Sunday, April 10, 2011

SIL-ution Found

The shower situation has been solved!

I found a compromise that worked for us both. Aren't I a genius!?

Partially born out of my desire not to be there with a good smidgen of my inability to attend, I decided to opt out of the actual shower next weekend.

Instead, I contacted her a few days ago to see if they had any free time this weekend to hang out a bit. We worked it out to go over there last night for dinner. I brought the intended shower gift and a card for the both of them; they gave us food and some hockey time.

I'm no sure why this hadn't occurred to me sooner. It was a great resolution. They got to know that I'm (mostly) happy for them and their baby and not just blowing them off by missing the shower. Plus, they got some onesies and some baby toys, not to mention a great gift bag! I got to appease my guilt of not attending the actual shower. It was much better to do it this way. A total win-win. They got the recognition of their great achievement, and I didn't have to deal with a house full of babies, women talking non-stop about babies and pregnancy, and there would be no crying in a bathroom.

Heck, I even got 2 free EPT digital hpt's out of the trip!

It wasn't a fantastic evening for me, but far better than I know the shower would have been. She still rambled on about the baby and her pregnancy and complained. I was a bit taken aback that she didn't seem to curb any of that given that a) she knows what we are dealing with/going through, and b) she "has been there too" and should know better. It was still like she assumed that she needed to fill me in on things that happen when you are pregnant and in your 3rd trimester. I'm sure I could figure out that you get uncomfortable, and it is difficult to do lots of things, and the baby kicks and doesn't like this or that. I get it!

But I'm proud of myself. Immensely proud. I did something that took a lot on my part to go through with at all. I didn't put a lot of thought into the gift- it was a very whirlwind zip into Target, grabbed some baby things that weren't ridiculously expensive, a bag and some tissue paper, wrapping it all in the car on the way over. But I didn't complain. I didn't pout or act anti-social. Nor did I try and make it about me or mention anything about what we are doing now, later, etc. I was quite content to just leave the gift there for them to open when they wanted and not make it a bit to-do. She wanted to open it before we left, which I was fine with, too.

And now, I can focus on one of my favorite females. My wiggle-butt pup, Cricket, goes in next week for knee surgery, and I'm able to spend next weekend pampering and tending to her, with a guilt-free conscience.

In other news... Things are growing. Except out in my garden and not my uterus. Veggie sprouts have been transplanted from their starter dishes into my garden beds, and I have a few little red strawberries peeking out from my planter. Here's hoping a have a bountiful harvest from my petite backyard farm!


  1. I am so glad that you were able to avoid the baby shower. They are always filled with people who want to ask things like, "are you next?" or "when are you planning to add to your family?" It was probably much easier to just chat with your SIL one-on-one, although you'd think she'd be more sensitive to your situation since she's been there before.

    Good luck with Cricket's surgery next week.

  2. Good for you! I it's a bit annoying that the SIL wasn't more sensitive to your feelings, but it seems like you handled yourself wonderfully. :-)
    Your poor puppy. I'm glad you have the time to spoil her rotten. I can't stand to see my doggy in pain. I constantly think that if it's that bad with her, it'll probably be hell with a non-fur baby.
    Oh - and BTW - Things are growing. Except out in my garden and not my uterus - Best. Line. Ever. It needs to be in a movie. Seriously!

  3. What a wonderful compromise! I'm so proud of you for coming up with that idea, and especially happy for you that you don't have to go to the shower!!! Poor little Cricket - knee surgery. She'll definitely need some pampering!

  4. That is a great compromise! I love it!

  5. Great compromise and I am sure they appreciated the one-on-one time :)

  6. I reached the same compromise with my friend...and she does the same thing even though she went through infertility for five years...she prattles on about how awful pregnancy is. But like you's better than the shower. I am so proud of you for making it through that experience. I hope your garden isn't the only thing that is fruitful for you this year!

  7. Such a better option. Good idea.

  8. Hi Christina, just saw your message on my blog and wanted to check in about the Stories Project. I am hoping to set a deadline of Sept. 30th, so I would say just to send it as soon as you are able to.

    The only guidelines are to keep it within 2-4 pages, and to tell your story as you want to tell it. As I collect them, I will sort the stories and edit them.

    Thank you for offering to be a part of the project, and please do share the link to the project page with your readers.