There wasn't anything wrong with the actual day. I wasn't disappointed by the game as I didn't care if the Pats or the Giants won. All in all, it was a really average day.
But the daggers of IF struck again. I've already been dealing with the anniversary of the miscarriage this week. The last thing I wanted was to deal with a pregnancy announcement. But guess what?
My SIL, the one that was previously referred to as PG-SIL and threw the shower for me, is 7 or 8w pregnant. They have their 1st ultrasound for this pregnancy on Valentine's day. They were planning on telling us while we were over to watch the Big Game last night, but I happened to see "Ultrasound" written on their calendar.
I'm happy for them and glad it only took them the 2 treatment cycles of Clomid this time (although I don't think the clomid is specifically needed in their case as she ovulates fine and only seems to need a bit of progesterone support). But I didn't want to find out about it this week! The previous week would have been perfectly OK; next week would have worked, too. I just wanted to cry the rest of the evening.
WTF, Infertility!? It's been a year, and yet, the emotions seem just as strong and raw as they were then. Should they have lessened drastically by now, given time and the fact that I now have a beautiful, little daughter? Why does every pregnancy announcement still hurt? Why do I get angry and resentful when I hear people talk about how easy it was for them or how quickly it happened?
Thanks, Infertility and Loss for embittering me to happy news like this and for not letting me fully move on from it all...