Lucy's birth story

Only 2m late...

I swore baby girl #2 would come early. They say subsequent babies tend to come sooner than 1st. I had been having strong Braxton hicks for almost half the pregnancy where I only really had them towards the end with Emma. Plus, so many people kept commenting on how she looked lower every few days. I even had the upset GI issues around 38w for 2 days and a few days that I felt “different.” It was hard to tell if I lost my mucus plug as I had pretty constant discharge the last 3 months. By 39w, I had resigned to being pregnant for next to forever and hoping not to be super late past due date. I was sure that baby was head down (as she had been for over a month now) as well as posterior based on belly mapping. Chiropractic and some home exercises didn’t get her to turn anterior.

The morning of September 10th, I woke up and used the bathroom, per the usual morning routine at this point. Except it wasn’t quite a normal urination, more like an open-closed valve instead of tapering off. Other than seeming odd, I felt fine and got myself and Emma ready. Strangely enough, I posted in a FB group that morning about being worried I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between all the strong brackton hicks I had been having for months now and real contractions.

I started feeling “off” on the way to Em’s daycare, but dropped her off and headed into work. I wanted to wrap a few things up and planned to leave shortly after getting there, so I parked behind the building instead of the parking deck. Besides, I didn't want to walk all the way from the deck to the building.

Shortly after getting to work, the brackton hicks started up again, but a bit stronger feeling that usual. They actually seemed to be almost regular, so I started timing them. They were about 10 min apart and actually regular. I started thinking this could be it. By 10:30a, they were closer to 6-8 min apart and getting a bit stronger, lasting about 20-30 seconds each. Since things were picking up, I sent my doula a text as well as my MW with those numbers. The MW was finishing up at another birth and would head to our place when finished. I left work a bit before 11:30a after passing off all the urgent and critical work items and emailing my boss and the other PhD in the lab that I was heading home early as I thought this could be it. Plus, my co-workers were starting to freak that I’d give birth in the lab.

I had been texting with Chris throughout the morning and when I was getting ready to leave work, he was going to leave work to pick up Emma from daycare. I got home and brought out the hot/cold pack from the freezer and birth ball as contraction intensity had picked up on the ride home. I found I had to do a good bit of side swaying or bouncy squats through them since it was all in my lower back and the birth ball was not helping to relieve the discomfort. I started vocalizing with some low “ooo”s. Emma, who was home by this point and watching cartoons, apparently didn’t appreciate my sounds and told me to “stop singing like a cow mommy!” She also very much wanted to help with putting the heat pack that was thawing on my back, which started to piss me off as it was sooo cold!

At around noon, the MW called to say she was leaving from the other birth and on her way to our house. The assistant MW was also on her way. I went to change from my clothes into a sleep dress that was super light, soft and comfortable. During that time, my doula arrived, and I filled her on how I was feeling and how uncomfortable the back labor was. She heated up her more awesome heat pad and started doing counter pressure, which I had to tell her to push harder on to help with the pain. During this, Chris was getting the foam mattress covered and into the dining room and moved the dining table to the wall by the back door.

About 12:30p, the asst MW arrived. The contractions were really getting intense and about 2-3min apart. I was really having to concentrate through them as leaning on the counters and swaying and squatting wasn’t as effective as it was before. I felt a pressing urge to go pee, so went to the bathroom. I didn’t really pee but rather had show, so I kept my underwear off at this point. I informed the ladies in the kitchen, and the asst MW started getting everything prepped. I asked Chris to put the dogs out and close the curtains, and either the MW or doula turned out the lights. This is where things get a bit fuzzy for me, so I was likely in transition.

