Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Baby Shower Sitch

So here's just a little update about the SIL's baby shower dealio. Rather than go back-and-forth with myself over what I should do, I sent her an email. It's a bit rough and a little disjointed, I know, because if I gave it too much more thought, I never would have the balls to hit the send button.

I know [Boy] has told [BIL] what's been going on for us lately, and I'm sure he's passed that on to you.

I've received the baby shower invite from the [SIL's friend] the other week. I haven't RSVP'd for it yet, though. I am very conflicted and just wanted to take a moment to let you know why.

I would hate to say I will be there and then unable to feel I can make it come the day of the shower. I also don't want to outright say I won't be there. At this moment, I can't predict how I will feel that day and therefore, don't know how to respond to the invite. The baby showers that I was invited to at the end of last year were a bit uncomfortable and difficult for me then, so I don't know how I will handle one now. I don't want to take away from your joy on that day. All I can promise right now is that I'll try to be there. I hope you will understand.

So here's hoping she does understand that I'll be a bit wishy-washy on that subject. Now... I have to wait and see how she responds...


  1. I think it's good you said something--you were just being honest. Here's hoping she understands. Hugs.

  2. Being honest is the best. I went to the showers up until 1.5 years and then stopped and people knew why. The ones you go to though mean a lot more to the mom-to-be knowing your sadness. Just do what you can emotionally!

  3. Great email. If it is okay with you, I might plagerize some of it to deal with my upcoming baby showers that I might not be able to handle. You just said everything so well. Way to balance taking care of yourself and being sensitive to the mother-to-be.

  4. Honesty is always best! I'm so proud of you for writing such a lovely email. I hope she responds well too!

  5. I think that email is perfect. Short and too the point, but compassionate as well. I hope she understands..

  6. Well done. Go you!! Much braver than I would be. I had the reverse situation - my SIL did NOT invite me to her baby shower (I live interstate, although we travel home regularly for family functions), so I was upset about that. She does not know about our infertility issues (unless she has figured it out, which wouldn't be hard) and likes to send me photos of her 'little bundle of joy.'