I feel like such a bad blogger. I've been meaning to post an update about the days I was at my parents and my family's reactions. Things just kept coming up, but mostly, I just kept laying down. I feel horrible posting my symptoms because it feels like I'm complaining about them. I'm really not! I truly hope no one thinks for one second that I am not thankful for every dry heave, cramp, bathroom trip or lack thereof, and headache. Because I am so very thankful and almost relish how strong these things are at times.
They aren't glamorous. They aren't fun. They do make me feel pretty crappy.
But I wouldn't wish them away for anything! Except for maybe an accurate crystal ball or a window straight into there so I could actually see that everything was going great at any time I wanted. Every single time I find myself having to focus on not revisiting what I last ate or how uncomfortable I may feel, I mentally thank my little, growing worm for being so strong and healthy to make me feel this way.
My greatest fear right now is that my body is/will send me all these "reassuring" signals and going forward with things, but my little worm has stopped. Just thinking that a) the baby has gone, or b) all this is for nothing, is almost too much for me to even handle. Thankfully, these thoughts are usually soon followed by the need to pee or some other fluid related bodily function and I'm back to thanking the baby for them again.
Since I've graduated from the RE, have had good blood work and, now, a good ultrasound at my Ob's office, I'm not having any further (medical) reassurance for another 4wks. I know that if something happens or I desperately need it, I could call and schedule another appt or u/s, but I really really don't want to be one of "those" patients - the crazy, bothersome, overly worrisome, pregnant women that thinks the world revolves around their uterus. So until June 30th, I'm just going to take as much continued comfort in the morning-noon-night sickness, the dry heaves, the smells/food aversions, all the bathroom situations, wild emotions, and everything else my body decides it wants to add to the mix. They are signs of a healthy pregnancy, what I've been striving for since last July. They are the gifts from my baby. I will appreciate them as much as I do that little life growing like a weed inside me.
I was satrting to get a little worries as you hadn't posted for a few days. Then I spotted a comment from you on another blog and was relieved all was okay with you.
ReplyDeleteI hoppe all your symptoms stay but maybe they could ease up on you just a little. Glad all is okay with you though. x
It's so hard to go between appointments without confirmation that everything is fine, but you have to just assume it is. My docs have told me the same thing - if I have any concerns, I could go in and get an ultrasound, but I'm trying to not freak myself out. If I have any real problems, like bleeding, I won't hesitate to run into my doc's office, but I have to assume everything is ok. The symptoms are comforting, aren't they? Keep in mind, they may ease up a bit, and that does NOT mean that anything is wrong! :)
ReplyDeleteI totally get your worry! But I think you're handling it swimmingly. I don't want to stoke the anxiety fires, because really, there's no reason.
ReplyDeleteHOWEVER!
Don't let your fear of being one of "those" women keep you from calling your OB if you really feel the need. Better to be one of "those" than to regret it later.
But - it seems like that's not a worry! Just be mindful of your body and I know everything will be fine!
And yes - you totally owe us a family reaction update!
xoxo
I don't think it sounds like you are complaining at all! I've been really lucky so far at avoiding the morning sickness, I've got other symptoms though (thankfully) otherwise I'd be pretty worried this pregnancy was all in my head. I'm like you though, even though I've heard the heartbeat and had a great ultrasound, I'm still worried that things aren't "okay." For me I think it's probably because I don't have much morning sickness which is such a common pregnancy symptom.
ReplyDeleteChristina,
ReplyDeleteSo nice to be in the same boat as another blogger. Frequently, I read your post and feel like it could be my own. Here comes TMI in this comment, but it might make you feel better about your symptoms...I'm peeing my pants. Only a little when I cough or sneeze, but it is humiliating! I made the mistake of telling my husband and he laughs and laughs at me (I can't laugh and laugh because...you guessed it...I will pee my pants). The nurse told me yesterday that it is totally normal and will get better once the uterus pops out of place instead of pushing on the bladder...but for now...I'm a pants pee'er. Oh...and I am totally going to be the crazy patient that make my OBGYN want to change professions, so anytime you feel like you need reassurance, go for it and know that there are worst patients out there. I'm so glad things are going so well for you.