples that has fertility issues. I am the 1 in 4 pregnancies that end in loss. I am tired of keeping it quiet.
******************************************************
Update: I just wanted to thank you all for the great comments and support! It is surprising how even just small steps such as a simple click of the "like" button can fill us with so much fear and confusion! I'm deeply grateful to have you all at my back, cheering.
My mom "liked" my link to the Self article and another friend (house-warmer) "liked" my attendance of the FF Telesummit. While it's just 2 people, it's 2 more people than the day before that know and care. Maybe after in a bit, my outings will be a bit more overt. Maybe I'll even have one in public *gasp*
On 2nd thought, probably not for quite a while yet.
Monday, March 21, 2011
No responses?
Almost 24hrs after sending that email to the SIL, I haven't received any form of acknowledgment that she even received the email or any form of anything. I know she's read it by now as she lives through her iphone and any other email I've sent her has been answered even briefly within the hour. Maybe, as the Hubs suggests, she's just trying to formulate an appropriate response. It is still nerve-wracking for me, none the less. Just having put myself out there like that, just kinda hanging now.
I took another big step yesterday evening in outing my infertile self. I've seen this Time article 3 different times in 3 different places now. Either it is some huge coincidence or I'm suppose to do something about it. So, without giving myself the opportunity to hesitate, I hit the FB like button. Minutes later, this pops up on my profile and into the newsfeed.
*crickets*
No response to that either. I wasn't expecting everyone on FB to come swarming my page, but I was hoping someone would see it and be intrigued or concerned enough about it to send me a message or comment or something! When I posted about my depression (re)diagnosis 2yr ago, and then happened put up a profile picture a week or so later that I thought was artsy, but incidentally also contained the Boy's bbgun, BAM! My page is lit up, my phone is ringing, and people are messaging me asking if I'm ok. I hadn't even put it up there to be angsty or deep. I just wanted to change it and liked the look of that one. The bbgun wasn't even prominently featured!
And yet, here I am "liking" a post about m/c and depression and not one little thing. Is it really that taboo of a subject? Maybe I'm over-reacting (very likely). Maybe, just maybe, it is just too subtle for most people to be able to 2 and 2 together. I'm not sure how, but I guess I'll give it reasonable doubt. I'm not quite ready yet to be more overt in my announcements to the whole world, but I think these baby steps are a good start.
Have any of you posted something publicly that you could have sworn would have tipped people off to things, but inadvertently it seemed to have breezed right over their heads?
I took another big step yesterday evening in outing my infertile self. I've seen this Time article 3 different times in 3 different places now. Either it is some huge coincidence or I'm suppose to do something about it. So, without giving myself the opportunity to hesitate, I hit the FB like button. Minutes later, this pops up on my profile and into the newsfeed.
No response to that either. I wasn't expecting everyone on FB to come swarming my page, but I was hoping someone would see it and be intrigued or concerned enough about it to send me a message or comment or something! When I posted about my depression (re)diagnosis 2yr ago, and then happened put up a profile picture a week or so later that I thought was artsy, but incidentally also contained the Boy's bbgun, BAM! My page is lit up, my phone is ringing, and people are messaging me asking if I'm ok. I hadn't even put it up there to be angsty or deep. I just wanted to change it and liked the look of that one. The bbgun wasn't even prominently featured!
And yet, here I am "liking" a post about m/c and depression and not one little thing. Is it really that taboo of a subject? Maybe I'm over-reacting (very likely). Maybe, just maybe, it is just too subtle for most people to be able to 2 and 2 together. I'm not sure how, but I guess I'll give it reasonable doubt. I'm not quite ready yet to be more overt in my announcements to the whole world, but I think these baby steps are a good start.
Have any of you posted something publicly that you could have sworn would have tipped people off to things, but inadvertently it seemed to have breezed right over their heads?
Monday, March 7, 2011
Whirlwind Weekend of Ups and Downs
What a crazy past few days here! Thanks so much for the blog design help given last post! As you can see, I sorta figured it out and implemented. Yay me!
This weekend was super busy and activity filed, at least it was when compared to our usual weekend of hanging around the house and maybe hitting up Tar-jay or the Home Depot. I'm going to portion it into baby-related and non-related sections.
Friday - Baby: Co-worker returns from maternity leave. Spends all day talking about baby/mommy stuff and looking at pics of her kid and calling the grandparents to see how he is doing.
Not-Baby: Went to see our friend's band play and eat dinner while there. The Boy got free t-shirts that he designed for 2 of the bands. My food was not as good as usual there, and I had a cup of honey mustard fall into my lap.
