Errrtt!
Next cycle.
I was feeling kinda hopeful this time too. After an almost normal (for me) O date, I had a lot more creamy CM than normal after ovulation. Then, on 4dpo, a tiny bit of pink was mixed in, at just one trip to the restroom, and only when I wiped. My heart skipped a beat thinking maybe implantation bleeding.
Nothing else on 5dpo. A tiny bit of red spotting before bed on 6dpo. Of course, at this point, I've been poas-ing at least once a day. I mean, the last 2 times I had a bfp a day or 2 after implantation, so the same should happen this time if that was what was going on. Plus, it was pink/red and not the usual brown spotting I would get pre-period.
It wasn't. Just another kooky loop my body decided to throw at me. At least this cycle was 27d rather than 90d. My LP did almost double from last time.
My take away from this cycle is that I seem to be heading towards better. Even though this was a medicated cycle, it was almost identical to my "normal."
And last but not least, I get another shot at a June baby. That's one plus side to this.
Another downside is how uncomfortable and achy I'm feeling. Plus, no alcohol in the house at the moment, and I'm too tired and worn down feeling to go out and get it. I barely was able to work up the energy and motivation to pick up my Letro.zole script refill to start tomorrow.
It should be "interesting" in a few weeks time over here, seeing how this cycle will play out.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Monday, September 9, 2013
CD20
Well, looks like the Letro.zole is working. Not quite as well as it did pre-Em, but I'll take cd20 over cd90 any day!
A few things of note this cycle (and somewhat from last, too) (Lots of TMI to follow):
1- Leading up to O, I feel the need to pee more often. I normally nave no issue going most of the work day with out a trip to the loo, but around O late, it's every 2hrs, easy.
2- My cervix is not the same as it was before. Other than the opening being diff, the location and texture is way different. High is not as high as it was, nor is soft as soft. It also seems like rather than being at the end of the tunnel (so to say), it's a skylight towards the back. When it's low, it is almost touching the bottom side of things.
3- Holy EWCM!! I get it 3-4 days in a row and by the bucket loads. It practically vanishes as soon as I get that +opt though.
4- Speaking of pee sticks, I've been getting my +opt 1st thing in the morning. Before, it was later afternoon or evenings. And those sticks go from zero test line, to hint the day/evening before, to positive. No gradual darkening.
5- Em has learned that it is ok to pee on paper/sticks. And it's funny to try and stick stuff in the toilet while mommy pees.
6- I feel more uncomfortable and moody pre-O than I do pre-AF. I seriously sport a bump leading up to ovulation these days. The girly bits are rather swollen and sore feeling too.
7- I'm just as worried about things not working out as I am about being successful.
I'll be picking up the lovely progesterone suppositories likely Tuesday afternoon/evening. Boy, and I looking forward to those. Here's to getting that June bug baby...
In the meantime, more gratuitous Em pics for your viewing pleasure. I can't believe this girl is 20m old, now! I don't think I can keep calling her a baby for long.
A few things of note this cycle (and somewhat from last, too) (Lots of TMI to follow):
1- Leading up to O, I feel the need to pee more often. I normally nave no issue going most of the work day with out a trip to the loo, but around O late, it's every 2hrs, easy.
2- My cervix is not the same as it was before. Other than the opening being diff, the location and texture is way different. High is not as high as it was, nor is soft as soft. It also seems like rather than being at the end of the tunnel (so to say), it's a skylight towards the back. When it's low, it is almost touching the bottom side of things.
3- Holy EWCM!! I get it 3-4 days in a row and by the bucket loads. It practically vanishes as soon as I get that +opt though.
4- Speaking of pee sticks, I've been getting my +opt 1st thing in the morning. Before, it was later afternoon or evenings. And those sticks go from zero test line, to hint the day/evening before, to positive. No gradual darkening.
5- Em has learned that it is ok to pee on paper/sticks. And it's funny to try and stick stuff in the toilet while mommy pees.
6- I feel more uncomfortable and moody pre-O than I do pre-AF. I seriously sport a bump leading up to ovulation these days. The girly bits are rather swollen and sore feeling too.
7- I'm just as worried about things not working out as I am about being successful.
I'll be picking up the lovely progesterone suppositories likely Tuesday afternoon/evening. Boy, and I looking forward to those. Here's to getting that June bug baby...