The asst MW was having a bit of trouble getting a heart beat on the Doppler so asked if I could lay down for her. A really strong contraction came on and the pain from the back labor caused me to pretty much collapse onto the mat anyways. The heartbeat was good and strong still as I was lying in a sort of child’s pose position. I started to have a few light urges to push and the asst MW said to gently do what my body felt it needed. So different and much much better than being told at the hospital with Emma to just breathe through them and not push. After a few light pushes the urge started getting stronger. Somewhere during this my absolute favorite moment occurred and one of the few clear memories I have after the show. Emma came up to me on the mat whiel I was lying down, stroked my hair and gently said “you are doing good, mommy. I love you,” kisses my forehead, and then walks off the mattress.T

The asst MW was taking vitals again when my MW arrived just shortly before 1p. As she was updating the MW and started saying “but her water hasn’t broken yet.” Right then, a strong contraction came on and when I pushed with it, my water broke, right at her and the doula. Things were really bustling at this point! Chris had been doing great at keeping Em occupied and at this point, she was so interested and was a bit down from the mat watching the whole thing intently. I remember calling out “I think she’s coming!” to which the MWs replied “uh, yeah, she’s crowning!” I called for Chris to come hold my hand and the doula took over Emma duty. I pushed 2 or 3, maybe 4 times max. After the 2nd or 3rd push the MW told me to make the next one count as baby needed to come out (I don’t remember her exact wording or reason). I did and baby girl came flying out at 1:09p.

She was placed immediately on my chest and given a bit of a rub down after which we were covered up with towels. Emma came over and we got to introduce her to her new baby sister. The MW filled me in on her emergence while we waited for the placenta to be delivered- the 1st view of her head was the crown, but the 2nd was her face. She was sunny-side up! She was posterior, just as I though, and the back labor was from. Emma got to help Chris cut the cord, and the MW did a print of the placenta with her. During this time, we decided on her name. Lucy Arden as she didn’t look like a Charlie Jean to me at all.

The asst MW started making me scrambled eggs and bacon, which Emma ate all the bacon slices. The MW started getting Lucy’s stats and recording her various measurements. At some point shortly after, my mom stopped by, uninvited, as Chris sent everyone a pic text and my mom is technologically challenged and 8min away. Shortly after she left, I moved from the kitchen to my bed. I was still bleeding pretty good and had one big gush that made me light-headed so I got an injection of Pitocin in my thigh. Other than that, the MWs were cleaning up and stayed in the kitchen until leaving around 430/5p.

Lucy’s home birth was so incredible, and I couldn't imagine having done it not surrounded by my little family! (Also, I realized a few weeks after, I wasn't checked once during this pregnancy, so I have no clue where I was when I went into labor  )

The Birth Story

AKA - The fast and the furious (and slightly fuzzy)

***This is going to be a LONG post***

(I've contemplated posting this whole thing as I have it written vs condensing it down... I just don't know what all to cut out without making it sound like "contractions, labor, baby." If you make it all the way through, ROCK ON with your bad self!!)

** I hope this is semi-coherent as it’s been written in bits and pieces when I have 2 free hands (I’ve not yet mastered 1-handed typing just yet) and a free moment not filled with visitors, sleep, or attempts to eat. **

 Wowwee! It’s been a crazy, hectic, and absolutely wonderful 5 days… As the previous post said, we celebrated the arrival of our baby GIRL Emma Parker this past Sunday. But to fully appreciate her birth story, I think I need to start back at Christmas.

Christmas day – I began losing my mucus plug and baby had dropped some already. I was being told by people left and right “Any day now!” When I became unplugged, I started to believe them!

Things were only amplified at my next Ob appt 4 days later when the Dr did an internal check and I was 2cm! When I had checked my self the day prior, it felt like just a tiny gap the size of my fingertip! Woo hoo progress! Any day now! The more frequent Braxton Hick contractions didn’t help either.

We waited. And waited. And waited a bit more. The next week at my 39w appt, things were pretty much status quo. Still just 2cm dilated. 50% effaced and baby was at about +2/+1 station. Things could change at any time, or stay right there for 2 more weeks. It was weird talking with OB nurse practitioner that has been with me from the start. We were looking at possibility of things come 41 and 42w- Induction and the like. I had resigned myself that baby wasn’t in any hurry to come out, and just wanted to play mind games with me. Might as well just go about regular business

We went out for dinners with friends a time or 2 and just had life as normal. No planning on “what if labor this that or the other.” Previously-PG SIL (the baby crazed one) invited us over for dinner. She was making chili, because, wouldn’t you know it, that’s what a friend made for her the day before she went into labor. I wasn’t buying that as a labor starter as I had my own chili the week before, it was spicier than hers, and nothing happened. But hey, a free meal is a free meal and even better that I didn’t have to do anything. Her son had a friend over for the night and they were just cutting jokes left and right! I laughed so much and so hard, my belly was actually sore that night!