Baby: His wife just entered her 2nd trimester and he sorta talked about the u/s and stuff.
Saturday - Baby: SIL had her 4d u/s, that we did not attend. We did however visit them to see the Boy's folks. Unfortunately, it was all baby talk from BIL and SIL. She even handed me the print outs to look through since we were "unable to make it". I flipped through them, not once looking down at them.
Not-Baby: It was great to see the in-laws as we haven't seen them since New Year's. Also, took an amazing nap with Boy when we got home.
Baby: Went to a friend/co-worker's house warming party. Lots of babies and baby talk. Boo. Got to hold their little girl a lot. Yay! She even fell asleep in my arms twice! I almost cried at how sweet she looked and how great it felt to hold a baby! Unfortunately, I did cry when the 2 fertile-myrtle co-workers (maternity leaver and house owner) started talking about now having to prevent so they don't get pregnant again and how badly it seems their bodies like having babies. Big Boo. Also, had several near breakdowns while on baby duty about how I'm a "natural" and how I need to talk the hubs into "having one of them." Sigh. If all it took was talking him into it, I'd so be knocked-the-F-up right now!
Sunday - Not-baby: Got Cricket microchipped! Everyone always fawns over her because she is such a different looking dog and is so people-friendly. She did great and didn't even flinch or anything at the injection.
Unfortunately-Not-Baby: Started spotting/light flow that night after my shower.
Monday - Not-baby: Had my consult with my Primary care office. My blood work all looks good except for 2 things. My vitamin D was a bit low, even taking my calcium/D supplements, and my eosinophils were high (thanks allergies!). The best news was that my TSH was at 1.526! Much better than >3 it has been at the last several times. Looks like this 50mcg of the Synthroid is working! Sadly, bleeding in full force this morning. Onto cycle 10.
Baby: The nurse practitioner that I saw today was at least 5-6mo pregnant and I had to explain why I was taking the Synthroid and Letrozole. Nothing like explaining to a preg that your stuff is all busted and won't do what it should be doing without strong-arming it with meds. She looked lost the whole time.
This weekend was super busy and activity filed, at least it was when compared to our usual weekend of hanging around the house and maybe hitting up Tar-jay or the Home Depot. I'm going to portion it into baby-related and non-related sections.
Friday - Baby: Co-worker returns from maternity leave. Spends all day talking about baby/mommy stuff and looking at pics of her kid and calling the grandparents to see how he is doing.
Not-Baby: Went to see our friend's band play and eat dinner while there. The Boy got free t-shirts that he designed for 2 of the bands. My food was not as good as usual there, and I had a cup of honey mustard fall into my lap.
Baby: His wife just entered her 2nd trimester and he sorta talked about the u/s and stuff.
Saturday - Baby: SIL had her 4d u/s, that we did not attend. We did however visit them to see the Boy's folks. Unfortunately, it was all baby talk from BIL and SIL. She even handed me the print outs to look through since we were "unable to make it". I flipped through them, not once looking down at them.
Not-Baby: It was great to see the in-laws as we haven't seen them since New Year's. Also, took an amazing nap with Boy when we got home.
Baby: Went to a friend/co-worker's house warming party. Lots of babies and baby talk. Boo. Got to hold their little girl a lot. Yay! She even fell asleep in my arms twice! I almost cried at how sweet she looked and how great it felt to hold a baby! Unfortunately, I did cry when the 2 fertile-myrtle co-workers (maternity leaver and house owner) started talking about now having to prevent so they don't get pregnant again and how badly it seems their bodies like having babies. Big Boo. Also, had several near breakdowns while on baby duty about how I'm a "natural" and how I need to talk the hubs into "having one of them." Sigh. If all it took was talking him into it, I'd so be knocked-the-F-up right now!
Sunday - Not-baby: Got Cricket microchipped! Everyone always fawns over her because she is such a different looking dog and is so people-friendly. She did great and didn't even flinch or anything at the injection.
Unfortunately-Not-Baby: Started spotting/light flow that night after my shower.
Monday - Not-baby: Had my consult with my Primary care office. My blood work all looks good except for 2 things. My vitamin D was a bit low, even taking my calcium/D supplements, and my eosinophils were high (thanks allergies!). The best news was that my TSH was at 1.526! Much better than >3 it has been at the last several times. Looks like this 50mcg of the Synthroid is working! Sadly, bleeding in full force this morning. Onto cycle 10.
Baby: The nurse practitioner that I saw today was at least 5-6mo pregnant and I had to explain why I was taking the Synthroid and Letrozole. Nothing like explaining to a preg that your stuff is all busted and won't do what it should be doing without strong-arming it with meds. She looked lost the whole time.
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