In the meantime, more gratuitous Em pics for your viewing pleasure. I can't believe this girl is 20m old, now! I don't think I can keep calling her a baby for long.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
4.
My ovaries doth mock me.
2 days of positive opts. A slow temp rise, then a half degree jump. Ovulation confirmed!
Woo freakin' Hoo!
Except not.
Started spotting at work the next day. Light flow by night. Cue cd1.
While I'm glad that marathon cycle ended, I'm really feeling crushed by a 4d luteal phase. It was like planning a party for months only to have it whittle down to a few sparklers. woo.
It was at least nice and light for the last 3 days. I guess that's something.
I've been back and forth and back again for the last few months. It was a mute point prior as I hadn't ovulated in 3 months. Now, though, I finally had a new cycle. A decision needed to be made.
I filled the Letro.zole Rx. took the 1st dose today. I'm a bit glad that the pharmacy I dropped the progesterone script off at couldn't fill it as it needs to be compounded, but they filled the Letro. Was it some grand cosmic sign? Emma says "noo."
On the good news front, Little Miss has had a few tinkles, dribbles and drops in the p.o.t.t.y the last few days, rather than peeing on the floor. We've decided it's not worth the fight 2-3x each evening to change her diaper against her very determined will and have just been letting her run a-muck, naked as a jaybird. Well, almost naked. Shoes seem to be the only article of "clothing" she not only tolerates but requests.
2 days of positive opts. A slow temp rise, then a half degree jump. Ovulation confirmed!
Woo freakin' Hoo!
Except not.
Started spotting at work the next day. Light flow by night. Cue cd1.
While I'm glad that marathon cycle ended, I'm really feeling crushed by a 4d luteal phase. It was like planning a party for months only to have it whittle down to a few sparklers. woo.
It was at least nice and light for the last 3 days. I guess that's something.
I've been back and forth and back again for the last few months. It was a mute point prior as I hadn't ovulated in 3 months. Now, though, I finally had a new cycle. A decision needed to be made.
I filled the Letro.zole Rx. took the 1st dose today. I'm a bit glad that the pharmacy I dropped the progesterone script off at couldn't fill it as it needs to be compounded, but they filled the Letro. Was it some grand cosmic sign? Emma says "noo."
On the good news front, Little Miss has had a few tinkles, dribbles and drops in the p.o.t.t.y the last few days, rather than peeing on the floor. We've decided it's not worth the fight 2-3x each evening to change her diaper against her very determined will and have just been letting her run a-muck, naked as a jaybird. Well, almost naked. Shoes seem to be the only article of "clothing" she not only tolerates but requests.
 |
| It's hard to mope around when this amount of adorable silliness calls your name. |
Saturday, August 17, 2013
FINALLY!!
3 months.
90 days.
Finally, a positive opt! I guess 5th time's the charm?
Strangely enough, I've had a +opt for 2 days now alongside a huge temp drop yesterday. I've been feeling very uncomfortable and bloated-like. I'm hoping this is going to be a good strong ovulation that will reset my body back onto a more normal cycle. We've been trying each time I've had that oh so fun vaginal gold (EWCM).
While I'd be overjoyed if this ridiculous cycle paid off, I'd be completely happy if it just ended as well. In all honesty, I've already looked up the possible due date if we were successful (May 8th, 2014), and we could share the news with family and friends around Thanksgiving. Planning ahead just a bit, huh? I'm also entertaining fears of twins and triplets with how uncomfortable my ovaries have been the last several days. My anxiety has lead to some pretty crazy and out there imaginary worries and scenarios. Fun-times.
If what I expect to happen does, I plan to take the Letro.zole cd4-7 next cycle even though Em still nurses a tad in the mornings. I think if I take it after she nurses, there should be very little in my milk that she's drinking very little of as it has a short half-life and will only be for 5 days. Plus, it's a fairly low dose. I would love a June baby as no one on either side has a birthday in June (or August, but I really don't want to wait 2m to have a positive preg test). This thinking has really driven home how much it suck to be TTC after IF and loss. I don't get to truly be one of those women that can "plan" a pregnancy.
"Gee, August would be such a lovely month to have a baby! Guess I should go make one now. Yipee!" (Which is almost exactly what a friend of mine is worried about right now. Her and her husband agreed to wait until she defended her PhD in October to start trying and had an incident that lead to unprotected sex. Now, they are both a bit freaked that she's likely pregnant. Seriously?! Ugh.)