On the ride home, I was really uncomfortable. Actually, I was fairly uncomfortable for most of the day. I just thought it was from all the laughing and how I had been sitting at their place as well as just the usual BHs. We headed to bed, life as usual. Except, I couldn’t stay comfortable. I was able to maybe sleep 45min over the next hour and an half. Stupid back ache! And man, I just felt like I needed a good trip to the restroom. Regardless, at 1am, there was no way I was able to go back to bed.

I sat around and surfed the internet, and started noticing a pattern. Backache, tightening around the front, and relax. Hmmm, maybe I should time these? They felt slightly different than the Braxton Hicks I had been having, thanks to the backache. Well, well, well! Wouldn’t you know it; they were about 5-6min apart, 30-45sec long. I continue monitoring them until about 2am, when I return to the bedroom to let the Boy know that I “think I might be in labor.” I told him he could go back to sleep if he wanted as I was just going to keep tracking things for a while. I gave my OB office a call and spoke to the on-call Dr, who notified the hospital that I may be checking in later. Not surprisingly, he wasn’t able to sleep alone with this knowledge for much longer. We played games in the living room as I snacked, hydrated, and worked through the increasing in strength contractions.

I suddenly dawned on me that the contractions were more like 4min apart and lasting at least 1 full minute. Man, did that gotta go feeling get stronger, too! I finally decided at that point we should probably get our things together and head to the hospital! It was getting a bit difficult to carry a convo through them, let alone walk. They didn’t exactly hurt, but just kinda stole my breath and “froze” my midsection. We called the parents and made arrangements for mine to pick up the puppy dogs later in the morning.

A short but long, uncomfortable car ride later, I was changing from my super frumpy pjs to a sheet from the 80’s with some snaps on the shoulders and ties in the back and began the baseline monitoring. Baby’s heart rate was good through the contractions, which they most definitely were and coming about every 3min at this point. Some how in 2 days I went from 2cm and 50% to 5cm dilated and 100% effaced. The baby was fully engaged in the pelvis and my membranes were “bulging.” The boy filled out all the paperwork and remembered to pass along my “Birth Plan” (which was pretty much a list of natural labor related items, as long as baby and I were doing well).

 After about 20-30 min of read outs, I was transferred to my labor and delivery room. I was able to keep drinking, walking around (ha!), sit on the birth ball, and use the bathroom as/if needed. At some point, I was actually about to “go” and finally had the show that all the sites are talking about leading up to labor. It only took me to be in active labor and 7-8cm dilated to have what most women have a few days before labor! And yes, I went from 5 to 8cm in 30min. My IV port was put in at 5:10a and blood was drawn for tests that I don’t remember now. The only way I know the time is it was written on the info sticker the nurse put on it after placing.

By this time, the contractions were so strong that I could only try to breathe through them and pat either my own or Boy’s leg until they started to subside. Apparently, I was completely my normal self between contractions though! Along with each of the crazy strong contractions was this equally strong feeling like I had to push. I told the nurse this and we agreed to do a check in a few more minutes.

“So you are at 10cm, fully dilated. This is transition and the hardest part. Try not to push as the Dr isn’t here yet.” Holy Cow! That was a) super fast, b) scary to think the Dr wasn’t at the hospital yet, and c) sounding impossible to NOT push! Heck, the contractions were coming so hard and fast that I wasn’t able to leave the bed after the check! I was informed that I should “breathe out” and “blow” through the pushing urge. Easier said than done! I lost focus on one contraction and pushed just slightly… launching my water “a good 2ft” according to the Boy. Now, the real fun starts!

A stand-in Dr arrives as we are still waiting for mine to arrive. Everything is such a frenzy and blur, but I remember her repeatedly telling me not to push at all until she was scrubbed in! Somehow, I was able to meet that request this time I think it was all due to the coaching from the main nurse and the constant reassurance that I was doing great coming from Hubs. The next bit is a bit vague and furious and all I recall is them removing my soaked gown so I was buck-naked on the bed, being intensely hot to the point of roasting, and my nurse instructing me to grab behind my own knees. I was now allowed to push when the feeling struck me! Hallelujah! Unfortunately, I also screamed, groaned and cried out, regardless of being told to steadily breathe through them. It probably sounded a lot like an exorcism going horribly wrong to anyone outside!

