A Rant to the Masses

I realized over this weekend the whole range of reasons why I've not really gone "public" about my pregnancy. There are definitely several different reasons, and some of them I know you ladies, PG or on your way there, would agree with wholeheartedly.

In the beginning, one of the main reasons was fear. I was afraid to tell people. I didn't want to put the word out and have to retract it all again in a week or two if things crashed this 2nd time around. It was fear and worry that I might somehow jinx it. I know that is absolutely ridiculous, but I probably would have done all sorts of "good luck" charms and positive incantations if it meant I'd be bringing home a real, live baby at the end. Now that I'm in the for-real 2nd trimester regardless of the website I check, the fear, while not completely gone, is greatly diminished. Several good scans, the constant heartbeat on the doppler, nothing at this moment is giving me any reason to think this shouldn't work out in the end. (Here's hoping!!) I'm starting to feel a bit more relaxed about things in general.

Second, it's not really my thing to be the center of attention or to call attention to myself. I don't like LOTS of fuss to be made over me. You tell anyone really good news and there is bound to be a big to-do about it. When that news involves babies - forget about it being a low-key thing! There are very few people that can just leave it at a "Congratulations!" Most want about 1,000 specific details about the when's, where's, who's and how's.  Not my style in the least.

But the biggest reason I've not been spreading the news like butter on toast? I don't want to talk about pregnancy, being pregnant, or babies everyday, all day. Crazy, I know, but it's not the only thing going on in my life right now. Sure, it is probably the most exciting, but there isn't much to update each and every week. Yup, still pregnant. Yup, still feeling sick. Nope, no real "baby bump" just yet. No, we haven't picked out names. I don't have any inklings about it being a boy or girl or purple, 3-eyed, tree slug.

Parents. Other family members. Friends. Anyone that I've told so far. If I spend any decent about of time around any of them, about 80% of the conversation is centered around my uterus and what will hopefully be coming out of it in January. I don't like talking about myself that much to begin with (see my Second up there). I REALLY don't like talking about my bodily functions and private parts with everyone and anyone. I'm alright with sharing this info and parts with the medical profession. It's expected and kinda required. I do not need to nor want to discuss these with people I actually know and see on a regular basis. And I can not forget about all the advice and suggestions and reliving of other people's pregnancies or their sister's husband's cousin's labor story!! Apparently, people think that being pregnant means you not only want to disclose every little thing your own body is doing, but you are just dying to hear about theirs and anyone elses! But at the same time, I can't seem to let them down or disappoint them, so I nod, listen, and reply with some tidbits. Just the usual, generic pregnancy info.

"Gee, my boobs ARE bigger. Thanks for noticing!"

"How crazy is it to think that the baby is the size of some random item from the produce section and moving around in my growing uterus!?"

"Excuse me. Pregnant lady going to the bathroom for the 4th time this afternoon." And to get away from people to have a few moments of peace and quiet. No fetus-talk. No belly rubbings. Just me, my thoughts, a bit of urine and some CM. It ain't pretty, but it's better company than the pregnancy-crazed masses that seem to surround me.


**ps- I haven't really been posting, but I've been keeping up with everyone I was following! I've been having commenting issues and a dying laptop issue to contend with, so I can't always comment or reply to the things I want to! Just know that I'm cheering for you all - be it for good news, that long-awaited BFP, or continued success in your own pregnancy (don't feel pressured to tell me what fruit your baby is this week though!).