I feel like such a bad blogger. I've been meaning to post an update about the days I was at my parents and my family's reactions. Things just kept coming up, but mostly, I just kept laying down. I feel horrible posting my symptoms because it feels like I'm complaining about them. I'm really not! I truly hope no one thinks for one second that I am not thankful for every dry heave, cramp, bathroom trip or lack thereof, and headache. Because I am so very thankful and almost relish how strong these things are at times.
They aren't glamorous. They aren't fun. They do make me feel pretty crappy.
But I wouldn't wish them away for anything! Except for maybe an accurate crystal ball or a window straight into there so I could actually see that everything was going great at any time I wanted. Every single time I find myself having to focus on not revisiting what I last ate or how uncomfortable I may feel, I mentally thank my little, growing worm for being so strong and healthy to make me feel this way.
My greatest fear right now is that my body is/will send me all these "reassuring" signals and going forward with things, but my little worm has stopped. Just thinking that a) the baby has gone, or b) all this is for nothing, is almost too much for me to even handle. Thankfully, these thoughts are usually soon followed by the need to pee or some other fluid related bodily function and I'm back to thanking the baby for them again.
Since I've graduated from the RE, have had good blood work and, now, a good ultrasound at my Ob's office, I'm not having any further (medical) reassurance for another 4wks. I know that if something happens or I desperately need it, I could call and schedule another appt or u/s, but I really really don't want to be one of "those" patients - the crazy, bothersome, overly worrisome, pregnant women that thinks the world revolves around their uterus. So until June 30th, I'm just going to take as much continued comfort in the morning-noon-night sickness, the dry heaves, the smells/food aversions, all the bathroom situations, wild emotions, and everything else my body decides it wants to add to the mix. They are signs of a healthy pregnancy, what I've been striving for since last July. They are the gifts from my baby. I will appreciate them as much as I do that little life growing like a weed inside me.