Friday, February 25, 2011

The Parent Trap

Well, it's really just a visit, but I feel kinda stuck in a trap. We initially invited my parents down a few days after I got that positive test last month. We were over do a visit with them (the last was Christmas) and we figured I'd have an early u/s done by then and could share the pics to announce our news.

We all know how things turned out there. And with the subsequent parental phone calls. I'd feel kinda "douche baggy" as the Boy would say, to cancel the visit just because it's now just another visit. I even dropped my mom a line on FB to see if they still planned on coming this weekend. (It is far quicker and easier than calling her, trust me). They'd be bringing their 2 dogs to come play with our monsters out in the backyard, etc. She said they were still intending to come "unless of course, I didn't feel up to it". They'd understand.

Now, all I'm envisioning is my mom asking me questions about the m/c and stuff and my dad trying to awkwardly avoid it and talk about the weather, etc with Boy. I'm also super nervous that the whole things is going to be completely avoided like the plague even though it is that big pink elephant in the corner of the room with a top hat and tutu. I don't really know what I'm expecting to happen or not happen tomorrow. I really don't want to talk about the loss, but I don't want to tiptoe around it and pretend it didn't happen and everything is just honky-dory.

And what if they ask when we will start trying again?! Do I tell them that we ignored the Dr that has seen all my lady bits and insides via phalli-cam, and had lots of sex last week and "here's hoping!" Or just say "yes" or "sorta"? What if they want to know the details of the last 8 months of our trying and the "issues" we mentioned we had been having? How much detail do my parents really want to know and do I want to give them? We don't really talk about that stuff in my family, except if we are making a joke about it. 

I guess I'll just have to wait and see how it goes. I've gotten super great at that since we 1st started trying and like to fancy myself an expert at it by this point. Christina, waiting and seeing expert!


  1. I am so very sorry you had a loss so recently. I really hope the visit with your parents isn't as awkward an uncomfortable as you are anticipating.


    ICLW #19

  2. It's funny how everyones relationships with their parents are different; I actually find comfort with mine coming, no matter the occasion. If you are concerned about that cute large elephant being in the room, why don't you just bring it up, do a quick run down with the answers to the common questions and ask to not discuss it for the rest of the time. I think they'd understand, it would calm their minds that you are okay and know where you stand and it's over; no more worrying about it. Just my 2 cents :)

  3. I've found that my parents have completely surprised me. For the beginning of my TTC journey, I wanted to hide everything, but after letting people know what has happened, they've surprised me and it's been really good. I encourage you to bring it up and talk about it, they care about you, and want to help!

  4. Thanks Ladies! I did enjoy their visit. It didn't come up as a topic so I wasn't going to push it. I'd prefer not having to go through the experience again of retelling it all. They did ask how things have been and how we are, so I think that was their indirect way of checking in on that. Plus, we were told to "take care of yourself" as they were leaving.

    It is pretty incredible how there are so many different family dynamics out there.

  5. I am so pleased to hear that it went well, Christina! It sounds to me like your parents took the perfect approach, letting you bring it up if you wanted, not making you retell the story if you didn't, and being supportive while not intrusive. You deserve good things, so I am glad that this weekend worked out.