Next thing I know, there is a head, some crazy, unexplainable sensations down there, my Dr arrived, 2-3 pushes and a set of shoulders later there was this wet, sticky, completely perfect baby laying on my chest, crying.  My normal, semi-reserved self degenerated into the stereotypical, blubbering, overly-sappy, Hollywood-stylized woman who just gave birth. It was ridiculous. And wonderful. I had never before felt as overwhelmed with emotion as I did at that moment. I laughed. I cried. I trembled uncontrollably. Cried some more. I loved this new little person with every single ounce of my being and fell head over heels in love with my husband, again. Best 5:42am of my life.

I was beyond happy that pretty much all of my birth preferences were met. We didn’t get to have the delayed cord cutting like I would have wanted, but the Boy still did the big snip. I was able to breastfeed right off the bat, and keep her on me for at least 5 minutes. It was a completely natural birth as there was no time for any form of pain meds whether I wanted them or not! Same goes for any episiotomy. To be honest, there was definitely a point where I wanted to just have the epidural as the contractions were pretty hard, long, and painful. I couldn’t imagine holding out and not getting one if my labor had gone on for hours and hours longer. Kudos to any woman that has done so!

 There was just one small thing that I keep getting hung up on, looking back. After placing Emma on my chest, they asked if she had a name. I immediately blurted out “Emma Parker.” Not even a second’s pause to perhaps confer with her father on what we were going to call her. Oops! Good thing Emma was our front-runner and she fits the name quite well! It is a derivative of a Germanic word meaning “whole, universal.” With Emma finally here, I can honestly say that my heart does feel more whole. She has pretty much become my whole world in just a few short days (hours really).

So there you have it, my 4.5hrs of labor. My labor bag was useless as I only used the rice sock and only for a little bit. The birth ed classes were almost pointless as when it came down to the wire, all reason and cognition flew right out the window and everything was pretty much overcome with primal and instinctual urges and reactions. My concluding thoughts on the whole birthing ordeal – There is no such thing as the “perfect” or “ideal” birth. At least, from a planning stand point or how it is commonly thought. Whether X, Y, and Z happen or not and things having gone a certain way. Rubbish.

The mother and child come through the labor healthy and together – Now that is the best, most perfect labor and birth possible.

A far too pregnancy-centric post

Happy belated ICLW! I've been a very bad blogger/commenter this go round. There has definitely been a lot going on here, but that really shouldn't be an excuse!

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What a whirlwind weekend it was! The reveal to his parents was great! Telling his grandma was good. On a trip to hit the beach for a bit with the PG-friend, filled her in about it. Grandma spilled the beans before we could when his sister and niece came over later on Sunday. PG-SIL and BIL were in disbelief and then excited. The friends watching our Cricket patient for the weekend were surprised, shocked, but happy. Things were good. There were several people that know that we hadn't planned on telling, but thanks to family members, the word was out.

It does seem like the theme for reactions was shock and disbelief at first! Good to know we weren't the only ones dumb-founded! There was far more pregnancy talk than I had expected with the family. I'm not sure why, but I didn't think it would monopolize the conversations all weekend. I guess women that have had kids/been pregnant really like to get all the details about other's pregnancies and symptoms and fill them in on theirs?

Speaking of symptoms, the main ones I'm having are bloating (the jeans have already been unbuttoned!), extreme fatigue to the point that a fell asleep in-the-middle of a conversation, and full-on morning-noon-night sickness. I try not to complain about that one, but it is really hard when nothing makes you feel better and you're at the verge of throwing up, but just not quite there. My foods of choice that don't having me wanting to hurl are the less desirable food groups - fried, greasy, cheesy, salty. I'm sustaining on tacos, enchiladas, tortilla chips, McD hashbrowns, apple juice and attempts with ginger ale.