Anyways, my preference would be to get pregnant ASAP, but I'm not banking on it. At all. Hopefully, it doesn't take months and months and months as I've already gone through 2 of our planned months of TTC with jack-squat happening. I've turned my Rx from the RE for the Letro and progesterone "bullets" into the pharmacy. I 100% plan to start the progesterone after it's confirmed that I've ovulated. I also 100% plan to make and appt to get my levels check around 7dpo as my NP-ObGyn so kindly offered anytime I wanted. It's strange that it's cheaper to do it there than the RE's even though it's the same time and test, so I'm glad I have that option.
I'd like to end this rambling post with this: Trying to conceive is a mind-f*ck and I hope I keep my sanity by the end of it.
(One last edition: I'm addicted to POAS. Again. Good thing I have 50 more opts and 15 more hpts on their way to me in the next few days, right?)
90 days.
Finally, a positive opt! I guess 5th time's the charm?
Strangely enough, I've had a +opt for 2 days now alongside a huge temp drop yesterday. I've been feeling very uncomfortable and bloated-like. I'm hoping this is going to be a good strong ovulation that will reset my body back onto a more normal cycle. We've been trying each time I've had that oh so fun vaginal gold (EWCM).
 |
| Truncated so it would fit on the screen without having to scroll over so much... Also, to reflect when I started temping consistently (-ish). |
While I'd be overjoyed if this ridiculous cycle paid off, I'd be completely happy if it just ended as well. In all honesty, I've already looked up the possible due date if we were successful (May 8th, 2014), and we could share the news with family and friends around Thanksgiving. Planning ahead just a bit, huh? I'm also entertaining fears of twins and triplets with how uncomfortable my ovaries have been the last several days. My anxiety has lead to some pretty crazy and out there imaginary worries and scenarios. Fun-times.
If what I expect to happen does, I plan to take the Letro.zole cd4-7 next cycle even though Em still nurses a tad in the mornings. I think if I take it after she nurses, there should be very little in my milk that she's drinking very little of as it has a short half-life and will only be for 5 days. Plus, it's a fairly low dose. I would love a June baby as no one on either side has a birthday in June (or August, but I really don't want to wait 2m to have a positive preg test). This thinking has really driven home how much it suck to be TTC after IF and loss. I don't get to truly be one of those women that can "plan" a pregnancy.
"Gee, August would be such a lovely month to have a baby! Guess I should go make one now. Yipee!" (Which is almost exactly what a friend of mine is worried about right now. Her and her husband agreed to wait until she defended her PhD in October to start trying and had an incident that lead to unprotected sex. Now, they are both a bit freaked that she's likely pregnant. Seriously?! Ugh.)
Anyways, my preference would be to get pregnant ASAP, but I'm not banking on it. At all. Hopefully, it doesn't take months and months and months as I've already gone through 2 of our planned months of TTC with jack-squat happening. I've turned my Rx from the RE for the Letro and progesterone "bullets" into the pharmacy. I 100% plan to start the progesterone after it's confirmed that I've ovulated. I also 100% plan to make and appt to get my levels check around 7dpo as my NP-ObGyn so kindly offered anytime I wanted. It's strange that it's cheaper to do it there than the RE's even though it's the same time and test, so I'm glad I have that option.
I'd like to end this rambling post with this: Trying to conceive is a mind-f*ck and I hope I keep my sanity by the end of it.
(One last edition: I'm addicted to POAS. Again. Good thing I have 50 more opts and 15 more hpts on their way to me in the next few days, right?)
Saturday, July 27, 2013
10 Weeks
Yup.
That's the length of this cycle. CD 72 today. I've had a tiny bit of spotting yesterday and today on the tp. And then there is the cramps and uncomfortable midsection. I sure hope that means this marathon of anovulation is ending.
I had my yearly exam on Monday. The NP was also disappointed that my body isn't cooperating. Once things do start going, she says that I can drop in anytime to have my progesterone levels checked after Ov.
Nursing and my weight are the likely suspects. Even though the amount of nursing and milk have decreased, she thinks the stimulation is still just enough to suppress my cycle. Also, even though I'm pretty much where I was pre-PG weight-wise, I should gain the 10lbs that I've been recommended to do for the last 5-7yrs. It hasn't worked well before and I don't hold out much hope this time. I know it sounds like a horrible plight. I know so many woman that wouldn't hesitate to say "I wish I had that problem." But those women aren't likely TTC and having issues ovulating...
