Monday, January 24, 2011

How Low can I go?

Haha! See what I did there?! Yup, kept with the limbo theme. Plus, my period does bring me to a bit of a low. Nice play on words, huh?

CD1 again. I was pretty much sure that it was coming, just wasn't sure when. I discovered a new pre-menstrual symptom though. Sore, achy joints. Yesterday, my hips, knees, shoulders and elbows were uncomfortable and just bothersome. Then there was the softening and slight raising of the cervix, and the fact that it went wide open today. The 1st couple of days of "Aunt Flo's" visit are always suck-tastic, physically and emotionally uncomfortable.

But I can drink! Drink my delicious adult beverages without the slightest bit of guilt that I may be damaging a developing pregnancy. The glasses of wine and cocktails that I "celebrate" the start of each new cycle boosts my spirit 2 fold. 1 - I love that I can drink and enjoy it without that previously mentioned guilt; savor the yummy flavors and smells. 2 - The buzz and all that comes with drinking makes be both happy and dulls my discomforts and aches. Plus, I don't have to deal with the pretty yucky progesterone supps for at least another 3 weeks!

Of course, there are far more negative things to focus on at this point in my cycle. Lack of baby. Another month of trying. The bleeding. Dealing with pads and tampons for the next 3-6d. The crazy crap my body goes through with the crash of hormones. I could just keep going on and on about the suck factor of a period. However, if I did that all the time, each time I'm back at square one/day one, how the heck could I even bear continuing trying? My soul would be long crushed by now under the oppressing negativity and despair that would generate.

I know this road is going to be a long one now, much longer than I anticipated or even dreamed it would be. Luckily, I've been able to to make stops along the way and pick up things that keep me going and moving forward. Words of wisdom and advice. The occasional drink and comfort/junk food, I'm not going to lie. But really there are just a couple of things that have really made this trip so much more bearable. The support and understanding of friends - mostly of the cyber variety, but true encouraging and caring friends none the less. Friends and the knowledge that I've made it this far. If I turn back now, that's just a lot more unnecessary walking, especially if that magical cycle we make our baby is just around the bend.

So CD1, and I'm prepping my travel pack for this cycle. Loaded it with those friends, another pair of shoes, feminine products, alcohol, my ovulation stimulation meds, prenatals, and all that other crap. Tied it all up in a cute little bundle, stuck it on the end of that limbo pole, and plan to toss it over my shoulder as I make my way on into February. And this time, I haven't even cried once yet!

1 comment:

  1. Great post. Your positive attitude is awesome. I hope it rubs off on me while I follow your post. I just started my blog too - Hopefully, us gals dealing with IF can support one another through this journey we are all on.