I have tried all the "tricks" that people have told me - eat before getting out of bed, saltines, ginger ale, always have something on your stomach, protein, starches, what meds to take and when- but all to no real improvement. I don't think it is bad enough to the point to need a Rx for something (yet). I'm just looking for some simple things that can help ease it. I have been informed about a few items that I think are worth checking out - Queasy/Preg drops, sour candies, and pedialyte. Any of you ladies out there have any other good suggestions?!? I'll be asking my Ob about it at my appt on Thursday. I have no problem if I just have to deal with it, but would love it if there was something to ease it a bit. I'm not looking to completely cure it or prevent it, just to bring it down a few notches.

Because I've been feeling so ill, and it is obviously starting to impact my job a bit, I came clean to my boss as well. I didn't want anyone thinking that I'm slacking off when I disappear for stretches of time or just sit at my desk sipping juice or when I come in late or leave early. He was very happy for us, asked if I've told anyone else in the lab (I haven't) and kinda gave me some pointers about what I should and shouldn't do in the lab (which I already knew). He did have to break some confidentiality and fill me in that one of the lab members has Hep B, but he did it with the best intentions. He knows I'd be the 1st person there helping if they got sick or hurt, and he didn't want me to expose "us" to the hazard. He also recommended I give the other PI in the lab a heads up about my delays and breaks, not to tell her I'm pregnant (unless I want to, which I don't) but just to let her know for time/record keeping purposes that I have stuff going on "medically" as he put it.

In other exciting and happy news- I'm an aunt again for the 13th time. PG-SIL went into labor just hours after we left their place on Sunday night, 2 days over her due date. She had feared having to do another cesearian but had given up that the baby was going to decide to come on her own. Surprise! After visiting the 3 of them yesterday evening, her "daydream" of giving birth naturally wasn't quite the glamorous  experience she thought it would be. Apparently, contractions can be really painful, labor can be extremely exhausting, and there is lots of bodily fluids involved. Who knew?!? But everyone is doing well, is healthy, happy, and very tired.

Now, I'm just eagerly awaiting my appt on Thursday and the dinner/get together that the Boy is planning to celebrate my birthday (on Friday, the day after). An then on to telling my family this coming weekend. I need to figure out how we'll be cluing them in!

I had a dream

I'm not sure if it's all the various vitamins or the fact that I'm jacking my hormones around, but I've had super surreal, vivid, and bizarre dreams frequently the last 3-4mo. Surprisingly, only a few of them have been pregnancy or baby related. Normally, I can't remember anything but small tid-bits of my dreams and only if I focus on those details directly after waking up. The intensity of these recent dreams kinda make me a bit apprehensive about what my dreams will be like when I am pregnant.

One of last night's dream left me with a deep sadness when I awoke this morning. The other has me thinking I'm losing my marbles. The first dream I remember from last night focused on me as a boy in elementary school in the cafeteria. They didn't have the chicken Parmesan with spaghetti noodles, just shells for some reason. I complained and had them put my chicken on a pile of mac & cheese and give me the special butterscotch bread for dessert. Totally bizarro. I sat down with another boy that I had meet earlier in the day. We had a food swap at the table with some other kids and something crazy about a magician or fairy. The last bit is a blur because my loving husband woke me to kiss me goodbye as he was leaving for work. I almost immediately fell back to sleep and started the 2nd dream.

This dream started out with us on our way to the hospital. There, I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. Our baby boy. We didn't have a name for him, but he was our sweet little boy. We were able to take him home, still unnamed. The remainder of the dream just centered around my feelings for him and nursing and holding him. He was perfect. He would just look and stare at me, never cried, and slept like an angel. There were other people in the dream, but they were merely background characters, shadows in the soft, dim lighting of my subconscious. I woke up and my little baby boy wasn't with me any more. I tried to fall back into that wonderful dream, but only just slept.

I wonder to myself if this was the baby I had lost the other week; if this was a glimpse of what my life could have been like 8mo from now? I felt whole, complete and content. My whole world was that small little human being. I feel a bit empty now, like I'm missing a part of me this morning. And yet, I feel a bit more at peace with things, a bit more hopeful. I am sad to not be able to still hold that little boy, but the feelings and sensations of my dream have left me eager to experience them in my waking life. I can not wait to be so caught up in the calm and emotions of holding my child, sleepily nursing in the quiet dark of night. I can not wait to have my heart bursting with love for something so pure and simple. Be it a boy or a girl.