Thursday, March 24, 2011

Word Mojoless

I'm suffering from Blogger's block. There isn't anything much weighing on my mind lately other than "Will I get/stay pregnant this cycle?" and I'm not about to make posts based solely on "symptoms". We all know that they are just a load of hog-wash unless you hugging a toilet or are late. I highly doubt my nauseous feelings today (at 3-5dpo) could at all be indicative of being knocked-up (more likely I possibly had the flu or a bug as a coworker is out the week sick).

I could make another post about my dialogue with the PG-SIL. She got my last email and decided to IM me (something she hasn't done in about 6-10m). The conversation played out exactly as I thought it would. We did the 20 questions type thing as she asked how, what, when, where and why. It was quickly followed with "I did this" and "we found that this worked for me" and "You should check out opks to determine your O and confirm it with temping". Oh and "did they happen to give me an Rx for clomid?" because that worked for her. We then discussed various forms of progesterone. Apparently, my Master's degree isn't as sufficient a knowledge base as what she's learn the 4-5m before getting pregnant this time. She did have some helpful tips and tidbits about Rx pricing and insurance type things so I was able to come away from the session with something.

My mom called today to check in on me. She saw the link on FB I had up the other day and thought I was having a rough day and wanted to see how I was and all. Very sweet of her, and I greatly appreciated it. It does seem that people don't necessarily believe me when I tell them that we are doing well, considering, and are ready to move on from there. It's probably confusing to them that I've come to terms with my m/c but not with other people's pregnancies and babies. I can talk about the loss now without crying or getting very emotional, but stick me in a room with expectant or new mothers? I'll lose it. I'm pretty sure it's a "you had to be there" thing. If you haven't gone through a loss or a struggle to get pregnant, you won't get how I (we) react differently to rather similar things.

Last thing I can think to mention is how not only am I stumped and baffled by my early ovulation, my FF chart is also confused. My temp increase today has it thinking maybe I popped my egg on cd15 now, but gave me solid crosshairs for cd14 yesterday. Not sure why, but on medicated cycles, I have slow rises. It usually takes a day, maybe 3 for them to get to the elevated, thermal shift point. It is kind of amusing to be a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, surrounded by crazy and fertility-enhancing paraphernalia!


  1. I hear you on the symptoms. In the beginning, I would focus on this symptom or that one during the 2WW, only to discover AF at the end of it. Even now during the cycles when I did turn out pregnant, I can't affirmatively say that I had huge symptoms that were different than others. But I still have lots of hope for this cycle for you!

    That's sweet that your mom and SIL are concerned about you, but they really don't understand, do they? Sending you a hug!

  2. Advice from a fertile is so annoying. I feel like I could be their OB at this point, so it really bugs me when they act like I'm clueless. My SIL had spotting during one of her pregnancies (early on, never a problem..and never a problem getting pg in the first place) and when she found out what I was going through, said "You should have told me! I spotted, remember? I could have helped you!" Like, seriously? You're comparing SPOTTING to 2.5 years of TTC, 4 surgeries, and 2 miscarriages??

    Hope FF figures you out soon :)