|Thanks, Google Images|
I'm not sure if I should blame it on the cold weather that has lingered for far too many months (this is the South, come on!), the lack of sunlight and fun stuff to do outside, or the fact that I'm on cd-freakin-20 and not really sure if there is any sign of ovulation in my near future (I've had 10 days of absolutely, not even close to positive OPTs). Maybe it's all of the above.
I've been back to work for 2 full weeks now, and still not fully motivated to get there as early as I use to or stay as late, or cram as much productivity in the work day as my great multitasking skills will let me. I love my job. I think it is generally interesting and exciting and enjoy being there as much as someone can want to be at work. But lately, I can't get myself to get up with my alarm, stop checking my email/blogs/Facebook, or eat breakfast and pack my lunch in a timely fashion to be at work by the usual 9am. On top of that, by the time 4 o'clock rolls around, all I can think about is going home. That I blame on the Boy as he calls me when he's leaving work at 4.
I'm not depressed, per se. I know that state of mind far more intimately than I'd like. I've actually been the happiest I've been in ages since we started TTC (or WTC). I'm just feeling stagnant. I'm just treading water at work and waiting in ovulation limbo. There's no forward progress, no building momentum, no push to do things at the moment. It's all very bland and boring. I'm in desperate need of a visit from the Motivation Fairy. I think she's related the Tooth Fairy. I just need to figure out what to leave under my pillow for her...
I really want to start my 1st Quarter/Spring house cleaning and organizing. I want to get out in the yard and plant stuff, rips stuff up and make it green again. I'd love to start taking the pups on long, evening or morning walks around our neighborhood regularly. I'd like to be able to look back on each day and feel accomplished in what I've done. Unfortunately, that all takes energy and drive to actually get off my lazy butt and get started. I wish each I could currently enter each day with the outlook of "Anything is possible; it's a brand new day". If only each day didn't seem exactly like the one before it and the one before that. I've been mindlessly going through the motions. Lather. Rinse. Repeat Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday; add conditioner Saturday and Sunday.
Any suggestions or words of wisdom of how to get unstuck?
Update: Apparently, my body got tired of the smack I've been talking and finally decided it's going to do something. I struck "gold" this afternoon! Looks like ovulation my be in my plans for this next week.