Apparently, I'm not "progesterone-deficient" as I previously though but produce insufficient estrogen. This would explain why I had later ovulation than average, low or non-existent sex drive often. It doesn't explain why I had awesome EWCM for days before ovulation or great uterine lining. It's not like I actually expect my body to have conditions that are normal or typical at this point, but it would be nic eif it would at least be screw up in a consistent manner.
Blah. I'm hoping this blog has more cheerful posts soon. Between the cycle that never ends, work crap, home/husband/finance crap, and the weaning and hormonal changes, I'm seriously experiencing a major chase of the Blues. I need some good news and soon.
That's the length of this cycle. CD 72 today. I've had a tiny bit of spotting yesterday and today on the tp. And then there is the cramps and uncomfortable midsection. I sure hope that means this marathon of anovulation is ending.
I had my yearly exam on Monday. The NP was also disappointed that my body isn't cooperating. Once things do start going, she says that I can drop in anytime to have my progesterone levels checked after Ov.
Nursing and my weight are the likely suspects. Even though the amount of nursing and milk have decreased, she thinks the stimulation is still just enough to suppress my cycle. Also, even though I'm pretty much where I was pre-PG weight-wise, I should gain the 10lbs that I've been recommended to do for the last 5-7yrs. It hasn't worked well before and I don't hold out much hope this time. I know it sounds like a horrible plight. I know so many woman that wouldn't hesitate to say "I wish I had that problem." But those women aren't likely TTC and having issues ovulating...
Apparently, I'm not "progesterone-deficient" as I previously though but produce insufficient estrogen. This would explain why I had later ovulation than average, low or non-existent sex drive often. It doesn't explain why I had awesome EWCM for days before ovulation or great uterine lining. It's not like I actually expect my body to have conditions that are normal or typical at this point, but it would be nic eif it would at least be screw up in a consistent manner.
Blah. I'm hoping this blog has more cheerful posts soon. Between the cycle that never ends, work crap, home/husband/finance crap, and the weaning and hormonal changes, I'm seriously experiencing a major chase of the Blues. I need some good news and soon.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Nada
CD63.
THIRD round of semi-fertile CM.
Opt and hpt are still negative, but at least yesterday the line on the opt was at half the darkness of the control line. It's better than barely there, right?
I have an appt with my favorite nurse-practitioner on Monday morning. Other than the usual poking and prodding of the annual exam, this will be my main concern/complaint. I'll see what she thinks and go from there. It will save me the $75 to see the RE for another consult/appt since women well visits are now covered by insurance (my plan didn't renew until July rather than January like most).
This blows.
Em has had several days where she's nursed just in the morning. No discomfort on my boobs' part going 24hrs or more without her nursing. Back into my pre-PG bras with some room to spare. She's also been going back and forth from side to side several times when nursing, so I know I'm making next to nothing these days.
Come on body! Get yourself together and work for a change...
THIRD round of semi-fertile CM.
Opt and hpt are still negative, but at least yesterday the line on the opt was at half the darkness of the control line. It's better than barely there, right?
I have an appt with my favorite nurse-practitioner on Monday morning. Other than the usual poking and prodding of the annual exam, this will be my main concern/complaint. I'll see what she thinks and go from there. It will save me the $75 to see the RE for another consult/appt since women well visits are now covered by insurance (my plan didn't renew until July rather than January like most).
This blows.
Em has had several days where she's nursed just in the morning. No discomfort on my boobs' part going 24hrs or more without her nursing. Back into my pre-PG bras with some room to spare. She's also been going back and forth from side to side several times when nursing, so I know I'm making next to nothing these days.
Come on body! Get yourself together and work for a change...
Friday, July 5, 2013
Export Fail
I'm in the midst of trying to recreate my blog roll for my blog reader feed thing. I had forgotten about the Goo.gle Reader imploding on July 1st. I had exported my feed, but now can't find it to import to a new reader!!
Waaahhhh!
If you are reading this and want me to follow you or know that I follow you, please comment and I'll make sure you are added! I'm trying to add things back by memory so it's going to be spotty at best!
Waaahhhh!
If you are reading this and want me to follow you or know that I follow you, please comment and I'll make sure you are added! I'm trying to add things back by memory so it's going to be spotty at best!
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